Collection of Lame Jokes

[WWGD]

They are becoming more scarce as burials are down and cremations are up.

I remember reading that because of poor planning, some places were running out of space to bury people , and in general.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jtbell]

"Hey, I heard you got fired from the unemployment office."

"Yeah... you know what really sucks about it?"

"No, what?"

"I have to keep on going there."

 

[jack action]

Why can't you own a sick eagle?

Spoiler: Answer

Because it's ill-eagle!

 

[jrmichler]

What's the difference between unlawful and illegal?

Spoiler

Unlawful is against the law, and illegal is a sick bird.

 

[fresh_42]

What's the difference between unlawful and illegal?

Spoiler

Unlawful is against the law, and illegal is a sick bird.

I thought the first one was a radio with broken volume control: un-low-full.

_{... I'm already out of sight ... can't catch me ...}

 

[Keith_McClary]

Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for November 05, 2021​

 

[fresh_42]

 

[valenumr]

A nitrogen atom sits down and a bar. The bartender asks,, "why so blue"? To which the nitrogen atom response, "I think I've lost an electron".

"Are you sure"?
"I'm positive".

 

[phinds]

 

[Wrichik Basu]

 

[Hamiltonian]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

We had Rock on a Croc

Now we have Rock out of Broc

 

[WWGD]

Just wanted to have post # 11111. Meet you at # 22222 around 2037. ( Web will collapse in 2038).

 

[phinds]

Gads, this HAS been a popular thread.

 

[fresh_42]

( Web will collapse in 2038)

Apophis is 2029. What will be in 2038?

 

[phinds]

Apophis is 2029. What will be in 2038?

Try Googling 2038

 

[fresh_42]

Try Googling 2038

Disappointing. I had expected at least something like a 2012 Maya equivalent, not only some nerd computers.

 

[WWGD]

Apophis is 2029. What will be in 2038?

Will run out of space for 32-bit storage of universal/Unix time: Number of seconds since January 1, 1970. After switching to 64-bit storage, problem will be shifted to January 2106.

 

[WWGD]

I had misunderstood 'Apophis' to mean " At The Office" when I first heard about it.

 

[valenumr]

Will run out of space for 32-bit storage of universal/Unix time: Number of seconds since January 1, 1970. After switching to 64-bit storage, problem will be shifted to January 2106.

Is that correct? It's not adding 68 years, it's adding like 4 billion years.

 

[WWGD]

Is that correct? It's not adding 68 years, it's adding like 4 billion years.

My rule of thumb/ back of envelope is: $2^{32}=4294967296$. Then we divide by 2 to get $\pm 2147483648$. There are $31557600$ minutes in a year. The quotient $2147483648/31557600$ is around 68.
Edit: I may be mixing minutes with seconds.

 

[valenumr]

My rule of thumb/ back of envelope is: #2^{32}=4294967296#. Then we divide by 2 to get #\pm 2147483648#. There are #31557600# minutes in a year. The quotient #2147483648/31557600# is around 68.

Yes, but 2^64 is 2^32 * 2^32, not 2^32 + 2^32.

 

[WWGD]

Yes, but 2^64 is 2^32 * 2^32, not 2^32 + 2^32.

Yes, you're right; I read it and didn't double check. I think it is Edit:$18446744073709551616$. But I don't have a Real calculator with me and it's hard to go back-forth in an Android.

 

[valenumr]

Yes, you're right; I read it and didn't double check. I think it is #18446744073509616#. But I don't have a Real calculator with me and it's hard to go back-forth in an Android.

Yeah, approximating 68 as 2^6, it should be roughly 2^38 years.

 

[fresh_42]

Just keep watching mice and dolphins.

 

[WWGD]

Just keep watching mice and dolphins.

And men?

 

[fresh_42]

And men?

No. Maybe with the exception of Slartibartfast.

 

[WWGD]

No. Maybe with the exception of Slartibartfast.

\Whoosh to me. I was just referring to " Of mice and men".

 

[WWGD]

No. Maybe with the exception of Slartibartfast.

Guess I'm one of the few here not a fan of LOTR.

 

[jbriggs444]

Unless the improbability drive has been operating, Tolkien did not write the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

Spoiler

In the Hitchhikers Guide, the Earth turns out to be a gigantic supercomputer that has been tasked with determining the ultimate question. The answer having been previously determined to be "42".

The construction of Earth was undertaken by Slartibartfast who was commissioned by hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional beings whose extrusions into our world are seen as mice.

When Slartibartfast ends a phrase with "of mice..." and Arthur Dent tries to complete it with "and men", Slartibartfast looks at him oddly.

 

[jack action]

When a programmer writes a song:

 

[WWGD]

Unless the improbability drive has been operating, Tolkien did not write the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

Spoiler

In the Hitchhikers Guide, the Earth turns out to be a gigantic supercomputer that has been tasked with determining the ultimate question. The answer having been previously determined to be "42".

The construction of Earth was undertaken by Slartibartfast who was commissioned by hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional beings whose extrusions into our world are seen as mice.

When Slartibartfast ends a phrase with "of mice..." and Arthur Dent tries to complete it with "and men", Slartibartfast looks at him oddly.

Ok, not a sci fi fan; can't really tell them appart.