Collection of Lame Jokes

[phinds]

 

[Oldman too]

Today I learned that Ireland is the richest country in the world...

because its capital has been doublin' every year for the last hundred years.

Is this statement missing context?

 

[Ibix]

Is this statement missing context?

Dublin/doublin'

 

[WWGD]

Today I learned that Ireland is the richest country in the world...

because its capital has been doublin' every year for the last hundred years.

A joke from the days after the 2008 recession/depression. What's the capital of Iceland? Around $2.50.

 

[Oldman too]

Dublin/doublin'

I wasn't aware that there were two Dublin's, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dublin_(barony) / https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dublin I guess it did double. Can doublin'n Dublin be expressed mathematically? just wondering.

 

[Oldman too]

What's the capital of Iceland: Around $2.50.

At current rates, that gives you... about... 257.14 Icelandic Krona!

 

[WWGD]

At current rates, that gives you... about... 257.14 Icelandic Krona!

Seems like an additional few Kronos would be enough for a double shot Espresso.

 

[Oldman too]

Enough for a double shot Espresso.

Hey, I got this round. I'm celebrating my Bearth day.

 

[mfb]

The explanation is wrong.
The check was made out for $.002, which is the amount Randall Munroe was billed for. No amount of explanation on his part got through to the clueless Verizon employee he talked to.
$e^{i\pi} = -1$ is what is written, not $e^{2\pi}$. The explanation for the summation is correct.
The amount of the check is .002 - 1 + 1 = $0.002, or 2/10 of a cent.

Edit: Looks like several people beat me to the punch here.

No one was billed $.002, and Randall Munroe wasn't the Verizon customer.
George Vaccaro was billed $.002 per KB instead of 0.002 cents as advertised. Here is the original story

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[nuuskur]

 

[Oldman too]

 

[mfb]

If a diploid ("2") cell splits in half, it becomes a haploid ("1/2") cell.

2/2 = 1/2 in biology.

No wonder they struggle with these concepts.

 

[DennisN]

Gary Larson's "The Far Side" is a treasure trove of funny comics :

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[DennisN]

 

[artis]

Today I learned that Ireland is the richest country in the world...

because its capital has been doublin' every year for the last hundred years.

There are some in Belfast who might try to dispute this...

 

[Oldman too]

Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar and he doesn’t.

 

[Oldman too]

I have many chemistry jokes, but I’m afraid they won’t get a good reaction...

 

[artis]

I have many chemistry jokes, but I’m afraid they won’t get a good reaction...

On the other hand jokes about nuclear fission only work if enough good ones are concentrated at one spot...

A good stand up comedian on average can reach "prompt comicality" 10-15 mins into his routine, then he "bombs"...

 

[DrGreg]

I have many chemistry jokes, but I’m afraid they won’t get a good reaction...

All the best chemistry puns about noble gases are gone.

 

[pinball1970]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[phinds]

If you are ever feeling particularly ineffectual, remember --- it took 20 years, trillions of dollars, and 4 US presidents to replace the Taliban with ... the Taliban.

 

[phinds]

WAY too close to home:

 

[DaveC426913]

If you are ever feeling particularly ineffectual, remember ---

...there's someone out there whose job it is to install turn signals on BMWs.

 

[artis]

If you are ever feeling particularly ineffectual, remember --- it took 20 years, trillions of dollars, and 4 US presidents to replace the Taliban with ... the Taliban.

I think that is more of a testament to what faith can do.
Faith as such doesn't necessarily have to be for a good cause, as long as a group is fanatical about something it works.

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[jtbell]

Did you know that the Easter Bunny has a side hustle?

'Easter Bunny' listed as prosecutor in hundreds of Iowa court cases (Des Moines Register / Iowa Capital Dispatch)

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 300552

That must be a biofuel-powered car. The driver supplies the fuel.