Collection of Science Jokes P2

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Ibix]

If they don't ground him, he'll end up charged with something. Battery, probably.

 

[Bandersnatch]

Reminds me of:

 

[mfb]

Software engineering - the only profession where it is good if children die before their parents.

 

[Ibix]

that passed me by ??

Marcus Aurelius was a Roman emperor, whose head I presume it is on the coins. Au, Ag, and Cu are chemical elements.

 

[jack action]

Reminds me of:
View attachment 244981

That one reminds me of this one:

 

[Ibix]

Matchmaker, Matchmaker,
Make me a match...

 

[Bandersnatch]

(credit: radosc.wesolosc; transl. mine)

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

NASA was late on Mars!

 

[fresh_42]

https://www.physicsforums.com/attachments/245107

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Klystron]

https://www.physicsforums.com/attachments/245107

Reminds me of a true life hack at CERN circa 1990's.

Early morning meet at SRI International STAR Lab clustered around my workstation. An alert from CERN pops up. With data security the topic I click on the "bulletin" revealing a series of gaping orifices, not unlike the attachment though human. CERN had been hacked in revenge for some perceived Internet slight.

In retrospect I handled the situation with aplomb but actually I only remember the hack, not the reactions of my workmates.

 

[davenn]

​

 

[Keith_McClary]

I guess everybody here reads SMBC, but in case you missed it:

 

[davenn]

I guess everybody here reads SMBC, but in case you missed it:

never heard of it

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[davenn]

View attachment 245326

absolutely brilliant !

 

[Bandersnatch]

View attachment 245326

There appear to be some bad sectors in the head area.

 

[Wrichik Basu]

http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/2013-06-16

 

[Wrichik Basu]

 

[fresh_42]

There appear to be some bad sectors in the head area.

Boot sector.

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 245333

My favourite xkcd on scientists is this one:
https://xkcd.com/242/

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DrGreg]

I tried to extrapolate to 2019, but I got nothing.

 

[Demystifier]

 

[fresh_42]

Objection. If you want to publish $1+1=2$ the very least you should do is to specify what it means. It is an equation which isn't automatically true, hence it is not true at all, hence however you write the rest, it is based on a wrong statement. Your paper will be rejected, and for the right reasons!

 

[Demystifier]

Your paper will be rejected

Unless I cite an unrelated paper by the referee.

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

Could have posted in lame (due to pun-content), but the subject says science to me.

 

[davenn]

 

[Steelwolf]

On the Biological side, while I was a Sword Maker, I figured out how to breed sheep to make steel wool: You have to take a Lincolnshire Dam and mate her with a Dodge Ram!

Of course, this joke came about after (true story) I called a company for some buffing compound to be delivered to Steelwolf Armourie (the old sword-making business name from 20 yrs ago)...well, I got the package and it was addressed to Steel Wool Farmery...so I can imagine that the folks at the buffing compound place were scratching Their heads just a lil bit. A friend also drew up a cartoon that was on my shop wall for years, it showed he and I leaning against a fence looking out over a whole flock of Black Sheep and he is saying, "Ya know, it's a fine idea; I just hope it don't rain!"

 

[256bits]

Not so far off from reality, maybe.

Worm that produces sand.
https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/rock-eating-worm-that-excretes-sand-discovered/ar-AAD7x4a