Collection of Lame Jokes

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 321177

I actually LOL'ed at that one. I'm on a train. Got a few weird looks. Perhaps I should tell them the joke...?

 

[dextercioby]

 

[WWGD]

I actually LOL'ed at that one. I'm on a train. Got a few weird looks. Perhaps I should tell them the joke...?

Why not? Wear a helmet, just in case they get an idea ;). Would be ironic if Jagger and team were there.

 

[DennisN]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[phinds]

Tornado Drill​

Friday, we had a tornado drill. The PA announcement said: "This is a tornado drill. Please move quickly away from any and all windows."

Somebody yelled out: "Quick! Get to a DOS prompt."

 

[Ibix]

Tornado Drill​

Friday, we had a tornado drill. The PA announcement said: "This is a tornado drill. Please move quickly away from any and all windows."

Somebody yelled out: "Quick! Get to a DOS prompt."

Red Dwarf had an "abandon ship" alarm with the ship's computer repeating "This is not a drill! This is not a drill! This is a drill! <Plays recording of pneumatic drill> Abandon ship!"

 

[phinds]

Red Dwarf had ...

Gads, hadn't thought about THAT one in a very long time.

 

[BillTre]

 

[Ibix]

I've started a Sarcastics' Club, but I'm having trouble telling if people are really interested in joining or not.

 

[phinds]

I've started a Sarcastics' Club, but I'm having trouble telling if people are really interested in joining or not.

Well, that's better than my procrastinator's club. Lots of people joined but no one every shows up for the meetings.

 

[Ibix]

Well, that's better than my procrastinator's club. Lots of people joined but no one every shows up for the meetings.

The first rule of procrastinators' club is to be written tomorrow.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

 

[fresh_42]

The first rule of procrastinators' club is to be written tomorrow.

I was a member of a Codependency Club but the meeting room was always locked by cochains.

 

[Ibix]

Why did the medium cross the road?

To get to the other side.

 

[fresh_42]

Why did the medium cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Why did a chicken make the first harmonic oscillator?

Because it's always better on the other side.

 

[DrGreg]

I've started a Sarcastics' Club, but I'm having trouble telling if people are really interested in joining or not.

I started a clairvoyance club but had to close it due to unforeseen circumstances.

 

[phinds]

 

[DennisN]

The first rule of procrastinators' club is to be written tomorrow.

I don't mind. I'm too lazy to join the club anyway.

 

[DrGreg]

I've started a Sarcastics' Club, but I'm having trouble telling if people are really interested in joining or not.

I've joined the H G Wells Appreciation Society. I'm looking forward to attending yesterday's meeting.

(That one works for Doctor Who, as well.)

 

[jack action]

I don't mind. I'm too lazy to join the club anyway.

Wow! I'm not lazy!

Procrastination Is Not Laziness​

[...]

What causes procrastination?​

According to Temporal Motivation Theory, the root cause of procrastination includes:

• Low expectations of your competence
• A low value placed on the task
• Difficulties with impulse control
• Lack of an immediate deadline

In other words, procrastination results from perfectionistic concerns about one’s performance, low interest in a task, having several distractions, and no immediate deadline.

 

[DennisN]

Wow! I'm not lazy! ("Procrastination Is Not Laziness")

I was actually aware that procrastination is not laziness.
But I was too lazy to think of something else.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[BillTre]

I was actually aware that procrastination is not laziness.

Its more work to procrastinate than to be lazy.

 

[Borg]

View attachment 321290

LOL @phinds I drive to work very early and I often see more deer than cars. I had three of those near misses one morning this week. One of them caused my coffee to spill on the console. I was watching a deer on the right side of the road but had to slam the breaks on when his two buddies on the left side wanted to join him. Less than a mile later, another deer trotted in front of me again. Definitely keeps me alert during my morning commute.

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

Sir Brave Knight:

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Sir Brave Knight:
View attachment 321345

 

[Ivan Seeking]

View attachment 321276

Don't judge! Some people are just late bloomers.

 

[Jarvis323]

 

[WWGD]

I was a member of a Codependency Club but the meeting room was always locked by cochains.

Cochains? Der Homologie Theorische?

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]