Collection of Lame Jokes

[WWGD]

View attachment 350388

Reminds me of the " dumb" guy who's boss ( edit)repeatedly offers him a choice between a dime and a quarter . Dumb guy always chooses the dime, while the boss laughs at him each time, calls him a dummy " If I take the quarter, it's over, no more dimes".

 

[pinball1970]

View attachment 350054

they look like a bunch of fun-guys

 

[pinball1970]

When new cars become too expensive for anyone to afford, the world will become a beater place.

and when everyone can afford expensive cars the world will be a Bentley place.

 

[WWGD]

 

[BillTre]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[DaveC426913]

And its brother meme:

 

[berkeman]

 

[phinds]

The guy who invented tetris died last week. When they buried him, all the gravestones around his plot were immediately sucked into the ground.

 

[nsaspook]

 

[phinds]

 

[BillTre]

 

[jtbell]

I saw a postal service van parked next to the campus pond, where the mail carrier was taking her lunch break.

“Are you delivering to the ducks?”

“I sure am! They got bills, too.”

 

[jack action]

View attachment 350541

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[phinds]

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 350594

Shouldn’t they be (at least) triplets? Fish and (at least) two Chips?

 

[DrGreg]

Shouldn’t they be (at least) triplets? Fish and (at least) two Chips?

I thought the integrated circuits that control nuclear reactors were called fission chips.

 

[phinds]

I thought the integrated circuits that control nuclear reactors were called fission chips.

Only in Great Britain

 

[WWGD]

We live of tourists, mostly.

 

[WWGD]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[dwarde]

 

[renormalize]

 

[WWGD]

https://images.app.goo.gl/6p3hUdzyfYK8iHVG7

 

[KingGambit]

A non undisclosure agreement.

Just when I was about to sign an agreement concerning IT procedure, I asked my friend about it.
After reading it she said, ahh, it's nothing. It's just a non undisclosure agreement.
+ A what?? I asked, what the hell is non undisclosure?
- Just like the name implies, it's the opposite of undisclosure
+ And, (as a non English native speaker, I inquired again) what is undisclosure
- Well, it's the opposite of disclosure,
+ Sorry, and disclosure means...?
- It's the opposite of ******

Okay, I'm lost here. Then I just sign the agreement without knowing what's on it.

And then she told me, that's how English works, double negatives, mean positive, and sometimes double negatives can also mean negative, such as: I don't know nothing
But never double positives means negative,

And for that I replied yeah, right!

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

If at first you don't succeed, parachuting may not be your thing.

 

[dwarde]

 

[Orodruin]

View attachment 350661

Missing the target though. Not everyone has a home where you can install a washer and a dryer. An iPhone can be kept in your pocket and the price of the place to put the washer and dryer is significantly more expensive.

 

[DaveC426913]

Missing the target though. Not everyone has a home where you can install a washer and a dryer. An iPhone can be kept in your pocket and the price of the place to put the washer and dryer is significantly more expensive.

Lose the iPhone and they could prolly afford a larger apartment to hold said washer/dryer.

 

[Orodruin]

Lose the iPhone and they could prolly afford a larger apartment to hold said washer/dryer.

Hardly. I remember the times when flat-TVs started replacing the old ones. It used to be said that the extra room needed to put an old TV would cost more than buying a flat-TV ... :P