Collection of Lame Jokes

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In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
  • #12,531
20220508_200005.jpg
 
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Physics news on Phys.org
  • #12,532
jack action said:
Cute business card:
piano-jpg.jpg

Sorry, can't find the "any" key.
 
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  • #12,533
WWGD said:
When you leave the strawberries in the fridge for too long:
View attachment 301216
One of my dad's mates was like that. His surname was Bush, and he kinda did look like one...
 
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  • #12,535
berkeman said:
Found this in my Facebook feed today. Some of them are pretty funny :smile:
"The Black Eyed Peas can sing us a tune but the Chick Peas can only hummus one"

Ouch. 😁
 
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  • #12,536
Ibix said:
One of my dad's mates was like that. His surname was Bush, and he kinda did look like one...
And he probably did not like people who "beat around the bush" ...
 
  • #12,537
I found a little poem that originated some time after Einstein introduced relativity

"
There was a young lady named Bright
Whose speed was far faster than light;
She set out one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.
"
 
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  • #12,538
There is a weird anti-limerick:

There was a young man from St Bees
Who was stung on the arm by a wasp.
When asked "Does it hurt?"
He replied "No it doesn't;
I'm so glad it wasn't a hornet."
 
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  • #12,539
There once was a man
from Cork, who got limericks
and haikus confused
 
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  • #12,540
20220508_195830.jpg
 
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  • #12,541
20220507_142602.jpg
 
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  • #12,542
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  • #12,543
DaveC426913 said:
*sigh* It took me longer than I'm proud of to get this.
You know what FORD stands for right?
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road Dead
 
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  • #12,544
Borg said:
You know what FORD stands for right?
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road Dead
Reminiscent of FIAT
Fix It Again Tony
 
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  • #12,545
Borg said:
You know what FORD stands for right?
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road Dead
Our Ford joke is less nasty. But it plays with words, hence cannot be translated.
 
  • #12,547
Two Bucks.jpg


Dogs - Night of the Living Nailclippers.jpg
 
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  • #12,548
fresh_42 said:
Our Ford joke is less nasty. But it plays with words, hence cannot be translated.
But basically Nein Fahrvernugen.
 
  • #12,549
WWGD said:
But basically Nein Fahrvernugen.
I had a Ford Fiesta during university and can't complain. At 100 mph it started to rattle, but otherwise, it was ok.
 
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  • #12,550
fresh_42 said:
I had a Ford Fiesta during university and can't complain. At 100 mph it started to rattle, but otherwise, it was ok.
Guess you couldn't take it out into the Autobahn.. I had a Saturn at one point. No complaints either.
 
  • #12,551
Three more:

Ole Bull.png


Tree Age.png


Space.png
 
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  • #12,553
WWGD said:
What do the numbers measure/stand for?
Number of breakdowns in 2022 per 1,000 registered cars. The year denotes the first registration year.
 
  • #12,554
WWGD said:
What do the numbers measure/stand for?
Sheesh! Didn't you read his link?

In der Pannenstatistik-Tabelle finden Sie alle gewerteten Modellreihen, alphabetisch sortiert und in Fahrzeugklassen eingeteilt. Hinweis: Wenn Sie auf einen der Umschaltpfeile am Kopf der Tabelle klicken, bekommen Sie die jeweils nächste Fahrzeugklasse angezeigt. Die Bewertung der Pannenhäufigkeit folgt dem Farbschema Dunkelgrün (= sehr niedrig ) bis Rot (= sehr hoch).

:wink:
 
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  • #12,555
berkeman said:
Sheesh! Didn't you read his link?
:wink:
Chrome plus right-click "Translate to English" works fine! :cool:
 
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  • #12,556
fresh_42 said:
Chrome plus right-click "Translate to English" works fine! :cool:
TIL ! :smile:
 
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  • #12,557
berkeman said:
TIL ! :smile:
It probably won't win a prize for eloquent expressions, but it is not bad. And the more formulas and numbers a page has, the better the translation. I sometimes use it in case I find a German Wikipedia page better than the English version since I'm usually too lazy to translate it. It delivers 90% of the work and I only have to correct the mistakes. It multiplies the number of available pages enormously. But I admit that German and English are not that different, so the results are normally good enough.
 
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  • #12,558
It's interesting that Firefox does not have such a convenient mechanism, but I guess since Chrome and Google Translate are related by <a large corporation named for a large number>, it makes sense to have that level of integration.
 
  • #12,559
berkeman said:
It's interesting that Firefox does not have such a convenient mechanism, but I guess since Chrome and Google Translate are related by <a large corporation named for a large number>, it makes sense to have that level of integration.
Yes, I have a similar suspicion.

I don't like the memory management in FF. Chrome splits into various threads whereas FF piles up in one. I hate to say it, but big <insert a company or branch of your choice> isn't automatically evil.
 
  • #12,560
Screen Shot 2022-05-10 at 11.51.50 AM.png
 
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  • #12,561
Screen Shot 2022-05-10 at 1.46.52 PM.png
 
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  • #12,562
fresh_42 said:
Our Ford joke is less nasty. But it plays with words, hence cannot be translated.
Why have I never heard of "Für Ossis reicht das" before?
("Good enough for people in/from East Germany", although the translation loses some of the meaning)
 
  • #12,563
mfb said:
Why have I never heard of "Für Ossis reicht das" before?
("Good enough for people in/from East Germany", although the translation loses some of the meaning)
Mine goes:

"What is the oldest car in the world?"
"A Ford. In der Bibel steht, Adam und Eva trieben es in einem Ford."
 
  • #12,564
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  • #12,565
Middle ages. Two fortresses are fighting each other. The first one shoots a cannonball. The second one shoots. The first one shoots. The fighting stops. The second fortress sends a negotiator to ask: why have we stopped fighting? The first one answers: you have got the cannonball.
 
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