Collection of Lame Jokes

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In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
  • #12,461
Vin Diesel or as I call him "biofuel" seems to have a look a like living in Thailand

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https://mothership.sg/2022/02/vin-diesel-lookalike-thailand/
I can't wait to see the "2 Fast & 2 Jinping - drifting in Beijing" edition
 
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  • #12,462
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  • #12,464
*now* said:
I know my music and i know my movies but I read that three times before the penny dropped.
 
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  • #12,465
It only "works" if you have no idea how to pronounce "Bach". Here is an example.
The only common sound is the "b".
 
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  • #12,466
mfb said:
It only "works" if you have no idea how to pronounce "Bach". Here is an example.
The only common sound is the "b".
If it wasn't for you I would still be guessing Schwarzenegger's response, and I do know Bach... but I have long forgotten the Terminator.

Here is a joke from me, back when I was younger I learned some German in school, the basics. I knew that schwarz is black in German and "schwarze" means black as for a person, right @mfb ?
And "negger" translates from German as negro.

So for a while back in school I thought of Arnold as some grandson of a influential slave trader or some other white colonizer...:biggrin: until bit later I found out that his surname means a geographical place in Austria...from then on I never translate surnames directly even if they can be translated.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schwarzenegger_(surname)
is a German surname that means person from Schwarzenegg, which is both a village in Switzerland (currently split between the municipalities of Unterlangenegg and Oberlangenegg) and a place in Land Salzburg in Austria.
 
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  • #12,467
artis said:
If it wasn't for you I would still be guessing Schwarzenegger's response, and I do know Bach...
Me, too. I remembered I'll be back but couldn't associate it with any composer. It simply wasn't funny for me.
 
  • #12,468
artis said:
If it wasn't for you I would still be guessing Schwarzenegger's response, and I do know Bach... but I have long forgotten the Terminator.
I had a feeling it was more than just the Terminator where he says it, a quick google…

Commando (1985)
Raw Deal (1986)
Running Man (1987)
Twins (1988)
Total Recall (1990)
Last Action Hero (1993)
The 6th Day (2000)
The Expendables 2 (2012)
 
  • #12,469
Why did Bach walk into the store but then walk out again without buying anything?

Because he realized he was Baroque.

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  • #12,470
pinball1970 said:
Why did Bach walk into the store but then walk out again without buying anything?

Because he realized he was Baroque.
Where is the emoji for running out of the room screaming while holding one's nose?
 
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  • #12,471
These puns are so bad, I'm going to Haydn myself.
 
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  • #12,472
fresh_42 said:
These puns are so bad, I'm going to Haydn myself.
Last one promise

A middle C an F and an Ab walked into a bar.

“sorry” the barman said.

“I'm afraid we don’t serve minors”
1651147590197.png
 
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  • #12,473
9b8b3760a7ad013aa6c2005056a9545d.gif
 
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  • #12,474
Evening news titles
Today: Kremlin insiders disagree with Putin on further war strategy
Tomorrow: Kremlin outsiders...
 
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  • #12,475
X-w5VNF&tn=qlwRRRXk-wq4AuHE&_nc_ht=scontent-muc2-1.jpg
 
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  • #12,476
Screenshot_20220429_165419.png
 
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  • #12,477
20220430_035116.jpg
 
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  • #12,478
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  • #12,479
If A Man Speaks In The Forest.jpg
 
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  • #12,480
My wife says that I would be wrong for being in the forest. :oldeyes:
 
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  • #12,481
Borg said:
My wife says that I would be wrong for being in the forest. :oldeyes:
And besides that, wrong is the default setting by the manufacturer.
 
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  • #12,482
Vanadium 50 said:
I went to see a psychic. She asked me "what seems to be the problem." I replied "you tell me!"
(The above joke was recently posted in a serious thread, not here.)

When I'd booked to see a psychic, she had to cancel due to unforeseen circumstances.
 
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  • #12,483
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  • #12,484
20220423_002244.jpg
 
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  • #12,485
DrGreg said:
(The above joke was recently posted in a serious thread, not here.)

When I'd booked to see a psychic, she had to cancel due to unforeseen circumstances.
Two psychics had an appointment, but they never met.
 
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  • #12,486
Isn't there a Gary Larson cartoon with the First International Psychics Conference? Apparently everything went very well except for a slight tension stemming from the unforeseen faux pas of everyone wearing identical dresses.
 
  • #12,487
Ibix said:
Isn't there a Gary Larson cartoon with the First International Psychics Conference? Apparently everything went very well except for a slight tension stemming from the unforeseen faux pas of everyone wearing identical dresses.
I can just imagine such meet, which gets tiresome, as every other statement is " I knew you were going to say that".
 
  • #12,488
Yes, accordions can be considered to be weapons... :smile:

Accordion Weapon.jpg
 
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  • #12,489
20220430_182824.jpg
 
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  • #12,490
20220430_163945.jpg
 
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  • #12,492
20220501_114358.jpg
 
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  • #12,493
20220430_150654.jpg
 
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  • #12,494
Screenshot_20220501_203255.png


where is it?
 
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  • #12,495
wrobel said:
View attachment 300887

where is it?
Try a reverse look up. The lower right address has a .ru extension.
 

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