Collection of Lame Jokes

[davenn]

 

[WWGD]

Summer sale at the German food store: The best of the Wurst.

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 248130

Worse if he hangs out with a shop teacher missing part of a finger (?).

 

[fresh_42]

A: Can you check my braking lights?
B: Front or rear?

 

[DrClaude]

View attachment 248129

I would actually do that. No need to dirty the wheels in the parking lot...

 

[Borg]

Summer sale at the German food store: The best of the Wurst.

So, brats made from chicken would be the Wurst of the Breast?

 

[Ophiolite]

Gandi was a small, thin man who spoke to God. Because he walked around barefoot a lot he had huge calluses on his feet. He also ate poorly so he suffered from bad breath. So basically you could say he was a supercallusedfragilmystichexedwithhalitosis.

Between the way you spell Gandi and the rest of the world spells Ghandi, there's one H of a difference.

 

[Ibix]

Knock knock.
Who's there?
To.
To who?
No, it's "to whom".

- courtesy of a random QI clip on YouTube.

 

[mfb]

So, brats made from chicken would be the Wurst of the Breast?

Brustwurst? It's not a thing, however.

 

[Wrichik Basu]

 

[Wrichik Basu]

 

[WWGD]

After I lost my first point in tennis I learned the meaning of love.

 

[WWGD]

At the category theory we had coffee in the morning and ffee in the afternoon.(Extra nerd joke).

 

[fresh_42]

At the category theory we had coffee in the morning and ffee in the afternoon.(Extra nerd joke).

And here are the morphisms:

 

[fresh_42]

At the category theory we had coffee in the morning and ffee in the afternoon.(Extra nerd joke).

This can be used in so many situations! Ever tried to call someone cosmart?
Blessed are who have the forgetful functor at hand if <any regretful event>.

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[BillTre]

"Who wants to learn Roman numerals?"

"Well, I for one."

 

[BillTre]

Triple Pun, recently seen:

 

[fresh_42]

I will grow my own food from now on. That should be much healthier. Does anyone know where to get pizza seeds?

 

[256bits]

Back to Pirates.
Why do pirates never test message?

Because they like to communicate Aye to Aye.

 

[256bits]

Why does pirate have a parrot on his shoulder?

What! You think an elephant would sit still?

 

[256bits]

I will grow my own food from now on. That should be much healthier. Does one know where to get pizza seeds?

I don't know.

Try something easy first though to hone your green thumb.
Such as spaghetti cultivation.

 

[DrGreg]

Why does pirate have a parrot on his shoulder?

Why does the parrot keep saying "Pieces of Seven! Pieces of Seven!"?

Spoiler

It's a parity error.

 

[Klystron]

I do not know much Pirate and Parrot humor but I am expert in Elephant.

What do you call Batman and Robin after they tangle with arch-nemesis Elephant?

Spoiler: Dynamic Duo vs. Elephant

Flatman and Ribbon

How do you train your pet elephant not to jump in your lap?

Spoiler: Elephant training

No idea but do NOT sit next to me!

Which Libertarian philosopher wears knee socks, loves young students, and weighs a ton?

Spoiler: Foutainhead Fandom

Elephant Rand or Ayn Elephant, whichever is funnier.

 

[256bits]

I am expert in Elephant

I found that the most hilarious.

 

[Steelwolf]

After being told that there were No More Chances, Final, that we kids had to go to bed, even with company over.

My brother bet me a buck that he could get away with one more trip downstairs to bug the adults.

He walked downstairs and asked, in a rather serious tone, as if it really bothered him, and asked "Dad, what do you get when you mix a Rhinoceros with an Elephant.?"

Mom, Dad and Company were all silent looking at him, dad, guardedly said He 'was not sure, what do you think?'

My brother told him "Elephino" and walked away leaving a group of stunned silent adults until my brother had made it all the way back to bed and told me to pay up!

 

[HankDorsett]

what does blues music and family have in common?They both suck

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Steelwolf]

Gotta be careful with them greens, I heard they were Powerful antioxidants. Bacon with salad bits fer sure the way to go, although some radish, baby spinach and fried onions would go good with that, hashbrowns and 4 eyes over easy...and the order of bacon stays right there.

See, one needs to remember that the brain does not run so much on sugars and starch as it does fats and oils, so bacon is brain food!

 

[Klystron]

Did someone mention Elephant?

How do you put high heel shoes on an Elephant?

Spoiler: Elephants wear size (XXL)r^2

Tell her that they make her legs look slender.

A vicar, a monk, and an Elephant walk into a Starbucks.

Spoiler: Hilarity ensues...

"One decaf Latte with whipped cream, one plain tea, plus all the Peanuts in Perth, please!"

 

[nuuskur]

Someone asked me: "Excuse me, do you know what time it is?"
I said "Yes".

 

[jack action]

 

[davenn]

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyses,
dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded,
amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed

 

[davenn]