Collection of Lame Jokes

[mfb]

You shouldn't observe entangled mom/dad jokes, they probably want some privacy.

 

[fresh_42]

You shouldn't observe entangled mom/dad jokes, they probably want some privacy.

Well, they have their uncertainties to gain some privacy. Btw is it correct that a joke is only one coordinate of the punchline invariant four yawn-laughter vector?

 

[mfb]

Jokes are certainly not punchline-invariant, they only work with certain punchline frames.

I'm not sure about the vector you propose here.

 

[Fervent Freyja]

"Sending your selfies to NASA because you're a star."

 

[Ketch22]

More true than lame, but fits the thread.

 

[Ibix]

I noticed my salt shaker was empty and the TV remote wasn't working, so I went to the shops, got my items, and went to the checkout. They charged me for salt and battery.

 

[Sophia]

I look at my bank account and I see that I can live very comfortably for the rest of my life.

If I die next week.

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

well after getting out of hospital after a 4 day stay, I am able to get active again on the forums :)

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xlp1/v/t1.0-9/14063896_946605415448761_7616171271803641071_n.jpg?oh=3004a3e48f609143280447e5f6c38682&oe=58581837&__gda__=1480758309_c38b8cbc6f91e1d4754bf0f0f2d7fa1eDave

 

[davenn]

for all us southerners

 

[fresh_42]

for all us southerners

View attachment 104943

Ah, got it!
Spring Break!

 

[davenn]

hahaha brilliant response

 

[rollete]

The FACT that the best source of lame jokes is stand-up comedy should be common sense by now.

For those in doubt, this is not supposed to be a joke.

 

[davenn]

 

[collinsmark]

View attachment 104988

It took me a long time to get that.

 

[Borg]

It took me a long time to get that.

Both of them?

 

[collinsmark]

Both of them?

I swear I was staring at the image in confusion and scratching my head for a full 20 minutes or so. But once I got one, the other followed almost immediately.

 

[Borg]

I swear I was staring at the image in confusion and scratching my head for a full 20 minutes or so. But once I got one, the other followed almost immediately.

I got the guys on the right quickly then started wondering what the left guy was in for.

 

[Bandersnatch]

https://scontent.fwaw3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/q85/s480x480/14021517_999259100186278_181898734541726711_n.jpg?oh=52985048851fb1fed35a0027953fb8cd&oe=585466B6
And before 1905 you could travel faster than light. Those damn scientists.

 

[fresh_42]

And before 1905 you could travel faster than light. Those damn scientists.

Not to forget, until about 250 BC we had a nice flat earth. Then came this sieve guy ...

 

[Ibix]

https://scontent.fwaw3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/q85/s480x480/14021517_999259100186278_181898734541726711_n.jpg?oh=52985048851fb1fed35a0027953fb8cd&oe=585466B6
And before 1905 you could travel faster than light. Those damn scientists.

Actually, everybody was really happy about gravity and inertia because you didn't have to flap along madly to keep up with the Earth anymore. We used to be like sharks, swimming all the time so as not to suffocate.

Also, Newton apparently invented "retro" fashion if he was in that get-up in 1869.

 

[mfb]

Also, Newton apparently invented "retro" fashion if he was in that get-up in 1869.

It is hard to keep up with fashion if you are dead. I guess Newton was buried with whatever was trendy in 1727.

 

[Ibix]

It is hard to keep up with fashion if you are dead. I guess Newton was buried with whatever was trendy in 1727.

Indeed. If, per the picture, he was working in 1869 he must also have invented the intelligent undead trope (as opposed to the animalistic killer sort), indirectly bringing us the Twilight Saga.

By the way, what do vegetarian zombies eat?

Graiiiiiins

(Braaaaaan is also an acceptable answer).

 

[OCR]

Also, Newton apparently invented "retro" fashion...

Indeed, Isaac was, without doubt, a...

 

[davenn]

I think the instructions were lost in translation

 

[mfb]

I thought $\pi$ corresponds to 180 degrees.

 

[jtbell]

Eww, plastic in my pie? No thanks...

 

[davenn]

sounds about right
Husband - wife relationship

 

[OCR]

Husband - wife relationship...

...

 

[Hoophy]

Here's a joke:

 

[OCR]

Here's a joke:

Lol... The Hybrid Air Vehicles HAV 304 / Airlander 10 .

Named the Martha Gwyn after the company chairman's wife, the craft became popularly known as "the flying bum" for "the resemblance its plump front end shares with a human's back end."

 

[OCR]

[COLOR=#black]..[/COLOR]

 

[davenn]

giggle for the day

 

[jedishrfu]

I think the instructions were lost in translation

View attachment 105151

That's for sure, who leaves a protractor in the oven. It'll melt and mess up the cake.

 

[davenn]

That's for sure, who leaves a protractor in the oven. It'll melt and mess up the cake.

The next problem is ... is it 120 C or F