Collection of Science Jokes P2

[DennisN]

How does an astronaut end his relationship?

Spoiler

"I just need some space."

 

[jack action]

 

[mfb]

This study shows that the age of the participants is strongly correlated with the age of the participants. We suggest follow-up studies with larger groups to study this surprising effect in more detail.

This is from an actual publication (the image, not the text).

 

[DaveC426913]

View attachment 245661This is from an actual publication (the image, not the text).

OMG, and not a joke either.

Question: is there any significance to the horizontal distribution within each group? Or is that arbitrary?
(eg. why is the very leftmost dot in <40 so far left? There's plenty of room for it nearer the centre.)

 

[jobyts]

 

[Ibix]

They mean one of the model globes you can put on a desk. All Flat Earth meetings have one. It's called Globestein, and they sit all around it and give it the two minutes' hate.

 

[Wrichik Basu]

View attachment 245684

That was posted before. I have that one (and many others) in my collection.

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

 

[davenn]

View attachment 245852​

sad but true

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[jack action]

 

[Keith_McClary]

View attachment 245433

After publication I simplified a couple of my papers so they were trivial. They might not have been publishable in that form but if they were they might be in undergrad textbooks.

 

[Steelwolf]

Silly undergrads, they were wearing shirts that said:
"Just Say
N₂O
to Drugs!"

And thought it would fly in the Chem Class.

 

[Ibix]

Seen on a tshirt yesterday:$$\sqrt{-1}\ 2^3\sum\pi$$

 

[Demystifier]

And thought it would fly in the Chem Class.

I first thought that you wrote "Chern Class" and coudn't figure out how is it related to algebraic topology. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chern_class

 

[Demystifier]

View attachment 245869

Is that Mileva?

 

[Ibix]

I first thought that you wrote "Chern Class" and coudn't figure out how is it related to algebraic topology. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chern_class

Just say $\aleph_0$ to countable infinities.

 

[Ibix]

Better:

Child: I want it!
Me: No.
Child: But I want it!
Me: No.
Child: But I waaannnt it!
Me: How many times do I have to say it? $\aleph_0$.

 

[Demystifier]

Better:

Child: I want it!
Me: No.
Child: But I want it!
Me: No.
Child: But I waaannnt it!
Me: How many times do I have to say it? $\aleph_0$.

Or maybe it's not $\aleph_0$ but $\omega$. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ordinal_number

 

[berkeman]

Seen on a tshirt yesterday:$$\sqrt{-1}\ 2^3\sum\pi$$

That only works for Physicists and Mathematicians. Engineers would figure you didn't know how to spell...

 

[fresh_42]

That only works for Physicists and Mathematicians. Engineers would figure you didn't know how to spell...

They would think it reads $18.84$!

$\sqrt{-1}$ is a positive root, ergo $1$.
$2^3 \approx 2\cdot 3 = 6$.
$\sum \pi \approx 3.14$

Edit: I was a bit unfair to engineers. In fact it is $2^3\approx 1+2*3$ (Bernoulli).

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

dunno how Argon got in there

 

[strangerep]

It took me a few moments to get "MHO".

 

[collinsmark]

Seen on a tshirt yesterday:$$\sqrt{-1}\ 2^3\sum\pi$$

That only works for Physicists and Mathematicians. Engineers would figure you didn't know how to spell...

'Works fine for engineers if your name is Jay.

 

[fresh_42]

Promising young physicist at primary school:
\begin{array}{|c|c|c|c|c|c|c|c|c|c|c|}
\hline \cdot & 1_1 & 2_1 & 3_1 & 4_1 &5_1&6_1&7_1&8_1&9_1&10_1 \\
\hline 1^1 &\langle 1|1 \rangle & \langle 1|2 \rangle &\langle 1|3 \rangle &\langle 1|4 \rangle &\langle 1|5 \rangle &\langle 1|6 \rangle &\langle 1|7 \rangle &\langle 1|8 \rangle &\langle 1|9 \rangle & \langle 1|10 \rangle \\
\hline 2^1 &\langle 2|1 \rangle & \langle 2|2 \rangle &\langle 2|3 \rangle &\langle 2|4 \rangle &\langle 2|5 \rangle &\langle 2|6 \rangle &\langle 2|7 \rangle &\langle 2|8 \rangle &\langle 2|9 \rangle & \langle 2|10 \rangle \\
\hline 3^1 &\langle 3|1 \rangle & \langle 3|2 \rangle &\langle 3|3 \rangle &\langle 3|4 \rangle &\langle 3|5 \rangle &\langle 3|6 \rangle &\langle 3|7 \rangle &\langle 3|8 \rangle &\langle 3|9 \rangle & \langle 3|10 \rangle \\
\hline 4^1 &\langle 4|1 \rangle & \langle 4|2 \rangle &\langle 4|3 \rangle &\langle 4|4 \rangle &\langle 4|5 \rangle &\langle 4|6 \rangle &\langle 4|7 \rangle &\langle 4|8 \rangle &\langle 4|9 \rangle & \langle 4|10 \rangle \\
\hline 5^1 &\langle 5|1 \rangle & \langle 5|2 \rangle &\langle 5|3 \rangle &\langle 5|4 \rangle &\langle 5|5 \rangle &\langle 5|6 \rangle &\langle 5|7 \rangle &\langle 5|8 \rangle &\langle 5|9 \rangle & \langle 5|10 \rangle \\
\hline 6^1 &\langle 6|1 \rangle & \langle 6|2 \rangle &\langle 6|3 \rangle &\langle 6|4 \rangle &\langle 6|5 \rangle &\langle 6|6 \rangle &\langle 6|7 \rangle &\langle 6|8 \rangle &\langle 6|9 \rangle & \langle 6|10 \rangle \\
\hline 7^1 &\langle 7|1 \rangle & \langle 7|2 \rangle &\langle 7|3 \rangle &\langle 7|4 \rangle &\langle 7|5 \rangle &\langle 7|6 \rangle &\langle 7|7 \rangle &\langle 7|8 \rangle &\langle 7|9 \rangle & \langle 7|10 \rangle \\
\hline 8^1 &\langle 8|1 \rangle & \langle 8|2 \rangle &\langle 8|3 \rangle &\langle 8|4 \rangle &\langle 8|5 \rangle &\langle 8|6 \rangle &\langle 8|7 \rangle &\langle 8|8 \rangle &\langle 8|9 \rangle & \langle 8|10 \rangle \\
\hline 9^1 &\langle 9|1 \rangle & \langle 9|2 \rangle &\langle 9|3 \rangle &\langle 9|4 \rangle &\langle 9|5 \rangle &\langle 9|6 \rangle &\langle 9|7 \rangle &\langle 9|8 \rangle &\langle 9|9 \rangle & \langle 9|10 \rangle \\
\hline 10^1 &\langle 10|1 \rangle & \langle 10|2 \rangle &\langle 10|3 \rangle &\langle 10|4 \rangle &\langle 10|5 \rangle &\langle 10|6 \rangle &\langle 10|7 \rangle &\langle 10|8 \rangle &\langle 10|9 \rangle & \langle 10|10 \rangle \\
\hline
\end{array}

 

[Steelwolf]

As long as mathematicians remember their table manners, all goes well.

 

[DennisN]

The Flat Earth concept is like a gift that keeps on giving...

 

[Steelwolf]

He was just lucky it was Flat Mars in the orbit at that time, Flat Venus would be right out!

Then again, isn't there something almost like that with the Venus Flat Trap?

 

[mfb]

These jokes are getting really flat.

 

[Steelwolf]

Well, people HAVE been complaining about planes falling out of the sky, so there might be something to it...other than the delivery.

 

[DennisN]

"Galileo, you'll have to simplify the experiment."