Collection of Lame Jokes

[jack action]

Paper phone books bring this threat to a whole new level.
Only one can't find them anymore...

So smartphones are the real threat?

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[DennisN]

 

[jtbell]

4:30 - To Be Announced: Sports Non-Event

That might be golf...

It turned out to be a Canadian magazine show about a woman learning how to play hockey, eh.

Then a non-sports non-event: a entertainment magazine show with fast-paced clips of the doings of movie and TV stars.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jack action]

If time is money then technically an ATM is a time machine.

 

[DennisN]

Something for Psychic Forums:

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jack action]

Who picks up guide dog poop?

 

[DennisN]

Can anyone relate to this?

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

View attachment 291137

Cats can be quite persuasive:

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

View attachment 291169

Took me a whole day to get this one

 

[DaveC426913]

Took me a whole day to get this one

 

[phinds]

 

[artis]

Speaking about Italian, this reminds me of the rather current internet meme "My name is Giovanni Giorgio, but everybody calls me - Giorgio"

 

[DennisN]

About Italians; there was a hilarious Italian character in the comedy movie "Spy":

 

[BillTre]

Tis the ghost dog season:

 

[BillTre]

 

[DennisN]

A programmer puts two glasses beside his bed before going to sleep: one with water and one empty.
When his wife inquires as to why, he replies: "The one with water is there in case I wake up at night thirsty."
"How about the other one?", asks the wife, still not getting the point.
"That's in case I wake up at night not feeling thirsty."

 

[sysprog]

Speaking about Italian, this reminds me of the rather current internet meme "My name is Giovanni Giorgio, but everybody calls me - Giorgio"

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/my-name-is-giovanni-giorgio

Youtube: Daft Punk video (opening with Giorgio Moroder narrative) . . .

 

[artis]

Youtube: Daft Punk video (opening with Giorgio Moroder narrative) . . .

Yes I knew this, I am actually a bit of a fan of Daft Punk.
I could make the endless youtube comment that "I was listening to them before the meme" ... :d

 

[jack action]

 

[jtbell]

The oversupply of lawyers is really getting out of hand. One of them is suing Kellogg's for not having enough strawberries in their Strawberry Pop Tarts.

This calls for serious pop tort reform!

 

[jack action]

RIP
BOILED WATER
You will be mist.​

 

[WWGD]

Scottish family has no internet :

The McLachlan's Clan lack access to LAN.

 

[BillTre]

Description of an ad for a backwards clock I found on-line.
Numbers are counterclockwise and the hand move counterclockwise.
The ad text is reversed:

 

[DaveC426913]

Description of an ad for a backwards clock I found on-line.
Numbers are counterclockwise and the hand move counterclockwise.
The ad text is reversed:
View attachment 291260

I just saw one of these backward clocks somewhere (online). Its purpose is ostensibly to be hung on the wall opposite the front hall mirror, where you could see it reflected while getting ready to go out.

 

[jrmichler]

Clock on our living room wall. It's easier for my wife to read - she's dyslexic.

And it gets interesting attention from unsuspecting guests.

 

[jack action]

Description of an ad for a backwards clock I found on-line.
Numbers are counterclockwise and the hand move counterclockwise.
The ad text is reversed:
View attachment 291260

Thank God it still accepts an "AA" battery, even in reverse! But do you have to reverse the polarity, though?

 

[Bystander]

But do you have to reverse the polarity, though?

Or is it the complex conjugate?