Collection of Lame Jokes

[WWGD]

I don't care what transvestites do, as long as they don't drag me into it.

 

[WWGD]

Killer plead the court for mercy after killing his mother: "Ladies and gentlemen, please remember, I am
an orphan!"

 

[256bits]

What do you see?
If not a joke, at least it's fun, and amazing.

Spoiler

 

[davenn]

 

[jim mcnamara]

Alternative facts are...
Aversion of the truth.

I used to have a fear of hurdles...
But I got over it.

Did you know they won't be making yardsticks?
Any longer?

 

[mfb]

They don't make yardsticks any longer, but they make meter sticks now. 10% longer.

 

[fresh_42]

DYK that most square yards are much bigger than a square yard?

 

[WWGD]

Harvard is the square root of Harvard Square(d).

 

[mfb]

Which famous place is this: t²?

 

[Ibix]

Which famous place is this: t²?

Spoiler: Hint

$t^2\in\nu_{\mathrm{York}}$

 

[davenn]

 

[mfb]

Spoiler: Hint

$t^2\in\nu_{\mathrm{York}}$

Spoiler

I'm sure York is a class, we can create a new instance:
auto city = new York();

 

[WWGD]

Which famous place is this: t²?

Nefer$t^2$:=Nefert$\cdot$t? It is in Egyp$t^1$.

 

[WWGD]

Dr Kevorkian played the piano, recorded an album:
"Jack Kevorkian: Unplugged"

 

[WWGD]

"Waiter, do you have wild duck?"
"No, but I can really piss off *a chicken for you"?
*Probably means something different in the UK or other Anglo.

 

[fresh_42]

Which famous place is this: t²?

This was an easy one. Here comes a tough (and really lame) one: Which London place is this?

Spoiler

 

[Wrichik Basu]

 

[AlexCaledin]

- because Morons are the (mentally) accelerated "particles"! The universe works as the large moron collider.

 

[DrGreg]

Which famous place is this: t²?

Spoiler: Hint

$t^2\in\nu_{\mathrm{York}}$

Spoiler

But surely that would be $\times^2$ not $t^2$?

 

[Wrichik Basu]

 

[Keith_McClary]

View attachment 254174

And, that's just the public schools.
(Also different in UK speak?)

 

[mfb]

I'm too (continental) European to understand that joke.

(Well, I understand it, but it doesn't apply here)

 

[WWGD]

US kids can be mean. German kids are kinder.

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 254165

Ever hear of administratium?
http://www.mit.edu/people/dmredish/wwwMLRF/links/Humor/Administratium.html

However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, which gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

So my Friend asked, in the toy store, for an Arnold Schwarzenegger Action figure.
Clerk said it was "Aisle B, back".

 

[davenn]

Friend: How many people work at your company ?

Me: About half of them

 

[davenn]

My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

Does anyone know who the heck this Norwegian is I so often hear about these days? He calls himself Lars Krismus.

 

[DrClaude]

Does anyone know who the heck this Norwegian is I so often hear about these days? He calls himself Lars Krismus.

You can see him in this video:

 

[DrGreg]

Does anyone know who the heck this Norwegian is I so often hear about these days? He calls himself Lars Krismus.

Is he a heart surgeon?

 

[fresh_42]

Is he a heart surgeon?

I don't think so, but it seems he will donate his organs.

 

[DaveC426913]

You can see him in this video:

Ha! Your efforts to trick me are wasted. Wasted, I tell you!

I was disqualified from Whamageddon more than a week ago!

 

[davenn]

one for my fellow Star Trek fans