Collection of Lame Jokes

[gmax137]

Thanks @Keith_McClary that one has been bugging me.

 

[Klystron]

Not quite sure what I'm looking at here?

A boot. Sole at bottom right.

I saw the boot with the semi-detached 'waterproof' label but am unsure about the intended humor. Is the joke that a waterproof boot has ben washed up in a gutter? Not intending to beat this to death. I sometimes read comments on sites such as GoComics to help explain jokes and cultural references.

 

[DaveC426913]

I saw the boot with the semi-detached 'waterproof' label but am unsure about the intended humor. Is the joke that a waterproof boot has ben washed up in a gutter?

"Waterproof" boot has been rendered not waterproof - by the failure of the very thing that claims it is waterproof.

Like writing "non-flammable" on a wall - using Phosphorous sulfide.

 

[wrobel]

 

[Frigus]

When just joined physics forums:-
You can ask me any question.
2 days later:-
Sorry sir,I will try to be better.

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[phinds]

View attachment 278559

If you mean to add something to this, you forgot.

 

[davenn]

If you mean to add something to this, you forgot.

I assume you are well aware of how bad it's been in parts of TX over the last week or two
Been quite different to the usual sunny weather

 

[phinds]

Yes

I assume you are well aware of how bad it's been in parts of TX over the last week or two

Yes, that's why I posted this several posts prior to your posting it.

 

[jtbell]

The Minnesota Department of Transportation is having a contest to name eight new snowplows. Here are some of the entries:

Plow Bunyan
Snowbi Wan Kenobi
Mary Tyler More Snow
Edward Blizzardhands
Lake Snowbegone
Plowy McPlowFace

One rejected entry was "Abolish Ice". Too political.

Voting ends on Friday, Feb. 26.

 

[DrGreg]

Reminds me of this sign:

Beware of Evel Knievel

Spoiler: Really?

For those who don't live in countries that use this sign, it really means "Motor vehicles prohibited"

 

[davenn]

we don't have that one here in Oz or NZ

A car with a red slash through it would make more sense and be more understandable

 

[mfb]

A car with a red slash through it would make more sense and be more understandable

Only sports cars!

(Source)

 

[Vanadium 50]

is having a contest to name eight new snowplows.

Good for them. In the words of Ethel Merman, "There's no business like snow business."

 

[Ibix]

Plow Bunyan

Plow Revere? You could fit a speaker that repeats "The snowflakes are coming!".

 

[jtbell]

I wonder how those guys who drive the snowplows get to the snowplows nowadays.

 

[Vanadium 50]

If we're going to do VW ads (real or imagined), it's hard to beat:

If Ted Kennedy drove a Volkswagen, he'd be President today.

 

[jack action]

 

[Ibix]

I once turned a normal diode into an LED by wiring it in the wrong way round so there was a short circuit through it.

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[jtbell]

News from the Red Planet: The Martian Bureau of Investigation and the Department of Home Planet Security have issued a joint alert. All Martians should be on the lookout for alien terrorist drones conducting surveillance of sensitive infrastructure targets.

 

[jack action]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[Keith_McClary]

@phinds You can't spot his Kevlar underpants because of his camouflage suit.

 

[256bits]

Reminds me of the old joke where the woodsman needed a new saw.
Salesman convinced him to buy a chain saw.
A week later the woodsman returned, furious, telling the salesman that he could cut only a cord day with that newfangled saw, not the three the salesman had guaranteed.
Salesman checked the saw saying that there their must be something the matter with it.
He started it up.
Woodsman says, " What's that noise?"

 

[256bits]

Looks like he could be checking the dipstick for his 2-cycle engine.

 

[jack action]

 

[Vanadium 50]

Albania, Albania!
You border on - the - A - dri - atic.
Your land is mostly mountainous.
And your chief export is chrome.

 

[Vanadium 50]

I think not everyone got the reference:

 

[kuruman]

Just in case the mask you're wearing keeps you-know-who away.

 

[fresh_42]

Just in case the mask you're wearing keeps you-know-who away.

View attachment 279089

I have bought a satanizers which I can carry around. Just in case.