Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

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In summary, a group of individuals are discussing a new forum and its purpose of asking and answering "stupid questions." They discuss topics such as how long it takes to reach 1000 posts, the existence of the old forums, the best superpower, an elevator that goes sideways, and the reasons behind posting in this forum. They also explore the question of why they ask questions and the possible theories that have not been invented. Eventually, the conversation turns to the expansion of the universe and the orbit of planets around stars.
  • #946
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Well, upset? or? legally empowered! well...bringing in the "Female Dogs" isn't really going to help, but some of those very pretty (and intelligent) Female Attorneys might just do the trick to rectify the attempt at absconding the Competitions flag...
mmmm... so according to you, Mr... Parsons... but wait... I can't Prime Minister you ... your in-fluence is limited! All the same you seem to be barking up the same (female) tree (pole?) as i...
In taking the Competitions flag, is it required that you bring your own pole?(run that quetion up the Flap pole! and salute it! will Ya..!)
What do you do if you don't have a Flap whose pole you can run it up? Yeah, so the format fits another thread but two fer one is ok with me :smile:)
 
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  • #947
Originally posted by firefly
What do you do if you don't have a Flap whose pole you can run it up?
It's funny you should ask that question because, once, when I was stretch out half dead like a woodchuck who'd just been introduced to a Peterbuilt truck the hard way, on the floor of a cardboard and blanket structure that a Polish aviator of my acquaintence used to frequent when he'd forgotten his address, he was regaling me with stories of his near misses with flocks of pelicans and other aircraft, frequently using the phrase: "So there I was, without a flap whose pole I could run it up, when..." and so on. I thought it was an obtuse turn of speach.


What do you do if there seems to be a speck of titanium dioxide in the eye of a polish aviator of your acquaintence but when you mention it he says" No, Titanium dioxide is in the eye of the beholder." ?
 
  • #948
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if there seems to be a speck of titanium dioxide in the eye of a polish aviator of your acquaintence but when you mention it he says" No, Titanium dioxide is in the eye of the beholder." ?
Why, ton't you know? Paint it black!

What do you do if that Polish Aviator of yours turns out to be an apple turnover, or an abble turnover, or perhaps an able turner over of pelican engines?
 
  • #949
Originally posted by firefly
What do you do if that Polish Aviator of yours turns out to be an apple turnover, or an abble turnover, or perhaps an able turner over of pelican engines?
It's funny you should ask those quetions because he confessed to me once: "I should have been a pair of pastry halves enclosing a blob of wormy crabapple goo, being carried in the claws of a pelican, across the floor of silent seas." To which I responded "Sounds vaguely familiar." To which he replied,"Yes, I mentioned it just last night."Do fools flush gin, where angels: beer instead?
 
  • #950
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Do fools flush gin, where angels: beer instead?
No, fools flush angels, for the latter cannot bear the former, while angels flush gin: monochromatic hand is not just a poker feature.

Do angels a-pair only in black and white, or do they "come in color" since More Hot Rocks?
 
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  • #951
Originally posted by firefly
Do angels a-pair only in black and white, or do they "come in color" since More Hot Rocks?
Well flap my pole, I'll run that one up the point, and see if we can find one!

Well, while drinking, should one continue to breath...or just pole flap?
 
  • #952
No, you can't even do this, since the hole you brath with is closed while the drink-hole is open.

What if heaven was a half pipe and God was a DJ?
 
  • #953
Originally posted by kuengb
No, you can't even do this, since the hole you brath with is closed while the drink-hole is open.

What if heaven was a half pipe and God was a DJ?

Who would want to go to a half pipe heaven? People wouldn't be getting their monies worth unless the pipe was a whole pipe so they can stick it in their pipes and smoke it. Now incoming... God Rap *divine turntable screech*

How many feet are in a gallon?
 
  • #954
Originally posted by motai
How many feet are in a gallon?
Depends how wide the container is and how many gals have been hired to mash the grapes. That said I do believe they now use mechanical mashers, which quite defeats the purpose of my answering thus, but this will have to do.

Why are antacid tablets (Tums) flavoured with citric acid?
 
  • #955
Originally posted by firefly
Why are antacid tablets (Tums) flavoured with citric acid?
Rumor has it, for ascorbic reasons...but maybe they just want it to taste like an orange...

Why would they want an antacid to taste like the drink that gave your the indigestion in the first place?
 
  • #956
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Rumor has it, for ascorbic reasons...but maybe they just want it to taste like an orange...

Why would they want an antacid to taste like the drink that gave your the indigestion in the first place?

Its part of their evil scheme to dominate and take over the world. First get the people sick through their "remedy" then knock them out cold with a large blunt object.

Why in the movies do the evil characters always get defeated? I really wanted Dr. Evil to take over the world!
 
  • #957
Originally posted by motai
Why in the movies do the evil characters always get defeated? I really wanted Dr. Evil to take over the world!
It's funny you should ask that quetion because, once, when I was in a bar in tokyo I noticed Godzilla sitting by himself at a table at the back of the place in the shadows with about ten empty shot glasses in front of him, an ash tray full of cigarette butts, and a rolled up hundred dollar bill next to a powdery mirror, and I thought to myself:"No wonder he never wins."If I recall correctly there used to be a man on the street corner at 5th and Main who pretended to sell hot dogs and polish sausage but who in fact could procure just about anything you could think of for the right price. I recently found myself in need of a human costume in order to perpetrate a human sighting hoax on my fellow zoobies but discovered these are hard to come by. Has anyone seen that hot dog vendor recently?
 
  • #958
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If I recall correctly there used to be a man on the street corner at 5th and Main who pretended to sell hot dogs and polish sausage but who in fact could procure just about anything you could think of for the right price. I recently found myself in need of a human costume in order to perpetrate a human sighting hoax on my fellow zoobies but discovered these are hard to come by. Has anyone seen that hot dog vendor recently?
Yup...yesterday...

While out strolling, down/up 'Princess' street, I saw a "Hot Dog" vendor...how much is this ad worth?
 
  • #959
Its worth cannot be counted in dollars and cents (or euros and eurocents), but look how much pleasure and happiness and money it brings to the world and you will know the answer.

Why is toothpaste always delivered in tubes and never in, say, glasses like marmalade? It would be recycl-able and if you got too much paste on your brush, you could easily put it back, eh?
 
  • #960
Originally posted by kuengb
Why is toothpaste always delivered in tubes and never in, say, glasses like marmalade? It would be recycl-able and if you got too much paste on your brush, you could easily put it back, eh?
I don't know why this is, because there is certainly no more appetizing thought than to scoop up a glob of toothpaste that someone else has wiped off their toothbrush.Recently while I was examining a priceless old vase at the museum of antiquities, a flock of chickadees swarmed into the gallery and began swirling around the vase, which jarred it such that it began to teeter precariously on the verge on tipping over. I threw myself around it, preventing it from falling, but found that the chickadees were pecking visciously at my person. What do you do when you're caught between a flock and a jarred vase?
 
  • #961
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Recently while I was examining a priceless old vase at the museum of antiquities, a flock of chickadees swarmed into the gallery and began swirling around the vase, which jarred it such that it began to teeter precariously on the verge on tipping over. I threw myself around it, preventing it from falling, but found that the chickadees were pecking visciously at my person. What do you do when you're caught between a flock and a jarred vase?
Fly in the vase of voracity and jam what was once a-jar.

How do you jam toothpaste into a crock of marmalade which was sealed air-tight by a layer of pre-chewed Chicklets?
 
  • #962
Originally posted by firefly
How do you jam toothpaste into a crock of marmalade which was sealed air-tight by a layer of pre-chewed Chicklets?
This is a trick quetion because this is only something a bee or a wasp would do, not a firefly, which isn't equiped with the dentition to handle chicklets.When I was in London, last year, the runners of the 25th annual Shakespearian 20K marathon pinned me up againt Big Ben for ten minutes while they huffed past. What do you do when you are caught between a clock and a bard race?
 
  • #963
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
When I was in London, last year, the runners of the 25th annual Shakespearian 20K marathon pinned me up againt Big Ben for ten minutes while they huffed past. What do you do when you are caught between a clock and a bard race?
This is a trick quetion because a Zooby has yet to be caught... anywhere.

If you fly in the face of fire will you alight on the wings of a dove?
 
  • #964
Originally posted by firefly
If you fly in the face of fire will you alight on the wings of a dove?
Sure. Why not?Since questions are a symptom of ignorance is there any such thing as a smart question?
 
  • #965
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Since questions are a symptom of ignorance is there any such thing as a smart question?
Sure, ignorance smarts, sooner or later.

If ignorance is bliss, then is attention hit-and-miss?
 
  • #966
This is a smart question.

Last year, when I was just about to finish the 25th annual Shakespearian 20K marathon I saw someone (believe it or not) pinned up against Big Ben, must've been for about ten minutes or so. Anyway, I completely forgot to run. What do you do in such a situation if you don't have a camera with you?
 
  • #967
Originally posted by kuengb
Last year, when I was just about to finish the 25th annual Shakespearian 20K marathon I saw someone (believe it or not) pinned up against Big Ben, must've been for about ten minutes or so. Anyway, I completely forgot to run. What do you do in such a situation if you don't have a camera with you?
Just remember that person as per their inabiltiy to spell "against" Thusly you will be able to find said "Pressed against time" person, without fail...

As Originally mispelt by one ZOOBYSHOE!(SNIP)
Shakespearian 20K marathon pinned me up againt Big Ben for ten (SNoP)

Is being held against the Clockface of Big Ben by a hoarding flock of voracious Titmouse Chickadee's really just being "Pressed for time"?
 
  • #968
Since I'm not familiar with this English idiomatic expression I don't know a proper response.

What, my dear friend, is the difference between left and right?
 
  • #969
Originally posted by kuengb
What, my dear friend, is the difference between left and right?
Their respective viewpoint of the Center...

How is it that being "unfamiliar with, well, English" somehow allows you to preclude the quetions of others, especailly when all of the quetions are written in, well, it is english, isn't it?
 
  • #970
It is a right that is unequivocly given to me in the preface to the "Oxford Dictionarry of Distinguishèd and Aristocratic English".

When we pair a black and a white sheep, what will we get?
 
  • #971
A Grayish-Brown sheep!

Do you think the original person with a rocket in his pocket is dead by now because it might have accidently went off?
 
  • #972
Originally posted by motai
Do you think the original person with a rocket in his pocket is dead by now because it might have accidently went off?
Unlikely - if his pocket rocket went off I think it would have been anything but accidental.

Does a pocketful of posies imply explosive originality?
 
  • #973
Originally posted by firefly
Does a pocketful of posies imply explosive originality?
Yes but apparently it leaves a "Ring around the Rosie"...

Is a "Ring Around the Rosie" the same as a "Ring around the Porcelain Bowl"??
 
  • #974
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Is a "Ring Around the Rosie" the same as a "Ring around the Porcelain Bowl"??
I could tell you, but I don't trust you to use the information wisely.Recently I had the misfortune, while mowing the lawn, of discovering to my horror, that I had run over a leprechaun. This seemed like a bad thing under any circumstances but what with St. Patrick's Day being so near it seemed like some particularly bad piece of luck. I put the remains in a shoebox and mailed it to St. Patrick's Cathedral, NYC, USA, in the hope they would know what to do with it. I didn't include a cover letter, and now I'm worried that they are going to mistake it for the corpse of a very short Amish gentleman - same beard and all. Anyway, the incident got me thinking: I have never seen a picture of a female leprechaun. How do they reproduce?
 
  • #975
Photosynthesis.

Why don't let we let cows, sheep, chicken etc. live in freedom and instead breed game on our farms? I mean, let's face it, a lazy ruminating cow is a much lighter target for a hunter than, say, a stag or even a quick little rabbit. That would be a timesaver wouldn't it?
 
  • #976
Originally posted by kuengb
Why don't let we let cows, sheep, chicken etc. live in freedom and instead breed game on our farms? I mean, let's face it, a lazy ruminating cow is a much lighter target for a hunter than, say, a stag or even a quick little rabbit. That would be a timesaver wouldn't it?
Because there is "No Challenge" in shooting a cow, from thirty paces, much more of a challenge to face a Raging Buck in rut, from 100 yards, with your scope, and laser sighting, and protective gear, and dogs, and live backup support via internet, and all the rest...

Why do people read all of this thread, then post quetions that are not following the spirit of the thread? (like this one?)
 
  • #977
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Why do people read all of this thread, then post quetions that are not following the spirit of the thread? (like this one?)
Sounds like Fawlty Premises to me. Doubtful people read all of this thread, so they'd not have the ghost of a chance of following its spirit.

As I was pondering the anser to your free-spirited quetion, it occurred to me that there was an odd recursion about it such that, were one not careful, the line of reasoning brought about by such pondering could spiral into a dangerous vortex, rendering the stream of consciousness comparable to a class 5 rapids. Having caught this dangerous train of thought, and so trapped in the simple but savage mathematical machinations of your Whirlpool, however did I manage to reach the end of the line, and pose a new quetion?
 
  • #978
Originally posted by firefly
As I was pondering the anser to your free-spirited quetion, it occurred to me that there was an odd recursion about it such that, were one not careful, the line of reasoning brought about by such pondering could spiral into a dangerous vortex, rendering the stream of consciousness comparable to a class 5 rapids. Having caught this dangerous train of thought, and so trapped in the simple but savage mathematical machinations of your Whirlpool, however did I manage to reach the end of the line, and pose a new quetion?
From a similar vantage point one would see the same thing, so NO...or maybe Yes...don't know, kinda, perhaps, sorta, maybe, it could be possible that perhaps a chance of it to be thought of as thunked out thoughts of the potential possibilities of a responce...

If beauty is in the eye of the Be-holder, does it help that the "Be" Holder' is also beautiful on the outside?
 
  • #979
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
If beauty is in the eye of the Be-holder, does it help that the "Be" Holder' is also beautiful on the outside?
This quetion reminds me of an amusing anecdote concerning a beautiful bee keeper who once tried to hold a bee. She wanted to put lipstick and a French maid's costume on the bee, so it would be beautiful to behold, but the bee balked and bit her butt. Anyone with half a mind can see the moral of the story. Those with a whole mind, though, will remain baffled.March 17th. Paddy walks into an Italian bar and announces that, in honor of the holiday he'll buy a free bottle for any man present who'll admit that Ireland is the greatest nation on earth. A Roman, a Sicilian, and a Corsican at a table imediately jump up and cry: "Ireland is the greatest nation on the face of the earth!"
Paddy is amazed. He is a man of honor, though, and he orders three bottles of their favorite grappa to be brought to them. Curiosity gets the better of him and he ambles over to the table and asks: "How is it you're so willing to put your country's honor second to a bottle of booze?" The Sicilian slowly removes his mask revealing that he is, in fact, a gray space alien, and replies:"ç&9((^ #@ç®® †¥ƒ¼5••²¢ º¬ð¸œ¢4$½½7!" When participating in St. Patrick's Day Leprechaun hunts, is it better to collect them in an old pillow case or do those cheap, plastic toy Leprechaun collecting baskets they make for kids really suffice?
 
  • #980
When participating in St. Patrick's Day Leprechaun hunts, is it better to collect them in an old pillow case or do those cheap, plastic toy Leprechaun collecting baskets they make for kids really suffice?
Best not to do either since Leprechauns are now a protected species. Do you really want to get PETL after you?

Why doesn't cat food come in flavors like "savory mouse" and "hummingbird hash"?
 
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