Collection of Lame Jokes

[phinds]

 

[DennisN]

Reminds me of Nero .... Fiddled whilst Rome burned

Which reminded me about the CD/DVD burning software "Nero Burning ROM" which has a hilarious icon (a picture of Colosseum on fire):

I've successfully burnt countless of discs using that software, without having to fiddle with it.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[dextercioby]

Man gotta point here:

 

[fresh_42]

Man gotta point here: View attachment 318004

I smell a conspiracy between Riemann and Daimler!

 

[Ibix]

I smell a conspiracy between Riemann and Daimler!

The Daimler bendz, you say?

 

[Orodruin]

Oh lord! Won't you fix my, Mercedes that bends?

 

[256bits]

That got me thinking too.
Just like nature abhors a vacuum, the natural tendency of a car tire is to go flat - and where else but where it is touching the flat earth.

 

[fresh_42]

(Christmas Sale Photos from € 40 on.)

 

[phinds]

 

[DennisN]

 

[Borg]

So that would be a Paiñata?

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 317990

You missed the ones in New York, Ohio and South Carolina... at least.

 

[jtbell]

You've probably heard of cherry tomatoes... how about these?

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 318008

(Christmas Sale Photos from € 40 on.)

Oh wait, are those speed cameras?

 

[phinds]

 

[Bystander]

You've probably heard of cherry tomatoes... how about these?

View attachment 318052

Yes; so what's the joke/gag/humor? They've been in the stores around here (CO) the last five, maybe ten years.

 

[Swamp Thing]

View attachment 317990

Right at the lower right corner where it says the Bahamas, I thought for a moment it was The Barbarians.

 

[256bits]

Yes; so what's the joke/gag/humor? They've been in the stores around here (CO) the last five, maybe ten years.

never seen them till now.

I thought it was cute labeling.
Salad Tomatoes --> Lettuce Out.
Sweet --> with a picture of a bee ( are they honey sweet, maybe )
Cherubs --> Heavenly, with green angel wings

 

[gmax137]

Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

Why do we call them "buildings?" Once they're done, we should call them "builts."

 

[256bits]

And doctors graduate, and they spend the rest of their whole life practicing.

 

[Quester]

Pedestrian A rolled into a gutter after being struck by an automobile.
Pedestrian B came along, looked down at Pedestrian A and asked, "Say there, have an accident?"
Pedestrian A replied, "No, thanks, just had one!"

 

[DennisN]

 

[BillTre]

 

[davenn]

 

[phinds]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 318091

Context: Baldrick invents a time machine by accident and Blackadder goes back in time to (among other things) get Shakespeare's signature.

 

[jack action]

 

[davenn]

A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses five feet to the right.
The statistician yells "We got 'em!”

 

[Ibix]

The statistician yells "We got 'em!”

That's just mean...

 

[fresh_42]

That's just mean...

Indeed! The chemist did that on purpose!

 

[256bits]

That's just mean...

Just an average day for hunting.