- #2,696
Enigman
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Erectile dysfunction?jtbell said:
Collection of Lame Jokes
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In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
- #2,697
jtbell
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Why does a hummingbird hum?
Because it doesn't know the words.
Because it doesn't know the words.
- #2,698
PWiz
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I'm cool because I'm 0K.
(Look carefully...)
(Look carefully...)
- #2,699
lisab
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PWiz said:
- #2,700
jtbell
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- #2,701
jtbell
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Who is the head of Teheran's parking enforcement squad?
The I'll-a-tow-yah.
The I'll-a-tow-yah.
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- #2,702
OmCheeto
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You can't run through a campground.
You can only ran.
Because it's past tents.
You can only ran.
Because it's past tents.
- #2,703
lisab
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Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat?
Because if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the boat.
Because if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the boat.
- #2,704
DaveC426913
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Gonna use this one on my next dive. :)lisab said:
- #2,705
OmCheeto
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These are supposed to be lame jokes.DaveC426913 said:
I laughed so hard, picturing people in scuba gear falling forward into the boat.
- #2,706
jtbell
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What did Linda see when she took her cat to the beach on Christmas Eve?
Sandy claws.
- #2,707
PWiz
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Why can't you play dubsteps aboard the ISS?
Because you can't "drop" the bass.
Because you can't "drop" the bass.
- #2,708
OmCheeto
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Rumour hath it, that there ith a ferry at the end of thith avenue.
- #2,709
jtbell
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2th Avenue is the perfect address for a dentist's office.
- #2,710
OCR
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Lol, not bad...jtbell said:
- #2,711
nuuskur
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What is claustrophobia?
It's the fear of closed spaces, like when you are going to the shop for some booze, but are afraid that the shop is closed.
It's the fear of closed spaces, like when you are going to the shop for some booze, but are afraid that the shop is closed.
- #2,712
DaveC426913
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The main function of the propeller on a plane is to cool the pilot.
If the propeller stops, you'll see him start to sweat.
If the propeller stops, you'll see him start to sweat.
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- #2,713
FeDeX_LaTeX
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Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
He worked it out with a pencil.
- #2,714
jtbell
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Have you ever heard of zebra baseball?
Three stripes and you're out.
Three stripes and you're out.
- #2,715
jtbell
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What's the biggest kind of fish in Panama?
Lox.
- #2,716
Isaacsname
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Anybody in here lose a cat ?
- #2,717
Isaacsname
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What do you call a Donkey with three legs ?
A Wonkey
A Wonkey
- #2,718
jtbell
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Where do ghosts, goblins and zombies go for a cruise on Halloween?
The Eerie Canal.
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- #2,719
Isaacsname
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Fair enough, I can see I need to up the... bar
Venus Jupiter and Mars walk into a bar
The bartender says; " why the long face Jupiter ? "
Jupiter turns to the bartender after looking at his compatriots and says; " I've got 63 little ones running circles around me day in day out, which by the way is only about 9 hours. No one ever talks about my rings like they do some other planets. I've had the same red spot on my bottom side for about 350 years, and every planet says " I have an icy cold metal heart "
" Do you have any other brilliant questions ? "
The bartender turns to Mars and Venus and says "I would have guessed it was the elongated orbital period." Venus and Mars both chuckle as Jupiter stares at the bartender with disdain
Venus Jupiter and Mars walk into a bar
The bartender says; " why the long face Jupiter ? "
Jupiter turns to the bartender after looking at his compatriots and says; " I've got 63 little ones running circles around me day in day out, which by the way is only about 9 hours. No one ever talks about my rings like they do some other planets. I've had the same red spot on my bottom side for about 350 years, and every planet says " I have an icy cold metal heart "
" Do you have any other brilliant questions ? "
The bartender turns to Mars and Venus and says "I would have guessed it was the elongated orbital period." Venus and Mars both chuckle as Jupiter stares at the bartender with disdain
- #2,720
DaveC426913
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I walked into a library and asked for a book on Pavlov's Dog and Schrodinger's Cat.
The librarian said "The name rings a bell but I don't know if we have it or not."
The librarian said "The name rings a bell but I don't know if we have it or not."
- #2,721
Isaacsname
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I heard it was Schrodinger's litter box that presented more of a problem
- #2,722
Borg
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Only if he looked.
- #2,723
jtbell
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What kind of music does a zombie banjo band play on Halloween?
Boograss.
- #2,724
Isaacsname
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FeDeX_LaTeX said:
Not half as bad as the mathematician who couldn't make it to the restroom in time
He had to use the floor function
- #2,725
nuuskur
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Jesus christ! :DIsaacsname said:
- #2,726
Isaacsname
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nuuskur said:
told you I'd be back :P
- #2,727
PWiz
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Why can't bicycles stand on their own?
It's because they're two tired.
It's because they're two tired.
- #2,728
PWiz
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Why did the computer crash?
It's driver was going too fast.
It's driver was going too fast.
- #2,729
JorisL
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Some of the high school textbooks around here are called Quark.
So when some other students (teaching degree) were considering ordering a set of those I couldn't help myself.
I had to ask if you could get them separately. They probably didn't get it.
Could've asked if they were in colour now I think about it.
So when some other students (teaching degree) were considering ordering a set of those I couldn't help myself.
I had to ask if you could get them separately. They probably didn't get it.
Could've asked if they were in colour now I think about it.
- #2,730
jtbell
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What do you call a fear of fat men with white beards, wearing red suits?
Claustrophobia