Collection of Lame Jokes

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In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
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  • #18,587
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and one that was written specifically for me:

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  • #18,588
phinds said:
...COMPLANING I'M FAT
I didn't know Complan was a verb!
 
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  • #18,589
DrGreg said:
I didn't know Complan was a verb!
Jokes don't require proper spelling. That's a well known, longstanding rule that I just made up.
 
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  • #18,590
DrGreg said:
I didn't know Complan was a verb!
Hey, they only had 2 "I"s in their box of letters that day... :wink:
 
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  • #18,592
Well the boy already equated 10 with 10! ... so some part of his brain must have known what that would mean.
 
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  • #18,593
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  • #18,594
Orodruin said:
View attachment 342118

I hope the boy's speech bubble in the third panel doesn't get counted as a wish.
 
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  • #18,595
WWGD said:
View attachment 342106

In the quantum world, if you get scared by the same thing twice, nothing new happens the second time. If you get scared of something else the second time, it's anyone's guess.
 
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  • #18,597
I think I might have seen this here before, but it's worth repeating:
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  • #18,598
I've been letting my hair grow longer and in anticipation of that, I decided to research what was the best shampoo.

I polled 100 women and almost all of them were very strongly of the opinion that I should get the hell out of their shower.
 
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  • #18,599
My son was emphasizing some point or other recently and backed it up by saying that he based it on polling data.

I told him I didn't trust poles because I had taken a pole myself once and all it did was piss off everyone in the tent.

He said I was spelling it wrong. Damn youngster will make up anything to bolster his point.

My revenge will be to give his son lots of sugar and teach him to cuss.
 
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  • #18,601
How many wizards does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what they want to change it to.

(Wow, my iPhone's "predictive text" predicted every word of the answer!)
 
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  • #18,602
Screenshot 2024-03-23 at 1.40.40 PM.png
 
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  • #18,603
Screenshot 2024-03-23 at 1.42.23 PM.png
 
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  • #18,604
1000012309.jpg


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  • #18,605
BillTre said:
View attachment 342233
"Ballet of the Unhatched Chicks" from Mussorgsky's Pictures at an Exhibition:

 
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  • #18,606
jtbell said:
"Ballet of the Unhatched Chicks" from Mussorgsky's Pictures at an Exhibition:


An electronic version of the same piece, by the Japanese electronic music pioneer Isao Tomita.

 
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  • #18,607
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  • #18,608
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  • #18,609
Everyone is a 3D printer.jpg
 
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  • #18,610
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  • #18,612
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  • #18,614
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  • #18,615
Accidentally put my phone in airplane mode.
Got in the car and the door fell off!
 
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  • #18,616
What did the supervisor say to the worker who forgot to install the bolts on the 737?

That's just plane nuts!
 
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  • #18,617
phinds said:
Accidentally put my phone in airplane mode.
Got in the car and the door fell off!
What sound does an airplane door make as it bounces off the ground several times?

Boeiiing! Boeiing! Boeing!
 
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  • #18,618
Orodruin said:
What sound does an airplane door make as it bounces off the ground several times?

Boeiiing! Boeiing! Boeing!
Only if someone is there to hear it.
 
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Screenshot_20240318_212517_Samsung Internet.jpg
 
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  • #18,620
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