Collection of Lame Jokes

[WWGD]

View attachment 340395

" You don't know Jack's "

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

Actually they breath through trachea.

 

[jack action]

A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stonewall, holding hands, gazing out over the loch.
For several minutes they sat silently then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin'... perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss."

The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed.

The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.

Minutes passed and the girl spoke again "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's noo aboot time for a wee cuddle."

The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few then he blushed and the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.

After a while, she again said, "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time you let me put my hand on your leg."

The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her knee then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch before the girl spoke again.

"Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."

The young man glanced down with a furled brow "Well, noo," he said, "my thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time.'

"Really?" said the lass in a whisper, filled with anticipation.

"Aye," said the lad, nodding.

The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request.

Then he said, "Dae ye nae think it's aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?"

 

[nsaspook]

 

[davenn]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 340569

Happens once every six months.

 

[BillTre]

Its President's Day:

 

[dextercioby]

 

[Orodruin]

This reminded me of the following oldie goldie:

A constant and $e^x$ were out walking when they spotted a differential operator in the distance.
- Oh no! exclaimed the constant. That differential operator will kill me!
- Fear not! said $e^x$. Stand next to me and I will protect you!
As the differential operator approached, they both declared themselves in unison:
- Hello, differential operator! We are constant $e^x$, pleased to meet you!
- Hello, constant $e^x$! I am $\partial/\partial y$.

 

[BillTre]

 

[Orodruin]

What is a four letter word with a small laugh in the middle.

 

[Ibix]

What is a four letter word with a small laugh in the middle.

Go on, tell us then.

 

[phinds]

 

[jbriggs444]

Go on, tell us then.

That is something you will need to discover yourself.

 

[Ibix]

That is something you will need to discover yourself.

But when?

 

[DrGreg]

What is a four letter word with a small laugh in the middle.

That is something you will need to discover yourself.

Who's on first.

 

[Sagittarius A-Star]

But when?

What do you think?

 

[Ibix]

What do you think?

I think if I look in my shed...

 

[Sagittarius A-Star]

I think if I look in my shed...

This makes sense!

 

[Orodruin]

Go on, tell us then.

I just did …

 

[nsaspook]

 

[Ibix]

I just did …

He he he!

 

[nsaspook]

Why you should never wear high heels at work.

 

[Jonathan Scott]

Go on, tell us then.

Note the absence of a question mark. However, it would be clearer with the presence of quote marks.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 340625

Grizzled.

 

[Sagittarius A-Star]

What is a four letter word with a small laugh in the middle.

Note the absence of a question mark. However, it would be clearer with the presence of quote marks.

Yes. @Orodruin used the same trick before. There, a "." was missing at the end of the sentence:

I found that one hillarious because it is a spoof of the order-of-operations questions. Rather clever actually. The answer really is 5!

 

[Ibix]

Note the absence of a question mark. However, it would be clearer with the presence of quote marks.

Go on, tell us then.

He he he!

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]