Collection of Lame Jokes

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In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
  • #1,331
Did you hear the one about the broken pencil?

Never mind, it is pointless...
 
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  • #1,332
cobalt124 said:
Lame Shakespeare Quote:

"Tubby, or not tubby. Fat is the question".

Lame landlord joke:

(after showing apartment 2B to a prospective tenant)

"Come on, Mr. Shakespeare, make up your mind! 2B or not 2B, that is the question."
 
  • #1,333
jtbell said:
Lame landlord joke:

(after showing apartment 2B to a prospective tenant)

"Come on, Mr. Shakespeare, make up your mind! 2B or not 2B, that is the question."

Ah, but if 2B or not 2B is the answer, then what is the question?
















What's the square root of 4B^2?
 
  • #1,334
IMP said:
Did you hear the one about the broken pencil?

Never mind, it is pointless...


:smile:
Took me a while to get it though. :shy:
 
  • #1,335
If a zombie became president how would he travel?

He'd use Scare Force One.

--------

Gansta 1: I interrogate my prisoners, then kill them.
Gansta 2: I kill first ask questions later.
Gansta 3: I kill.

--------

EDIT

A supervillian president would fly on Lair Force One.

A fruit president would fly on Pear Force One.

A grizzly? Bear Force One.

An uncommon person? Rare Force One.

A stunt actor? Dare Force One.

A Care Bear? Care Force One.
Ok, that's scary. Forget that one.

A president with an unknown location? Where Force One.

Someone furry? Hair Force One.
 
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  • #1,336
BobG said:
Ah, but if 2B or not 2B is the answer, then what is the question?

:smile:
 
  • #1,337
IMP said:
Did you hear the one about the broken pencil?

Never mind, it is pointless...
Did you hear the one about the airplane? Never mind, it's over your head.
2b V ~2b = ?
TB or not TB. That is congestion. Consuption be done about it?
 
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  • #1,338
My math prof. back in the 90's used to start his lectures with an update of his marital life, and slipped it in one day during a lecture on limits.

"Is there anything worse than dividing by zero?
Marrying the wrong person.
But in mathematics, no."
 
  • #1,339
Q: How did the pig feel after losing its voice?
A: Disgruntled.

- The New York Times crossword
 
  • #1,340
PF SAS - Parrot Freedom Security And Safety
 
  • #1,341
FtlIsAwesome said:
PF SAS - Parrot Freedom Security And Safety

:smile: LOLOLOLlololll
 
  • #1,342
Jimmy Snyder said:
TB or not TB. That is congestion. Consuption be done about it?

Yeah, that one? It was painful, let me tell you.



:biggrin:
 
  • #1,343
Even though the Birthers have been given their long-form BC, the conspiracy theories continue as the basis for the After-Birthers movement.
 
  • #1,344
Ivan Seeking said:
After-Birthers movement.

Aren't they called Educaters now?
 
  • #1,345
[PLAIN]https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/227017_10150170088106821_176141556820_7233579_766752_n.jpg
 
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  • #1,346
Borek said:
[PLAIN]https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/227017_10150170088106821_176141556820_7233579_766752_n.jpg[/QUOTE]
:smile:
Correction:
3: name.xml
4: ssn.xml
5: password.xml

For those who don't know what this refers to:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/gamesblog/2011/apr/27/psn-security-advice"
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #1,347
FtlIsAwesome said:
If a zombie became president how would he travel?

He'd use Scare Force One.

--------

Gansta 1: I interrogate my prisoners, then kill them.
Gansta 2: I kill first ask questions later.
Gansta 3: I kill.

--------

EDIT

A supervillian president would fly on Lair Force One.

A fruit president would fly on Pear Force One.

A grizzly? Bear Force One.

An uncommon person? Rare Force One.

A stunt actor? Dare Force One.

A Care Bear? Care Force One.
Ok, that's scary. Forget that one.

A president with an unknown location? Where Force One.

Someone furry? Hair Force One.

lool, You just don't know when to quit...:smile:
 
  • #1,348
Isaacsname said:
lool, You just don't know when to quit...:smile:
What does "quit" mean?
------

What do aerospace and geometry zombies say?

" Plllaaaannneeeesss "

------

Don't name your horse Charlie.
You'll get a charlie-horse.

------

Astronaut: I've been to Saturn and back!
Skeptic: What are trying to pull now?
Astronaut: Some more gee's.
 
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  • #1,349
FtlIsAwesome said:
What does "quit" mean?

It means I saw it first :devil:
:-p ok ok I'll stop now...
 
  • #1,350
Borek said:
Aren't they called Educaters now?

By that logic, the Birthers were all pediatricians.
 
  • #1,351
stop me if you've herd this one... how is the enterprise like toilet paper? they go to uranus and wipe out klingons.
 
  • #1,352
FtlIsAwesome said:
What does "quit" mean?



------

What do aerospace and geometry zombies say?

" Plllaaaannneeeesss "

------

Don't name your horse Charlie.
You'll get a charlie-horse.

------

Astronaut: I've been to Saturn and back!
Skeptic: What are trying to pull now?
Astronaut: Some more gee's.

k...how 'bout Humphrey Bogart as a zombie ?

Daaaammmmeeessss

:bugeye:
 
  • #1,353
A Feynman zombie ?

Path Integraaaaaaals
 
  • #1,354
Isaacsname said:
A Feynman zombie ?

Path Integraaaaaaals

Monty Python zombies?
Wankel Rotary Eeeeeeeeengines

Wait. Maybe there's a limit.
 
  • #1,355
DaveC426913 said:
Monty Python zombies?
Wankel Rotary Eeeeeeeeengines

Wait. Maybe there's a limit.

Only if you define it :rolleyes:
 
  • #1,356
Isaacsname said:
A Feynman zombie ?

Path Integraaaaaaals

Or playing the bongos: bonk........bonk........bonk.......bonk........bonk.........
 
  • #1,357
jtbell said:
Or playing the bongos: bonk........bonk........bonk.......bonk........bonk.........

Hahaha. Seriously.

I know he would have laughed at that. Listening to Susskind's TED talk about Feynman makes me wish I could have met him.
 
  • #1,358
DaveC426913 said:
Wait. Maybe there's a limit.
This is Lame Jokes. There is no limit.
 
  • #1,359
FtlIsAwesome said:
This is Lame Jokes. There is no limit.

Sure there is a limit: good jokes :smile:
 
  • #1,360
micromass said:
Sure there is a limit: good jokes :smile:

As we all know, it's just a matter of bad taste...errr...good taste...no...wait...:eek:
 
  • #1,361
Isaacsname said:
As we all know, it's just a matter of bad taste...errr...good taste...no...wait...:eek:
ehehe.
 
  • #1,362
The key is to make sure [itex]\forall jokes \in thread: |good joke - joke| \not< \varepsilon[/itex].
 
  • #1,363
You know, a police officer actually complimented me on my driving today. He left a little note on my windshield, it said "Parking Fine".

So that was nice.
 
  • #1,364
IMP said:
You know, a police officer actually complimented me on my driving today. He left a little note on my windshield, it said "Parking Fine".

So that was nice.

:smile: Oh nice...sooooo lame...!
 
  • #1,365
This thread is so lame.
Lame, I'm telling you, lame!
Insanely, crazily, stupendously lame!
Terrificly, gigantically, stellarly lame!
Ok, I should stop now.
Because I'm getting lame.
Really, really, lame.
Yeah, I'm getting lame.
Did I say lame?
Ok, ok, I better stop now.
Or it'll get even more lame--
 

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