Collection of Lame Jokes

[gmax137]

You cannot bake a pie with an approximate amount of flour or sugar.

True, but the temperature and humidity in the kitchen, the size of the eggs, etc. all affect the "correct" proportions. And the specifics of your oven, your altitude, and so on affect how it bakes. So the recipes are approximate starting points only.

All that is not to say I disagree with the advantages of standardized units.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Orodruin]

True, but the temperature and humidity in the kitchen, the size of the eggs, etc. all affect the "correct" proportions. And the specifics of your oven, your altitude, and so on affect how it bakes. So the recipes are approximate starting points only.

All that is not to say I disagree with the advantages of standardized units.

 

[nsaspook]

A Spanish captain of a Navy ship in the 1800s was on Duty as they sailed a scout yells up to the Captain "I see 2 enemy ships on the horizon" The Captain yells out "Bring me my red shirt" his 1st mate asked "Why a red Shirt" The Captain responds "I wear a red Shirt because if I am wounded in battle the men won't see the blood and continue fighting" A week goes by and the Scout yells up to the Captain "I see 20 enemy ships on the horizon" The Captain looks around frantically and yells "BRING ME MY BROWN PANTS"

 

[nsaspook]

That is really helpful, except:

And then someone says: "But an imperial tablespoon is 17.758 ml ..."

You know ... third-grader stuff.

 

[nsaspook]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 347530

I read from a man, many years ago, who shot his computer. They arrested him but I understood him. Profanity isn't insanity, it is a necessity.

 

[fizzchem]

Magnetic hyperthermia by A. C. Fields

 

[berkeman]

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

 

[BillTre]

View attachment 347586

Convention time?
They need a Jurassic Park jeep!

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 340378

If a dog poops in the forest (or a vacant lot) where nobody can smell it, does it still stink?

A few months ago I showed you this sign when it was still new. It appears that since then, some dog has expressed an opinion about it.

 

[nsaspook]

 

[collinsmark]

View attachment 347518