Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

Isn't that what nothing does?

Yes, but that man wasn't British who said no-thing. It was an Indian long, long before the British built concentration camps in India. Google says that he said कुछ नहीं.

 

[gmax137]

Isn't that what nothing does?

Nothing does it like zero.

 

[fresh_42]

Nothing does it like zero.

And then there is the American variant that takes it literally:

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-ignition!

Whatever has been there has been ignited and is gone now.
(No idea whether the Russians had a countdown in the sixties.)

 

[jbriggs444]

The first time someone had the idea to name something that wasn't there

Harvey? Is that you?

 

[fresh_42]

Harvey? Is that you?

I only know Mr. Floppy's version.

 

[DrGreg]

The downside of this thought is, that I bet it was an accountant.

I thought accountancy was based on the surreal number system.

 

[phinds]

I thought accountancy was based on the surreal number system.

Depends on whether or not they are honest. If not, then it's based on the imaginary number system.

 

[WWGD]

Isn't that what nothing does?

Not quite. Nothing really matters...to me.*

* Anyway the wind blows.

 

[berkeman]

 

[DrClaude]

And then there is the American variant that takes it literally:

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-ignition!

Is this the case? When Apollo XI lifted off, there was a zero, and ignition is at t - 5 seconds.

 

[Orodruin]

 

[BillTre]

 

[WWGD]

I shaved my head completely for Summer. Now, when I enter a room, I ask: " Did someone rub a lamp twice?".

 

[fresh_42]

Is this the case? When Apollo XI lifted off, there was a zero, and ignition is at t - 5 seconds.

artistic freedom

 

[jack action]

You will never guess it right but you will surely laugh:

https://fb.watch/sEcZwFqjYs/​

 

[nsaspook]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[renormalize]

View attachment 346766

 

[WWGD]

Finally home after a long day. Sofa so good.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Borg]

View attachment 346788

Maybe that's the result of him clawing his owner as he was parking.

 

[phinds]

 

[Ibix]

"Man walks down the street in that poncho, you know he ain't afraid of anythin'."

 

[WWGD]

A priest, an imam, and a rabbit enter a blood bank to donate. The receiving nurse asks for their blood type:

- I am a type-A, says the priest.

- I know I am type-B, says the imam.

The rabbit looks a bit lost and finally stammers:

- I think … I think … I am a type-O

The Taiwanese priest is a Tai pei personality.

 

[WWGD]

My friend Patrick changed his name to Joseph. Now his an expat.

 

[WWGD]

Hey, I want my confocal hyperbola too:

Where can I get one ??!!

 

[fresh_42]

Hey, I want my confocal hyperbola too:
View attachment 346831
Where can I get one ??!!

The question is, to figure out which Aurelius is meant. My proposal:

So look out for the nearest hippobola! Unfortunately, a quick search didn't show any hippobolas under King Julien's reign.

 

[Borg]

 

[fresh_42]

My date said she was going to the bathroom and used the front door.
How stupid can you be?

 

[berkeman]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[davenn]

another day in Phoenix, AZ

 

[davenn]

Wow ...imagine staying up till 9pm

 

[Gifovaco]

Wow ...imagine staying up till 9pm

View attachment 346851

Don't forget the naps, the 'advanced' afternoon delights....

 

[Gifovaco]

another day in Phoenix, AZ
View attachment 346850

We make sure it persists....