Collection of Lame Jokes

  • Thread starter quddusaliquddus
  • Start date
  • Tags
    Jokes
In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
  • #2,976
Am just putting all jokes in here now, lame or good, seems to get better attention than if I create a separate thread

Electric Ave - no outlet.jpg
 
  • Like
Likes jtbell, collinsmark, OCR and 2 others
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #2,977
davenn said:
The next problem is ... is it 120 C or F :-p

Yeah, I was thinking about that too not that I know anything about baking cakes except maybe a Duncan Hines cake mix with instructions.

I heard one story though of a kid who wanted a vanilla cake but his mom had only a chocolate cake mix so he baked it without the chocolate component and it was a disaster.
 
  • Like
Likes davenn
  • #2,978
Why do they call it a vacuum cleaner? What can be cleaner than a vacuum
 
  • Like
Likes Sophia and davenn
  • #2,979

​
A close call.jpg
 
  • Like
Likes davenn
  • #2,980
  • Like
Likes OCR
  • #2,981
ohhh dear ...

https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/v/t1.0-9/14117934_1155757111151898_2056835796146235837_n.jpg?oh=df823f667c7a9ff6d4cd7fcc4da58975&oe=5844184C&__gda__=1480626293_ee5985d6afbd86dae84ea604db6a7543
 
  • Like
Likes OCR and Borg
  • #2,982
davenn said:
The next problem is ... is it 120 C or F :-p
I think it has to be Kelvin. Firstly, there is no specification, and secondly, the plastic won't melt this way.
 
  • #2,983
mpresic said:
Why do they call it a vacuum cleaner? What can be cleaner than a vacuum
But how can you clean the vacuum then?
 
  • #2,984
mfb said:
But how can you clean the vacuum then?
May I borrow your vacuum cleaner for a day? I'll come fetch it and return it the very next day. I promise!
 
  • Like
Likes hsdrop
  • #2,985
Researchers have now deciphered the recently-discovered "alien signal" from HD 164595:

 
  • Like
Likes davenn and fresh_42
  • #2,986
jtbell said:
Researchers have now deciphered the recently-discovered "alien signal" from HD 164595:

hahaha brilliant.
Gordon Shumway ... Gordo to his mates :smile:D
 
  • #2,987
Why is the Flash always well rested?

Because when he's asleep, he's fast asleep.
 
  • Like
Likes davenn
  • #2,988
In German the word "fast" means almost.
Helps a lot when you go to McDonald's.
 
  • Like
Likes Ibix
  • #2,989
fresh_42 said:
In German the word "fast" means almost.
Don't you just love those false cognates? :eek: German "Gift" = English "poison".
 
  • #2,990
jtbell said:
Don't you just love those false cognates? :eek: German "Gift" = English "poison".
...hmmm, ... whether Troy has something to do with it ... timeo Danaos et dona ferentes ...

But seriously, both come from old versions of to give. As gifted can be said as given (talent). Funny is, that the stuff that brides contribute to their marriage, linen, laces and so, dowry, is called "Mitgift" in German: given along. The word poison is of Latin / French origin, meaning potion - potare - drink. The USSR wasn't the first power that divided the continent. So the only difference is basically whether someone passively gives you poison or you actively drink poison. Not really much of a difference. What always makes me nervous is, that the French have the same word for poison, poison. However, fish is poisson ... Languages are funny.
 
  • Like
Likes davenn
  • #2,991
jtbell said:
Don't you just love those false cognates? :eek: German "Gift" = English "poison".
In Swedish, gift means both poison and married :smile:
 
  • #2,992
upload_2016-9-4_22-3-37.png
 
  • Like
Likes OCR, 1oldman2 and ProfuselyQuarky
  • #2,993
Montana roads repairs.
.png
 
  • Like
Likes CalcNerd, ProfuselyQuarky, OCR and 2 others
  • #2,994
1oldman2 said:
Montana roads repairs.
View attachment 105495
I've found Hollywood (CA), Hollywood (PA) and Hollywood (FL). Hollywood (MT) must be somewhere in this hole though.
 
  • Like
Likes ProfuselyQuarky, OCR, 1oldman2 and 1 other person
  • #2,995
fresh_42 said:
I've found Hollywood (CA), Hollywood (PA) and Hollywood (FL). Hollywood (MT) must be somewhere in this hole though.
This definitely ain't Rodeo Dr. :cool:
 
  • Like
Likes OCR and fresh_42
  • #2,996
1oldman2 said:
This definitely ain't Rodeo Dr. :cool:
There is only one thing that really surprises me. If "a bit" is enough, then I have a good idea what "normal speed" must be. O.K. as living in a country where there isn't a general speed limit (although this isn't true for this kind of roads), I don't have a problem with it. But how in hell will you be able to take the bend in about 200 m down the road? You survive a real marvelous stunt and then a simple turn will kill you?
 
  • Like
Likes 1oldman2
  • #2,997
fresh_42 said:
You survive a real marvelous stunt and then a simple turn will kill you?
It's an art, not a science. :biggrin: However most accidents here usually involve at least one deer.
 
  • Like
Likes OCR
  • #2,998
love it :)

normal and italian DNA.jpg
 
  • Like
Likes DrClaude
  • #2,999
I like this version:

5d018975923dfcec7d7be88414fc71bf.jpg
 
  • Like
Likes Sophia, DrClaude, Ibix and 1 other person
  • #3,000
so true !

upload_2016-9-5_13-55-0.png
 
  • Like
Likes 1oldman2, Ibix and fresh_42
  • #3,001
What do you call a tortilla wrap filled with shaved ice?

A brrr-ito.
 
  • Like
Likes 1oldman2, Ibix and davenn
  • #3,002
jtbell said:
What do you call a tortilla wrap filled with shaved ice?

A brrr-ito.

laughter.gif
 
  • #3,003
... :oldlaugh:
:iseewhatyoudid:
1oldman2 said:
Montana roads repairs.
You " monkeyed " with that sign... didn't you ?

You know it always used to be...

funny_sign_03.jpg


fresh_42 said:
O.K. as living in a country where there isn't a general speed limit...
Unless, you're talking about where you live ?

In Montana, it's 80 mph max on most interstates... it used to be 'reasonable and prudent'... basically, not over 90.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Likes davenn
  • #3,004
OCR said:
Unless, you're talking about where you live ?
Where we (Germans) are going, we don't need speed limits!
 
  • #3,005
davenn said:
View attachment 105509
jtbell said:
What do you call a tortilla wrap filled with shaved ice?

A brrr-ito.
I find that I love a brrr-ito without a wrapper.
 
  • #3,006
1oldman2 said:
This definitely ain't Rodeo Dr. :cool:
If you are going to make this stunt, it automatically becomes Rodeo Dr.. For a brief moment. Then it'll turn into Sunset Blvd. :cool:

Edit: And if you're going to make it, they'll call it walk of fame!
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Likes 1oldman2
  • #3,007
cant win !

https://scontent-syd1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14141578_1111616325540267_3894683967962366438_n.jpg?oh=0d2e4d680cf33c85e3e03f3be287dcef&oe=58843325
 
  • Like
Likes 1oldman2, OCR and fresh_42
  • #3,008
Someone titled a thread "energy-stress-tensor of dust" today.
I only wanted to ask him/her whether his/her frame of reference was male or female.
It's trivial in the first and a singularity in the second. :cool:
 
  • #3,009
  • Like
Likes jim mcnamara, OmCheeto and OCR
  • #3,010

Similar threads

Programming Jokes: Lame, Science & Math Jokes!
12
Replies
412
Views
24K
Reflecting on 47: An SMBC Comic
2
Replies
49
Views
5K
Bad Math Jokes
9
Replies
311
Views
29K
Weird / Interesing science related objects
Replies
7
Views
2K
What does it tell if you can (or can't) get this joke?
Replies
15
Views
4K
What Are Your Favorite Physics Jokes?
Replies
1
Views
2K
Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman! - My Favorite Book
Replies
21
Views
3K
Mini road trip: tigers and goats and bears, oh my
Replies
5
Views
2K
That Will Smith and Chris Rock thing
6
Replies
185
Views
8K
Collection of Science Jokes P2
105
Replies
4K
Views
388K

Hot Threads

Recent Insights

Back
Top