Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

If you make one out of actual pie, it is a large collection of electrons, protons and neutrons.

The world is made out of $4$ fundamental particles: protons, neutrons, electrons and morons.

 

[AlexCaledin]

Does the world operate as moron collider??

 

[BillTre]

Does the world operate as moron collider??

That might explain a lot of conflicts!

 

[mfb]

Does the world operate as moron collider??

Many, but using that name for them is not politically correct.

 

[BillTre]

Bogs Bunny would use the word "maroon" instead.

 

[DaveC426913]

Nope. As far as I remember, this was Incontinentia

Incontinentia Buttocks.

 

[Ibix]

Incontinentia Buttocks.

She has a husband, you know...

 

[EnumaElish]

But, can it pass the IKEA test?

 

[mfb]

I knew it. The moon landing was a hoax!

The footage was faked on Mars.

 

[davenn]

The footage was faked on Mars.

you didn't see that one at the top of the page ?

 

[davenn]

 

[mfb]

you didn't see that one at the top of the page ?

That?

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[davenn]

That?

yes that

this is too funny ! ...

maybe something weird with your browser ??

 

[DaveC426913]

you didn't see that one at the top of the page ?

I think he meant the moon footage was shot on Mars.

 

[davenn]

I think he meant the moon footage was shot on Mars.

going by his quote it appeared that he didn't see my video

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[Stavros Kiri]

Better learn what dementia is before you get it.

What's the use? He won't remember after anyway ...

 

[mfb]

Things that you learned earlier tend to be available longer.

 

[jtbell]

If Mickey and Minnie ever pass away (perish the thought!), where will they be interred?

In a mousoleum.

 

[fresh_42]

If Mickey and Minnie ever pass away (perish the thought!), where will they be interred?

In a mousoleum.

... and Donald will never see the money bin

 

[davenn]

So True !

 

[Stavros Kiri]

It sounds like the name of a Latin woman who would blow one's mind off.

And she has a grandmother ... Senility ...

 

[phinds]

President Trump was taken on a tour of the Keystone Pipeline area in a small private plane by a friend of his. On his return he commented on how friendly all the waving Native Americans had seemed. “They love me”, he said.

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

... No matter what men do ...

A young Californian skateboarder found a bottle at the beach, picked it up and all of a sudden a Jinn appeared to offer him three wishes.
"Wow", answered the young man, "I want to be rich, beautiful, and ... let's see ... uhh, yes, I want a half-pipe from here to Honolulu."
"O.k.", said the Jinn, "money and beauty aren't a problem, but how on Earth should I build the pipe? Do you have any idea, how much planning, what terrible amount of concrete, unbelievable long piers deep in the ocean and many other things I would need? Not to mention the earthquakes. Come on, pick another wish!" The young man thought about it for a while and replied: "In this case, I want to understand the girls." - "Let's get back to the pipe. Which surface do you want? Is Italian Marble o.k. to you? Do you need some recreation areas along the way ..."

 

[davenn]

A young Californian skateboarder found a bottle at the beach, picked it up and all of a sudden a Jinn appeared to offer him three wishes.
"Wow", answered the young man, "I want to be rich, beautiful, and ... let's see ... uhh, yes, I want a half-pipe from here to Honolulu."
"O.k.", said the Jinn, "money and beauty aren't a problem, but how on Earth should I build the pipe? Do you have any idea, how much planning, what terrible amount of concrete, unbelievable long piers deep in the ocean and many other things I would need? Not to mention the earthquakes. Come on, pick another wish!" The young man thought about it for a while and replied: "In this case, I want to understand the girls." - "Let's get back to the pipe. Which surface do you want? Is Italian Marble o.k. to you? Do you need some recreation areas along the way ..."

hahahaha

 

[jasonwell90]

Where do you find a turtle with no legs?

Right where you left it.

LOL

 

[davenn]

 

[Intrastellar]

What is this sorcery ?

When I put up one finger and five fingers I get six fingers, where did all of these hands come from?

We should get Costello to teach them some maths

 

[Stavros Kiri]

dedicated to all our northern hemisphere members
have a wonderful and snowy Christmas

View attachment 110659

Warning (to all our southern hemisphere members, from the north ones):
The sun is now moving this way ... so soon watch your ass! ...

 

[davenn]

Warning (to all our southern hemisphere members, from the north ones):
The sun is now moving this way ... so soon watch your ass! ...

I don't see snow where I am from in Australia

 

[Stavros Kiri]

I don't see snow where I am from in Australia

Well, never say never ... , but the good news is you still have time to prepare ... just in case!

 

[fresh_42]

I don't see snow where I am from in Australia

Could at least see Tasmania from where you live? Like some could see Russia from where they live.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Could at least see Tasmania from where you live? Like some could see Russia from where they live.

... with live web camera ...

 

[davenn]

Could at least see Tasmania from where you live? Like some could see Russia from where they live.

is that like the two blondes in Kansas, one blonde talking to another saying " the moon is closer than Florida, because I can see the moon but not Florida " ?

On occasions we do get snow up in the mountains to the west of Sydney. Took my Filipino wife up there 8 years back for her first play in snow ( it was very light, hardly covered the ground LOL ... but she loved it)

The best snow she has yet been in is in the USA ... once at Mt St Helens and then a week later in Yellowstone NPDave

 

[fresh_42]

is that like the two blondes in Kansas, one blonde talking to another saying " the moon is closer than Florida, because I can see the moon but not Florida " ?

O.k., Sarah isn't blonde but despite of this ...

If it comforts you: I have an equivalent (personal) pity to your absence of snow also due to the fact that I'm living almost on the exact opposite place on this rock than you. I mean, they released raccoons, greater rheas and Alexandrian parrots (accidentally) into the wild. Hell, even some red-necked wallabies made it into the wild and survived at least a couple of years (>4, but haven't heard of them for a while now). And the only animal that wouldn't have any climatic problems at all over here, one of my absolutely well beloved dudes - they of all beasts didn't escape anywhere: Keas.