Collection of Lame Jokes

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In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
  • #14,141
Seems legit.

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Physics news on Phys.org
  • #14,142
Window or Tea.jpg
 
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  • #14,143
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  • #14,144
1669564487967.png
 
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  • #14,145
How can you eat with that?

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  • #14,146
Punk's not dead.
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  • #14,147
WHEN THE TROUBLE STARTED:

While we were in bed, my wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire I turned to her and said "would you like to have sex?" She said "no" so I asked her "Is that your final answer?". She said "yes" so I said "I'd like to phone a friend." And that's ...

My wife and I were at a restaurant. Since my wife was still looking at her menu the waiter asked me first what I would like. I said I'd like to have the rib steak, raw. He asked me if I wasn't worried about mad cow and I said no, she can order for herself. And that's when ...

My wife and I were at her high school reunion and she kept staring at a drunk who was sitting alone at the next table. I asked here what the deal was with him and she explained that he was her boyfriend in high school and that when she broke it off with him he got drunk and she had heard that he had stayed drunk ever since. Wow, I said, who whould have thought that someone could celebrate constantly for so long? And that's when ...

My wife sat down next to me as I was watching TV and she asked what was on the TV. Dust, I said. And that's when ...

My wife was in the bedroom naked, looking at herself in the full length mirror and she said that she felt dumpy and ugly and really needed me to give her a compliment. You're eyesight is really good, I said. And that's when ...

I rear-ended a car today, as the start of a really bad day. The guy in the other car got out and he was a dwarf. He gave me a stern look and said "I am NOT happy". I said, "So, which one are you?" And that's when ...
 
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  • #14,148
  • #14,149
Some signs in Chinglish to lighten up the day...

chinglish-7.jpg


jump.jpg


strange-juice.jpg
 
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  • #14,150
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  • #14,151
In the UK, right after a bombing. Look at the guy in the lower right
20221128_101517.jpg
 
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  • #14,152
WWGD said:
In the UK, right after a bombing. Look at the guy in the lower right View attachment 317845
So? We call that instinct.
 
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  • #14,153
Poor door... :frown:

Alarmed door.jpg
 
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  • #14,154
DennisN said:
Poor door... :frown:

View attachment 317846
Similar to the "disabled toilets", which always seemed a bit pointless if you read the sign literally. I notice they're now usually labelled "accessible toilets", although I don't think that's solely a reaction to grammatical ambiguity...
 
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  • #14,155
1669662324799.png
 
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  • #14,157
_nc_ohc=ndE_1XAmXwQAX8ptHLa&_nc_ht=scontent-muc2-1.jpg
 
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  • #14,158
DennisN said:
Some signs in Chinglish to lighten up the day...

View attachment 317813

View attachment 317814

View attachment 317815
Another I think I've told before, but we lived in Brunei for a few months in the 1980s. Every restaurant that served alcohol had a (legally mandated, I guess) sign in Malay and English saying "Muslims are restricted to drinking alcohol in this restaurant". At least that's what the English said - I presume the Malay text said the exact opposite...
 
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  • #14,159
_nc_ohc=v2ZwH31xkkwAX_GRpRI&_nc_ht=scontent-muc2-1.jpg
 
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  • #14,160
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  • #14,161
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  • #14,162
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  • #14,163
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  • #14,164
WWGD said:
In the UK, right after a bombing. Look at the guy in the lower right View attachment 317845
To be fair you are not supposed to leave glasses lying around in the city center.
 
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  • #14,165
1669746987863.png
 
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  • #14,167
Ibix said:
So a week later they're still there?
They were requesitioned. It's what they would have wanted.
 
  • #14,168
R2 D2.jpg
 
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  • #14,169
1669751623182.png
 
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  • #14,170
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  • #14,171
1669800226417.png
 
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  • #14,172
Break room at Twitter.

Twitter-ThisIsFine.jpg
 
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  • #14,173
1669841810382.png
 
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  • #14,174
Borg said:
Break room at Twitter.

View attachment 317960

Reminds me of Nero .... Fiddled whilst Rome burned
 
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