Collection of Lame Jokes

[Keith_McClary]

The link given here is broken. Is there somewhere to read spiked math?



Edit: I can use the Wayback Machine:
https://web.archive.org/web/20121003034338/http://spikedmath.com/526.html

 

[Ivan Seeking]

In the first accident of its kind, Richard Branson was injured today in space when he was struck by a hit and run Tesla.

Elon Musk was reportedly heard snickering and muttering "got him".

 

[Ivan Seeking]

The CDC recommended today that people who are not vaccinated or are unattractive, should continue to wear a mask in public.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

View attachment 285867

We are going to need a reeeeeeeally big boat.

 

[jtbell]

"Hey, look at that... a wig for 99 cents."

"Wow, that's a small price toupée!"

 

[Ivan Seeking]

"Hey, look at that... a wig for 99 cents."

"Wow, that's a small price toupée!"

Now you're wigging me out! Why do you have to pay to pee?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I keep thinking Dave must have a really big water bucket.

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

 

[collinsmark]

View attachment 285658

Reminds me of Monty Python's Flying Circus's "Michael Ellis" episode. They did a whole episode dedicated to ants.

 

[WWGD]

 

[strangerep]

View attachment 285931

Hmm,... the middle photo,... isn't that the Qanon Shaman who invaded Congress?

 

[Bandersnatch]

View attachment 285931

The first one comes with a soundtrack:

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I've been really impressed with the guy who cleans toilets in our building. He has a real can do attitude.

 

[DennisN]

Who were the greatest con men in history?

Spoiler

The Egyptians. They had the best pyramid schemes.

 

[jack action]

Apparently, one in five people in the world is Chinese, and they are five people in my family, so it must be one of them.

It's either my mom or my dad.
Or my older brother Colin.
Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu.

But I think it's Colin.

 

[jack action]

 

[DrGreg]

I notice that the floor tiles are oriented to make life easier for the bishop.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[DennisN]

View attachment 286019​

The king and queen at marriage counseling:

 

[fresh_42]

The king and queen at marriage counseling:

View attachment 286023

This can only end up bad! I mean, who in the world thinks that a bishop is even closely a good marriage counselor?

 

[jack action]

This can only end up bad! I mean, who in the world thinks that a bishop is even closely a good marriage counselor?

Hollywood?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

This can only end up bad! I mean, who in the world thinks that a bishop is even closely a good marriage counselor?

My first sex education class was taught by a priest! Even then I knew that didn't make sense.

 

[Jarvis323]

My 100% biodegradable hair ties arrived today.

Spoiler

https://www.forbes.com/sites/davidr...iveries-ends-up-in-the-ocean/?sh=2805a76e63b4

 

[mfb]

This can only end up bad! I mean, who in the world thinks that a bishop is even closely a good marriage counselor?

Often king and queen stay together until the bishop leaves...

 

[fresh_42]

Often king and queen stay together until the bishop leaves...

And another example of clerical oppression!