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Paid by a flat rate to lower the hire? Watch out the tire!Ibix said:
Collection of Lame Jokes
- Thread starter quddusaliquddus
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In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
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davenn
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- #3,293
davenn
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I'm sure this will work ... NOT ! 
I just shake my head in disbelief
I just shake my head in disbelief
- #3,294
jtbell
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Zsa Zsa Gabor: "I'm a marvelous housekeeper. Whenever I leave a man, I keep the house."
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davenn
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- #3,296
davenn
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gosh, whoever wrote that last one, needs to learn some punctuation ( wasn't me)
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Ibix
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It is a bit panda packing heat, isn't it? I make it two or three missing commas depending on your attitude to the Oxford comma.
- #3,298
Hugh Parker
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What is green, slimy, and lives in cell phones and CPs? ... I don't know either, but one is crawling out of yours right now.
- #3,299
Hugh Parker
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Did you hear about the butcher who got a little behind in his business?
- #3,300
Hugh Parker
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How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
- #3,301
Hugh Parker
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If you call a dog's tail a leg, how many legs would it have? Four; the tail is still a tail regardless of what you call it.
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Ibix
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I'll tell you next week.Hugh Parker said:
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dkotschessaa
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Hugh Parker said:
WELL WHAT'S THE ANSWER
- #3,304
OmCheeto
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Stavros Kiri said:
Unless he's a Time Lord, I doubt he had anything to do with that.
- #3,305
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Hugh Parker said:
Here it comes: [It is called the "Inductivist Turkey" (one of Russel's paradigm of improper (incomplete) Induction, I think [?])]dkotschessaa said:WELL WHAT'S THE ANSWER
By teaching it Induction method of course!:
Starting Jan 1, every day, give it food say 9am, punctual ... up to 359th day. Guess what happens, once she can now guess the routine, on the 360th day?? ... ...
... Ha, ha, ...
Slayed for Christmass dinner table! (Gross!?)
[A few days from now! ... Happy Holidays!
... lol 
] (all welcome to decode this [chain] ... - any ideas?)- #3,306
DaveC426913
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Ibix said:
- #3,307
DaveC426913
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Too soon, DAHling.jtbell said:
- #3,308
jim mcnamara
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During this time of year why do they serve eggs benedict on a car hub cap?
... because there is no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise
... because there is no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise
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davenn
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davenn
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dedicated to all our northern hemisphere members
have a wonderful and snowy Christmas
have a wonderful and snowy Christmas
- #3,311
Ibix
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Poor thing is going to come down with something - he already looks a little horse.davenn said:dedicated to all our northern hemisphere members
have a wonderful and snowy Christmas
View attachment 110659
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sophiecentaur
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It's "why the long face?" all over again.
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jtbell
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In my part of the northern hemisphere the temperature hit 68F (20C) today. Combine that with the greenhouse effect and I was toasty inside my car with the heater turned off.davenn said:dedicated to all our northern hemisphere members
have a wonderful and snowy Christmas
(OK, about a week ago I was freezing my three-letter pack animal off.)
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DaveC426913
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The days are getting longer! Spring is on its way!
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dkotschessaa
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My neighbors hear good music.
... whether they like it or not.
... whether they like it or not.
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Vegetarian is an old indigenous word meaning bad hunter.
- #3,318
julian
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A seal walks into a club...
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Stavros Kiri
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Two fleas after drinking at the bar: "shall we walk or we take a dog?" ! ...
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DaveC426913
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I ♥ my
I ♠ my
I ♣ my
I ♠ my
I ♣ my
- #3,321
Ibix
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One from a family gathering - a relative of mine is planning not to buy any more shoes. He says they just get under foot all the time.
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dkotschessaa
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Another awesomely bad original from me.
Q. What did the plantain say when it lost it's phone?
A. "Where did mofongo?"
Q. What did the plantain say when it lost it's phone?
A. "Where did mofongo?"
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On the packet with Himalayan salt they printed: 2,000,000 years old and best before 2,019.
Fortunately they've found it in time.
Fortunately they've found it in time.
- #3,324
Ibix
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Scam artists use expired salt to make lamps. That's why they don't cure all your ills - if they used salt before its expiry date...
- #3,325
256bits
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Canned air, is it always fresh, or does it ever go stale.
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