Collection of Lame Jokes

[Mayhem]

 

[phinds]

huh?

 

[Mayhem]

huh?

The joke is that formatting tables in LaTeX is the limiting factor in finishing my master's degree.

 

[TheVinylGuy]

I was at a brewery of wine, meads and ciders the other day. When talking to the bartender I asked
"What did the grape say when it got stood on?"
"Nothing, it just let out a little wine"
She laughed. I told her she can use it and she said she deffo would.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[phinds]

Well, hey ... it's Florida. Very laid back and indifferent to spelling.

 

[fresh_42]

Well, hey ... it's Florida. Very laid back and indifferent to spelling.

Things happen. You start to write and in the middle of the sentence, you start thinking about cottages, or art.

 

[dwarde]

 

[berkeman]

 

[fresh_42]

Common last words of excavator drivers: What idiot laid a gas line here?

 

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]

I'm in a bit of a hurry, but it's about to get exciting!

 

[Orodruin]

I'm in a bit of a hurry, but it's about to get exciting!

View attachment 349191

That attachment links to the PF black hole.

 

[fresh_42]

That attachment links to the PF black hole.

Strange, I am sure it had worked. I corrected it.

 

[jack action]

100 years ago everyone had a horse and only the rich had cars.
Now everyone owns a car and only the rich have horses.

The stables have turned!

 

[pinball1970]

Scottish women pulling their husbands out of the pub.

View attachment 348864

Believe it or not women in the UK do actually like joining their men in the pub, it just varies a bit by location and style.

England.

Scotland

N. Ireland

Southern Ireland.

 

[fresh_42]

Believe it or not women in the UK do actually like joining their men in the pub, it just varies a bit by location and style.

England.
View attachment 349202

Scotland

View attachment 349203

N. Ireland

View attachment 349204


Southern Ireland.

View attachment 349205

I remember drinking with English ladies on a few occasions. Let me put it this way: my Russian training wasn't in vain.

 

[Borg]

Whenever Americans would hear that my wife is Russian, they would often ask if she drinks vodka. It always bugged her to no end until I told her to reply "No, do you drink moonshine?".

 

[fresh_42]

Whenever Americans would hear that my wife is Russian, they would often ask if she drinks vodka. It always bugged her to no end until I told her to reply "No, do you drink moonshine?".

My Russian girlfriend at the time and I ran into a group of Russians celebrating a wedding at a Russian monument in Berlin. I wanted to take a shot offered by the group but she didn't let me. And as far as I remember it was mainly men who drank (a lot) and not women.

 

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[berkeman]

 

[jtbell]

At first sight I missed the "C" and thought, "at least it doesn't say "OLLAGE".

https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/collection-of-lame-jokes.25301/post-7108799

 

[dextercioby]

I hope this level of banter is allowed.

 

[davenn]

View attachment 349231

ahhhh Mike and Joelle ... they have fun FB and instagram channels
a really nice NZ couple

 

[davenn]

No wonder aliens dont want to make contact with us

 

[fresh_42]

Rowing scandal! Rower tests positive for outboard motor!

 

[fresh_42]

A little bit of mortar and paint will do.

 

[BillTre]

Is this a guy on top pushing the wall away with his foot?

 

[BillTre]

 

[jack action]

Is this a guy on top pushing the wall away with his foot?

That's the thing with physics: he might just be bracing himself to push the chimney away.

 

[Orodruin]

 

[renormalize]

View attachment 349389

A triple threat!
CORRECTION: It's a fake.

 

[WWGD]