Collection of Lame Jokes

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In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
  • #2,801
What's your wife/hubby?
Super.

What's a scam artist?
Super duper.

A baby?
Super duper pooper.

A dog?
Super duper snooper.

You walking your dog?
Super duper pooper scooper.

A housefly?
Super duper pooper snooper.

:sleep:
 
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  • #2,802
256bits said:
What's your wife/hubby?
Super.

What's a scam artist?
Super duper.

A baby?
Super duper pooper.

A dog?
Super duper snooper.

You walking your dog?
Super duper pooper scooper.

A housefly?
Super duper pooper snooper.

[emoji99]
Haha that's really lame!
 
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  • #2,803
256bits said:
Super duper pooper snooper.
A visitor to the new National Poo Museum.
 
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  • #2,804
41GV4gB8t3L._SX258_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg
 
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  • #2,805
OK. I'm getting grossed out now.?:)
 
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  • #2,806
256bits said:
You walking your dog?
Super duper pooper scooper.
When you accidentally put the stuff in your grocery bag?
Super duper pooper scooper blooper.
 
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  • #2,807
Borg said:
41GV4gB8t3L._SX258_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg
You don't know how to empty the Pooh bowl, do you ?
 
  • #2,808
A waiter asks a blonde:
- Would you like your pizza sliced to 6 or 12 pieces?
- 6 please, I couldn't eat 12
 
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  • #2,809
Heh, the variant around here is about vlaai.
Usually cut in eight but for the small appetite they can slice it in 4 pieces.
 
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  • #2,810
As long as we're telling blonde jokes...

A blonde is celebrating with champagne at a bar and offers to buy a glass for the guy next to her.
"Thanks! What are we celebrating?"
"Glad you asked!" She whips a jigsaw puzzle box out of her purse.
"See this puzzle? It was super hard - but I finished it in only two years! Aren't I smart??"
The guy says "What's so smart about that?"
The blonde is undeterred.
"Look, right here on the box! It says 3+ years."
 
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  • #2,811
4 men walk into a bar, they realize there's only one bar stool...
 
  • #2,812
twiz_ said:
4 men walk into a bar, they realize there's only one bar stool...
I don't get it.
 
  • #2,813
2 others didn't get it either.
 
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  • #2,814
DaveC426913 said:
I don't get it.

...so they flip the 4-legged barstool upside down
 
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  • #2,815
twiz_ said:
...so they flip the 4-legged barstool upside down
:biggrin: bhuhaha
 
  • #2,816
Three tomatoes are walking on the street, Mama tomato, papa tomato and baby tomato. The baby tomato starts to lag behind and papa tomato gets angry. He goes back, squishes the baby tomato and says: catchup!
 
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  • #2,817
twiz_ said:
...so they flip the 4-legged barstool upside down
OK, that was too lame. :rolleyes:
 
  • #2,818
What do you get when someone throws a bottle of omega-3 capsules at you?

Super fish oil injuries.
 
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  • #2,819
I've got everything 0.000001% under control. Or in other words: micro-controlled.
 
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  • #2,820
Psinter said:
I've got everything 0.000001% under control. Or in other words: micro-controlled.
That's 10-8, not 10-6.
 
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  • #2,821
The number of zeros is not in the 0.0001% that is controlled.
 
  • #2,822
DrClaude said:
That's 10-8, not 10-6.
For the sake of me, I don't get it. Is this a lame joke continuation? :oldconfused:
Because this table told me what is micro.
 
  • #2,823
Psinter said:
For the sake of me, I don't get it. Is this a lame joke continuation? :oldconfused:
Because this table told me what is micro.
Ah ha!
That darn % sign will put you off by two orders of magnitude, if you're not careful.

x% = x/100
 
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  • #2,824
OmCheeto said:
Ah ha!
That darn % sign will put you off by two orders of magnitude, if you're not careful.

x% = x/100
Ahaha, now I get it. Thanks!

That was lame, but a good one. :biggrin:
 
  • #2,825
Reminds me of this:

 
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  • #2,826
Hipsters going to love it http://9gag.com/gag/a3Bn8X8?ref=android.s
 
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  • #2,827
A three legged dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw"

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "We have a drink named after you'" The grasshopper responds, "Really? You have a drink called a Murray?"

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?"
 
  • #2,828
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender takes one look and says "What is this, some kind of joke?"

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.
 
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  • #2,829
Ibix said:
A man walks into a bar. Ouch.
lol . . . I like this one a lot ^^
 
  • #2,830
Times New Roman walks into a bar. The barman says "We don't serve your type in here."
 
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  • #2,831
DrGreg said:
Times New Roman walks into a bar. The barman says "We don't serve your type in here."
aaaabeeiiklmmNnnooRrssTtww. The barman says "We don't serve your sort in here either".

Lame enough for ya?
 
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  • #2,832
A sorting algorithm walks into a bar.
It became a br.
It became a
.
 
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  • #2,833
Ibix said:
aaaabeeiiklmmNnnooRrssTtww. The barman says "We don't serve your sort in here either".

Lame enough for ya?
No:-p Two eggs and a piece of toast walk into a bar and the toast says"I'd like to buy my two friends a drink." The bartender says "I'm sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."
 
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  • #2,834
Hurkyl said:
Did you hear the one about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?

This reminded me about why cannibals don't eat comedians...they taste funny
 
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  • #2,835
A salesman walks up the driveway to a farmhouse in the pouring rain at night, knocks on the door, and tells the old farmer:
"My car broke down a mile back. I got it to a garage, but I need a place to stay over night."
The farmer says: "Well, my beautiful young wife passed away recently, and my 4 beautiful daughters have recently moved to the big city, so I've got plenty of beds for you to sleep in."
The salesman turns around and begins walking down the driveway.
The farmer says "Hey where are you going?? I said there's There's plenty of room!"
The salesman calls back: " Yah... I think I've walked into the wrong joke."
 
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