Collection of Lame Jokes

[phinds]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 332095

The webcomic Questionable Content has one of the characters gets kicked between the legs by a combat robot. His speech bubble appears from off the bottom of the panel: "Metal foot... to... mantenna array... pain level... Shatnerian... in... intensity."

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[nuuskur]

I've tried that but not with hot liquid. It sorta kinda works ..

 

[Swamp Thing]

View attachment 332119

A school classmate of mine had the ability to squirt saliva directly out of his salivary gland in a thin stream.

He went to medical college and ended up as a nephrologist, so I don't think he ever had occasion to demonstrate his 'skill' in an interview.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[nsaspook]

https://www.newsweek.com/missing-f3...-us-marines-military-asks-public-help-1827675

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 332150
https://www.newsweek.com/missing-f3...-us-marines-military-asks-public-help-1827675

Reminds me of the Pepsi Harrier incident.

(And the old "I bought a camouflage jacket, now I can't find it" gag.)

 

[nsaspook]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[JT Smith]

 

[JT Smith]

 

[JT Smith]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[256bits]

I don't know where to put this.
Wasn't/ isn't there a cat video thread.
Maybe should go in the kittens thread.

Be forewarned.
all cats grow up to be exactly this.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

A horse goes into a bar and orders a pint.

The bartender says: "You know, you're in here pretty often. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?"

The horse says "I don't think I am ..." and promptly vanishes from existence.

See, this was a joke about Descartes' famous line from philosophy, "I think, therefore I am."

But if I had explained that before the rest of the joke, it would have been putting Descartes before the horse.

 

[JT Smith]

 

[JT Smith]

 

[JT Smith]

 

[Swamp Thing]

 

[berkeman]

From Facebook today:

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[DennisN]

I don't know where to put this.
Wasn't/ isn't there a cat video thread.
Maybe should go in the kittens thread.

Be forewarned.
all cats grow up to be exactly this.

When I played the clip just now with the sound on, one of my cats looked around for a new cat when she heard the "meows" and my other cat came running into this room from the bedroom, looking for a new cat .

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

Letter soup is finally password-protected!​

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DrClaude]

View attachment 332274​

I'm thinking of writing on Insight on how Venn diagrams actually work.

 

[fresh_42]

I'm thinking of writing on Insight on how Venn diagrams actually work.

I once tutored a granny who wanted to learn it so that she could help her grandchildren with homework.