- #3,396
I-Love-Maths2
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what's the fastest food?
Scone
Scone
Collection of Lame Jokes
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In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
- #3,397
DrClaude
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?I-Love-Maths2 said:
- #3,398
I-Love-Maths2
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you can't fail to get that oneDrClaude said:
- #3,399
I-Love-Maths2
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's' gone
- #3,400
DrClaude
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Looking at Merriam-Webster:I-Love-Maths2 said:
I always heard it pronounced the first way, so the joke didn't make sense to me.
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Skål ?DrClaude said:
- #3,402
DrClaude
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Not now, I'm workingfresh_42 said:
- #3,403
mfb
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Ah, the good old "s'gone", "s-cone" discussion. About as good as Alumin(i)um (three archives pages just for the spelling discussion).
- #3,404
jtbell
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When you leave your last breakfast/tea pastry out too long, what do you end up with?
The scone of stone.
The scone of stone.
- #3,405
Ibix
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To be pedantic, that's a third pronunciation of Scone (scoon, more or less) that is not the same as either way of pronouncing the bread thing.jtbell said:
That didn't stop Sir Terry Pratchett writing a whole book based around a legendary dwarvish battle-bread.
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davenn
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- #3,408
AlexCaledin
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Drunkard: "I am not seeing d-double! Here, I see t-two eyes of the cat coming in."
Waiter: "The cat's going out, not in!"
Waiter: "The cat's going out, not in!"
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- #3,409
Stavros Kiri
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Jean Claude van Damme breaks down (with his car) in the middle of nowhere. Finds small house. "Knock knock ..."
(Old man living in:) "who is it?"
"This is Jean Claude van Damme; my car broke down; can I use your phone?"
(Old man:) "Why don't the four of you go back where you came from ! (../to he..l) ..."
(Old man living in:) "who is it?"
"This is Jean Claude van Damme; my car broke down; can I use your phone?"
(Old man:) "Why don't the four of you go back where you came from ! (../to he..l) ..."
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- #3,410
DaveC426913
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I don't get it.Stavros Kiri said:
- #3,411
Stavros Kiri
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"Spoiler" (e.g. for those who don't know the details): Jean Claude van Damme is a famous actor, ... but he is One not 4 people, despite his name! ... [EnumaElish seems to have gotten it ...]DaveC426913 said:I don't get it.
- #3,412
Stavros Kiri
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Toothbrush: "Gee! I think I have the worst job in the world! ..."
Toilet paper: "Yeah right!? ..."
Toilet paper: "Yeah right!? ..."
- #3,413
davenn
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A photon enters a hotel. Clerk asks if he has luggage.
"No. I'm traveling light"
"No. I'm traveling light"
- #3,414
davenn
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MOM ?
- #3,415
davenn
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davenn
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Cognitive thinking...
- #3,417
AlexCaledin
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Man to the barber cutting his hair: Wow, your dog loves to watch your work!
Barber: Oh, that's simply because I often cut off a bit of ear.
Barber: Oh, that's simply because I often cut off a bit of ear.
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A neutron stops at a fire hydrant and along comes an officer.davenn said:
Officer: "Sir, you can't park here. I'll have to charge you."
Neutron: "Please wait. It's only for 15 minutes. After that I'll charge myself."
- #3,419
Stavros Kiri
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Where is the plane now? I want to sue them!davenn said:Cognitive thinking...
- #3,420
jtbell
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Did you hear about the guy who bought an alpaca so he could give his sweetie a nice warm sweater for her birthday?
Then he found out that alpacas don't know how to knit.
Then he found out that alpacas don't know how to knit.
- #3,421
Ibix
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- #3,422
davenn
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this is too funny ! ...
- #3,423
AlexCaledin
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President G.H.W.Bush to Henry Kissinger in 1992: I can't understand what the heck is happening in Russia.
Kissinger: You know, Mr. President, according to the Russian press, Russia is entirely governed by our men. And...
Bush: That's enough. I got it.
(from a fun story in an old Russian newspaper)
Kissinger: You know, Mr. President, according to the Russian press, Russia is entirely governed by our men. And...
Bush: That's enough. I got it.
(from a fun story in an old Russian newspaper)
- #3,424
Stavros Kiri
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Horse: what long face? Yours is small and round! ...enigma said:
- #3,425
Ibix
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My seven year old thinks the baby alien is cute. You can imagine the look on my face when he said that...davenn said:MOM ?
- #3,426
Stavros Kiri
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Did he say it? (Dad ?)Ibix said:
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AlexCaledin
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"What is dementia? My doctor tried explaining but I never got it though he said I did."
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mfb
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Better learn what dementia is before you get it.
- #3,429
EnumaElish
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It sounds like the name of a Latin woman who would blow one's mind off.
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Nope. As far as I remember, this was Incontinentia and she bl... - no I won't write the rest, Brian.EnumaElish said:
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