- #14,141
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Seems legit.
Collection of Lame Jokes
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In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
- #14,142
DennisN
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- #14,144
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How can you eat with that?
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Punk's not dead.
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WHEN THE TROUBLE STARTED:
While we were in bed, my wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire I turned to her and said "would you like to have sex?" She said "no" so I asked her "Is that your final answer?". She said "yes" so I said "I'd like to phone a friend." And that's ...
My wife and I were at a restaurant. Since my wife was still looking at her menu the waiter asked me first what I would like. I said I'd like to have the rib steak, raw. He asked me if I wasn't worried about mad cow and I said no, she can order for herself. And that's when ...
My wife and I were at her high school reunion and she kept staring at a drunk who was sitting alone at the next table. I asked here what the deal was with him and she explained that he was her boyfriend in high school and that when she broke it off with him he got drunk and she had heard that he had stayed drunk ever since. Wow, I said, who whould have thought that someone could celebrate constantly for so long? And that's when ...
My wife sat down next to me as I was watching TV and she asked what was on the TV. Dust, I said. And that's when ...
My wife was in the bedroom naked, looking at herself in the full length mirror and she said that she felt dumpy and ugly and really needed me to give her a compliment. You're eyesight is really good, I said. And that's when ...
I rear-ended a car today, as the start of a really bad day. The guy in the other car got out and he was a dwarf. He gave me a stern look and said "I am NOT happy". I said, "So, which one are you?" And that's when ...
While we were in bed, my wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire I turned to her and said "would you like to have sex?" She said "no" so I asked her "Is that your final answer?". She said "yes" so I said "I'd like to phone a friend." And that's ...
My wife and I were at a restaurant. Since my wife was still looking at her menu the waiter asked me first what I would like. I said I'd like to have the rib steak, raw. He asked me if I wasn't worried about mad cow and I said no, she can order for herself. And that's when ...
My wife and I were at her high school reunion and she kept staring at a drunk who was sitting alone at the next table. I asked here what the deal was with him and she explained that he was her boyfriend in high school and that when she broke it off with him he got drunk and she had heard that he had stayed drunk ever since. Wow, I said, who whould have thought that someone could celebrate constantly for so long? And that's when ...
My wife sat down next to me as I was watching TV and she asked what was on the TV. Dust, I said. And that's when ...
My wife was in the bedroom naked, looking at herself in the full length mirror and she said that she felt dumpy and ugly and really needed me to give her a compliment. You're eyesight is really good, I said. And that's when ...
I rear-ended a car today, as the start of a really bad day. The guy in the other car got out and he was a dwarf. He gave me a stern look and said "I am NOT happy". I said, "So, which one are you?" And that's when ...
- #14,148
DennisN
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It was an elephantastic joke!fresh_42 said:
- #14,149
DennisN
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Some signs in Chinglish to lighten up the day...
- #14,150
DrClaude
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It's still storing those numbers...davenn said:
- #14,151
WWGD
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In the UK, right after a bombing. Look at the guy in the lower right
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So? We call that instinct.WWGD said:
- #14,153
DennisN
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Poor door... 
- #14,154
Ibix
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Similar to the "disabled toilets", which always seemed a bit pointless if you read the sign literally. I notice they're now usually labelled "accessible toilets", although I don't think that's solely a reaction to grammatical ambiguity...DennisN said:
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And in the other direction, it turns into our time museum.phinds said:
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- #14,158
Ibix
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Another I think I've told before, but we lived in Brunei for a few months in the 1980s. Every restaurant that served alcohol had a (legally mandated, I guess) sign in Malay and English saying "Muslims are restricted to drinking alcohol in this restaurant". At least that's what the English said - I presume the Malay text said the exact opposite...DennisN said:
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- #14,161
WWGD
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- #14,162
WWGD
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- #14,163
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- #14,164
pinball1970
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To be fair you are not supposed to leave glasses lying around in the city center.WWGD said:
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- #14,166
Ibix
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So a week later they're still there?phinds said:
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pinball1970
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They were requesitioned. It's what they would have wanted.Ibix said:
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JT Smith
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- #14,170
davenn
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phinds said:
I resemble that remark
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- #14,172
Borg
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Break room at Twitter.
- #14,173
davenn
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- #14,174
davenn
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Borg said:
Reminds me of Nero .... Fiddled whilst Rome burned
- #14,175
Borg
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It's a modification of this comic that's become a meme in its own right.
https://www.theverge.com/2016/5/5/11592622/this-is-fine-meme-comic
https://www.theverge.com/2016/5/5/11592622/this-is-fine-meme-comic