Collection of Lame Jokes

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In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
  • #6,616
WWGD said:
Double horrible pun in classical music festival:
Going for Baroque. Sebastian is Bach!
Sure you want to brag with your incapability to pronounce "ch" correctly?
 
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  • #6,617
fresh_42 said:
Sure you want to brag with your incapability to pronounce "ch" correctly?
Anything, including mispronouncing for the sake of a (horrible) pun.
 
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  • #6,618
This one is really lame:

Screen Shot 2019-12-06 at 8.04.11 PM.png
 
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  • #6,619
BillTre said:
This one is really lame:

View attachment 253784
We're both torturing sentences just to be punny.
 
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  • #6,620
WWGD said:
We're both torturing sentences just to be punny.
Indeed! Btw. can Americans pronounce Jorge?
 
  • #6,621
fresh_42 said:
Indeed! Btw. can Americans pronounce Jorge?
Probably in different ways. I know (some) Spanish so I would pronounce different than many. Why? Are you meeting with Jorge on your way bach?
 
Last edited:
  • #6,622
I'm asking since the "J" is similar to "ch". I further assume that there are many Bachs as well as many Jorges in the USA. So why doesn't the Bachs work, while the Jorges probably don't change their spanish pronunciation?
 
  • #6,623
Because in English ch is mostly pronounced as a 'k'. But the J is pronounced likeca light g.
 
  • #6,624
BillTre said:
This one is really lame:
I wonder how often it has been copied, translated via screenshot, or encoded differently for other reasons to make the quality that bad.
 
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  • #6,625
WWGD said:
Double horrible pun in classical music festival:
Going for Baroque. Sebastian is Bach!
I don't speak German, but I think the "ch" in "Bach" is pronounced similarly to how the Scots pronounce it in "loch" or how the Welsh pronounce it in "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch".

But back to mispronouncing it in a joke:

I think that Arnold Schwarzenegger has said that, in a future film about composers, he'll be Bach.
 
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  • #6,626
DrGreg said:
I don't speak German, but I think the "ch" in "Bach" is pronounced similarly to how the Scots pronounce it in "loch" or how the Welsh pronounce it in "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch".

But back to mispronouncing it in a joke:

I think that Arnold Schwarzenegger has said that, in a future film about composers, he'll be Bach.
He also did a take on Bill S's 'Omellette': 2B or not 2B .
 
  • #6,627
WWGD said:
Going for Baroque. Sebastian is Bach!
Yeah, gopher baroque!

gopher.jpg
 
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  • #6,628
jtbell said:
Yeah, gopher baroque!

View attachment 253808
AC DC tried a rock version of his music: Sebastian Bach is Back in Black.
 
  • #6,629
Have you noticed that in a symphony's repertoire Bach is more Offenbach than Offenbach is Bach?
 
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  • #6,630
You can trace back Bach's Bachanalia to Offenbach's bachalaureate days.
 
  • #6,631
too funny

Santa Stuck.jpg
 
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  • #6,632
hot chocolate.jpg
 
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  • #6,633
I really love the old Clint Eastwood spaghetti westerns ... never saw the cat in the original tho, hahaha

 
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  • #6,634
davenn said:
I really love the old Clint Eastwood spaghetti westerns ... never saw the cat in the original tho, hahaha
All three characters had the same theme music, one on vox humana, one whistled, and one on harmonica. I've now got it going round in my head on synth-meow.

Meow-eow-eow...

Meow, meow, meow
 
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  • #6,635
This is so cool!

dmr1o7Ne_eEgQhb3Wpnf1ryB-w&_nc_ht=scontent.fymq2-1.jpg
 
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  • #6,637
Mys1RpxJUazKTb2VGr2u9lZxvw&_nc_ht=scontent.fymq2-1.jpg
 
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  • #6,638
jack action said:
.
The French had a few revolutions in the last centuries. The Earth had one revolution per day!
 
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  • #6,639
sailboat fuel.jpg
 
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  • #6,640
I could have posted these in several posts... maybe they should have been in no post at all.

• What did the man say when the bridge fell on him?
_The suspension is killing me._

• Do you have weight loss mantras?
_Fat chants!_

• My tailor is happy to make a new pair of pants for me...
_Or sew it seams._

• A relief map shows...
_Where the restrooms are._

• There was a big paddle sale at the boat store...
_It was quite an oar deal._

• The meaning of opaque is...
_unclear._

• I wasn't going to get a brain transplant...
_But then I changed my mind
 
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  • #6,641
Why don't you see spherical cows working in large corporations?

They're not a good fit for cubicle farms.
 
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  • #6,642
• So what if I don't know the meaning of the word 'apocalypse'?
_It's not like it's the end of the world._
 
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  • #6,643
When I heard that oxygen and magnesium hooked up I was like OMg!
 
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  • #6,644
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus.
"You mean a martini?" the bartender asks.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"
 
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  • #6,645
A neutrino walks into a bar in Tijuana and says,
"Una cerveza por favor."
"No mas", says the bartender.
"Si, un poco", replies the neutrino.

(I don't remember if I've seen this here but it's worth repeating.)
 
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  • #6,646
A neutrino walks through a bar.
 
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  • #6,647
Guy walks into a seafood bar and grill...orders an Old Crow on the rocks. Downs it and complains to the waiter that it was no good, watered down. Asks the waiter if he can swap the empty glass for today's calamari special.
Waiter becomes incensed and escorts the guy to the door, saying "You are denied service for attempting a squid for Crow".
 
  • #6,648
Johnny Yuma said:
Waiter becomes incensed and escorts the guy to the door, saying "You are denied service for attempting a squid for Crow".
I'm peach in the face for shame?
 
  • #6,649
Actually, this sentence is missing on every IKEA building instruction:

"First, drink a glass of wine!"
 
  • #6,650
After President Millard Fillmore died on 8 March 1874 the Whig party decided to display him in his coffin for a few days and hired a well known carpenter, T. Milton Walker to build a suitable frame to hold the heavy and ornate coffin. It went very well and many viewers remarked on the elegant detail and structure of the frame.

Indeed, it was later known as... the bier that made Milt Walker famous
 
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