Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[firefly]

Originally posted by Math Is Hard
Why doesn't cat food come in flavors like "savory mouse" and "hummingbird hash"?

That's quiet a mouseful of a quetion there... hummmm... I'm afraid I can't quite hash it out.

Why do hummingbirds, in the presence of sharp! pointy! teeth! turn on those reverse rockets full thrust but always seem to land beak deep in nectar, while whales, of noticeably greater size often land beached and therefore rather far from the deep, regardless of the presence of sharp pointy teeth such as might penetrate skin deep when playing with a mouse, unless it is attached to a computer?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by firefly
[Why do hummingbirds, in the presence of sharp! pointy! teeth! turn on those reverse rockets full thrust but always seem to land beak deep in nectar, while whales, of noticeably greater size often land beached and therefore rather far from the deep, regardless of the presence of sharp pointy teeth such as might penetrate skin deep when playing with a mouse, unless it is attached to a computer?

Was biten by this amazingly sharp toothed quetion, that evoked a whale of a responce, as intiated by the mouse on the computer, activities that landed me beached in nectar, but only afflicted in a "skin depth" mannerisms...

So if you, like me, have a post on every single page of this thread, why is this one the last one?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
So if you, like me, have a post on every single page of this thread, why is this one the last one?

Well, you'll have to blame Maxwell's equations for that, or rather their integral and differential forms, because each final desinent metanoia into electric answer spawns its own magnetic get, outward forever into space. without stopage or stopple, or tampion. It's catechetical. This isn't the first last page there has been in this thread and it won't be the last last page.

If the teeth of the shark are pointy by virtue of their triangularity, and the teeth of the whale (such whales as have teeth) are pointy by virtue of tapering till there's nothing left, what geometry can account for the pointiness of the teeth of the hummingbird?

 

[Imparcticle]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If the teeth of the shark are pointy by virtue of their triangularity, and the teeth of the whale (such whales as have teeth) are pointy by virtue of tapering till there's nothing left, what geometry can account for the pointiness of the teeth of the hummingbird? [/B]

The teeth of a hummingbird are pointy by virtue of their tendency to strain flowers of their nectar.
I hope these answers are supposed to not make sense.

If your mom's a dryer and your dad's a dishwasher, then what is the dog doing on top of the dog house while pigs don't fly?

LOL. I hope these questions aren't supposed to make sense either.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by SquareItSalamander
If your mom's a dryer and your dad's a dishwasher, then what is the dog doing on top of the dog house while pigs don't fly?

That dog would be performing the very important function of guarding against the acquisition of knowledge of flight by any porcine species since there are now so many thing that have been delegated to happen when pigs have wings that they cannot possibly be accommodated.

LOL. I hope these questions aren't supposed to make sense either.

Avoid incoherence. Try for surreal or fractured logic.

The recent news relates that several jellyfish dressed as ordinary citizens were arrested yesterday while attempting to break and enter a large, well known bank after hours, while on the other side of town several bank robbers dressed as jellyfish were arrested while trying to break and enter an aquarium. What accounts for this confusion among the criminal element, both pedestrian and aquatic?

 

[Math Is Hard]

What accounts for this confusion among the criminal element, both pedestrian and aquatic?

That's the problem with these fishy news stories - the facts are always watered down, and anyone with half a brine, who knows their salt (about Jellyfish) can see right through them.

Which is more important: to anser a quetion, or quetion an anser?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Math Is Hard
Which is more important: to anser a quetion, or quetion an anser?

A quetionable quetion. I quetion it.But is quetioning the quetion really an anser?

 

[olde drunk]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
A quetionable quetion. I quetion it.


But is quetioning the quetion really an anser?

if you do not have a quetion, is that san quetion?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by olde drunk
if you do not have a quetion, is that san quetion?

It is completely irregular to anser a quetion with a quetion, and causes me no end of zoobonic confusion, since I don't know if the quetion has ansered and settled the matter or if you simply forgot a new quetion, or if you meant to combine anser & quetion. This is just the kind of fribbleous amphigory I'd expect from an elderly compotator.

If you have been incarcerated in San Quetion for violation of the anser - quetion format, what do you use to brew your own besotting beverages?

 

[quantumdude]

Good grief, how did this thread slip to page 4?

If you have been incarcerated in San Quetion for violation of the anser - quetion format, what do you use to brew your own besotting beverages?

Anything but the bedpan!

How much further would this thread have slipped if I hadn't responded?

 

[zoobyshoe]

How much further would this thread have slipped if I hadn't responded?

We'll never know because now you have interfered with our carefully devised and sensitive test of its coefficient of friction.

Now that that's all over with, is there any way to ever actually find out which falls faster in a vacuum: a stupid quetion or a "What do you do if..." quetion?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Both have the same acceleration: 7.1 X10¹⁰ furlongs per fortnights²

We all know the dangers of the Zoobyshoe, but exactly how dangerous is a Zoobysock?

 

[zoobyshoe]

We all know the dangers of the Zoobyshoe, but exactly how dangerous is a Zoobysock?

Extremely dangerous: they cause the disappearance of washing machines and dryers!

Recently when I was working on a self portrait entitled Portrait of the Zoobie as as artist painting a self portrait of the zoobie as an artist painting a self portrait of the zoobie as an artists... I realized there had to be an end to it somewhere or I would never finish it and might accidently live forever. I thought it would be convenient to use c² in there somewhere to determine a limit to the internal repetitions. Can anyone offer a useful formula?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Can anyone offer a useful formula?

I believe the specific formula you are seeking is
me = e² /c²
which will give you the exact number of "me"s in the iterative image you are creating of yourself.

What do you suppose will happen when we get to the 1000th stupid quetion?

 

[Macgyver]

We throw a monster mash.

Do you choose cake or death?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Do you choose cake or death?

It's funny you should ask that quetion, because once, when I was crawling on all fours toward the mother of all stupid quetions I spotted a Polish aviator of my acquaintance burying a cake, while a friend of his was frosting a corpse.


Recently when I was reading a 1905 paper entitled On the Electrodynamics of Nocturnally Roving Herds of Weird, Purple Jellyfish originally published in the Annalen die Marinebiologie by Alfred Einstein, I was startled to come across the following:

"Weird, purple jellyfish stings which are simultaneous with reference to the ocean are not simultaneous with respect to the aquarium, and vise versa (relativity of wierd, purple jellyfish sting simultaneity)."

Does this mean the speed of pain is the same for all who are stung in any inertial frame or is a statement of the time at which one was stung meaningless unless we are told which body of water the weird, purple jellyfish call their inertial reference frame?

 

[Math Is Hard]

I am not sure this is the appropriate thread to bring up a concept as speculative as the Theory of Jellativity.

but since we're on the subject of theories, why is the speed of light symbol "c" instead of, say, "L" ?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I am not sure this is the appropriate thread to bring up a concept as speculative as the Theory of Jellativity.

but since we're on the subject of theories, why is the speed of light symbol "c" instead of, say, "L" ?

Because we c light. duh.

Wasn't Schrodinger really saying that a watched pot never boils?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Wasn't Schrodinger really saying that a watched pot never boils?

What I glean from his experiments was strong evidence that he was really a dog person.


Since jellyfish have about 30 or 40 eyes, shouldn't we prefer their theories concerning the isotropy of light over those of two-eyed human physisists?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Since jellyfish have about 30 or 40 eyes, shouldn't we prefer their theories concerning the isotropy of light over those of two-eyed human physisists?

No because light is isotropic everywhere when all 40 eyes are working, but not when the number is reduced by a magnitude of order and the ambient light energy keeps the polish aviator from flying his zooby'shod boat to the other side of the mountain to release the fish back into the wild, so willy will be free!

Was I stupid, to stop being stupid, by asking stupidities?

pS! BTW! I! GOT! #1000! YEAH! FOR! ME!?!

 

[Chi Meson]

So to begin... How long do you think it takes to reach a 1000 posts in this topic again?

One year, 30 days, 5 hours, 20 minutes

Edit: Oops, leap year. More specifically, 396 days, 5 hours, 20 minutes

 

[zoobyshoe]

Was I stupid, to stop being stupid, by asking stupidities?

Every reference-body (co-ordinate system) has its own particular stupidity: unless we are told the reference-body to which a statement of stupidity refers, there is no meaning in a statement of the stupidity of an event.


Once, before I was born, I was strolling around the campus of Princeton University, Princeton, N.J. and I stopped an old geezer to ask if he had the time. He peered at me with his large, yoda-like eyes, his wild, white hair dancing in all directions at once, his long, unkemped moustache twitching with the ill concealed mirth of the smile he was trying to hold back, and asked: "According to what inertial co-ordinate system?" It struck me then: a blaze of insight so profound that I was nearly knocked off my feet. What had I realized?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

The jellyfish stole your watch while you were checking the isotropy of photons.

What is the Swiss, precision watch maker's crowd doing these days?

 

[zoobyshoe]

What is the Swiss, precision watch maker's crowd doing these days?

They've been shunted over to making sure the holes in the cheese are within tolerance; a vastly more precisely controlled process than the Swiss have ever let on.


Recently when I was reading an appendix to the aforementioned 1905 paper On the Electrodynamics of Nocturnal Roving Herds of Weird, Purple Jellyfish, I was astonished to find the author arriving at the following mathematical conclusion:

E=mc²

Where E = the energy released in the screams of the victim of a jellyfish sting.

m = the meanness of the particular jellyfish

c = the amount of cussing produced by the victim.

How was it that Alfred Einstein was able to sort out this remarkably simple relationship in a way that has dazzled all who look at the ocean and ponder the billions and billions of jellyfish it contains ever since?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Recently when I was reading an appendix to the aforementioned 1905 paper On the Electrodynamics of Nocturnal Roving Herds of Weird, Purple Jellyfish, I was astonished to find the author arriving at the following mathematical conclusion:

E=mc²

Where E = the energy released in the screams of the victim of a jellyfish sting.

m = the meanness of the particular jellyfish

c = the amount of cussing produced by the victim.

How was it that Alfred Einstein was able to sort out this remarkably simple relationship in a way that has dazzled all who look at the ocean and ponder the billions and billions of jellyfish it contains ever since?

Well, in a recently published study of "Reference Framing" in framable references of spacialities, that could be referentially framed, into references, it was noted that the level of referencing that went on, was directly referencable to the framing of the reference, preferred by the referential framer, who framed the reference, such that the entire reference would be frame in reference!...that was how he had pondered it, but apparently he spelt it differently, out of frame and off reference...soooooooo..."a needle pulling thread"

Does a 'PushMePullYou' expand, or contract?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Does a 'PushMePullYou' expand, or contract?

No, it doesn't, a fact discovered when they were studying it to see how it went to the bathroom.


Since the jellyfish is about 98% water the quetion is often raised "When I go collecting washed up jellyfish off the beach, is it possible to know if I am grabbing it by the jellyfish part or by the water part?" and this is the reason that Heizenburg formulated his astonishing Jellyfish Uncertainty Principle which states that we can either know the water content of a jellyfish, or the jellyfish content, but not both at the same time. A remarkable piece of work that said a great deal about jellyfish while completely avoiding a direct answer to the original quetion. How was Heizenburg able to be so slippery?

 

[selfAdjoint]

No, it doesn't, a fact discovered when they were studying it to see how it went to the bathroom.


Since the jellyfish is about 98% water the quetion is often raised "When I go collecting washed up jellyfish off the beach, is it possible to know if I am grabbing it by the jellyfish part or by the water part?" and this is the reason that Heizenburg formulated his astonishing Jellyfish Uncertainty Principle which states that we can either know the water content of a jellyfish, or the jellyfish content, but not both at the same time. A remarkable piece of work that said a great deal about jellyfish while completely avoiding a direct answer to the original quetion. How was Heizenburg able to be so slippery?

He had mastered the famous Oiler's number.

Since the jellyfish/ocean duality is uncertain, do jelly fish communicate faster than tide?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

He had mastered the famous Oiler's number.

Since the jellyfish/ocean duality is uncertain, do jelly fish communicate faster than tide?

The question of jellyfish entanglement is the greatest challenge facing all fishashists today.

How many tentacles are found on a jellyfish that exists in gillbert space?

 

[zoobyshoe]

How many tentacles are found on a jellyfish that exists in gillbert space?

Orthonormally speaking, "gill" bert space, where there are a lot of Von Neumann fish, is not a good place for jellyfish, because these fish bite and eat the jellyfish with sharp!pointy!teeth! and they end up with few, if any, tentacles.


Recently I was reading Alfred Einstein's staggering work: The General Theory of Jellitivity in which he sets forth ideas that have made it possible for us to now enjoy such technological wonders as the GPS (Gelatinous Positioning System). I am sure that by the time I finish this wonderful paper I will have a thorough understanding, not just of jellyfish, but of jelly, jello, unflavored gelatin, and perhaps even the musical stylings of Jellyroll Morton. To think it all started from his thoughts on "Gelatinous Motion" when he reccomended we all stare into a glass of water and watch the itsy-bitsy jellyfish being bounced around by the molecules like the balls in a tiny game of water polo. And to think it grew from there into his grand insight that space, itself, was curved like a jellyfish around the matter that floats through it. Where would Alfred Einstein be without the jellyfish?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Where would Alfred Einstein be without the jellyfish?

On dry land.

When Alfred boldly asserted that God doesn’t play dice with invertebrates, Seals Bohr barked back something about the protected species act leaving Alfred completely adrift in thought. But then while strolling along the trail of dead jellyfish left behind by Bohr, Alfred looked up…

What exactly did he realize as he tripped on a foaming jellyfish part?

 

[zoobyshoe]

What exactly did he realize as he tripped on a foaming jellyfish part?

That he hadn't secured his sailboat and it was now about a hundred yards offshore being steered by a gang of pirate seals who called themselves "Jellium Mechanics".

Sir Isaac Newt demonstrated long ago that every wierd, purple jellyfish is actually composed of a spectrum of weirdness ranging from the infra-weird to the ultra-weird. This raised the quetion of the possibility of weird, purple jellyfish that are outside the range of human perception of weirdness. Haven't you ever noticed your cat staring at something unseen by you and wondered if it wasn't seeing a species of weird, purple jellyfish that only a feline can percieve?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Haven't you ever noticed your cat staring at something unseen by you and wondered if it wasn't seeing a species of weird, purple jellyfish that only a feline can percieve?

My cat, Einstein [I know, really unique], has looked at me strangely from time to time, as does Tsunami twice a day, but I can always account for this strange behavior – Einstein’s not Tsunami’s - by a careful check of the food bowl first, the litter box next, and then my newly developed hyper-weird jellyfish spectrometer. The data shows that your suggestion [and yours is not the only one.] would lead to something known as the purple jellyfish catastrophe. However, if we consider the deeds of the dastardly Swiss pirate known as Walk-the-Plank Max [an unemployed Swiss, precision watch maker that had a very unfortunate incident involving a hook, a peg leg, and a rope, but that's another story] we find that it was ole Walk-the who first realized that jellyfishes come in discrete units called Jellomolds. So I ask you: How can there be invisible purple jellyfish if they come in Jellomolds?

 

[Math Is Hard]

We can't be too dismissive of the observations of feline physicists as they have a true mastery of higher dimensions. In fact, it was the young physicist Edward Kitten who first noticed that Jellomolds have the ability to seep out of 4 dimensionsal space-time and disappear forever (thus becoming invisible) much like the little rubber mousie that got knocked under the refrigerator and was never seen again. Unfortunately many rival physicists were able to distract Kitten from completing his work on Jellomolds by rolling balls of yarn across the floor in front of him. This backfired ultimately, serving only to spark his ideas on "string theory".
Is a Swiss precision watch maker someone who makes watches that are Swiss and precise, or a person of Swiss nationality who makes precision watches or both or neither?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Is a Swiss precision watch maker someone who makes watches that are Swiss and precise, or a person of Swiss nationality who makes precision watches or both or neither?

Swiss citizenship requires:

A. The ability to yodel.

B. The ability to make a precise watch.

C. The ability to name all the utensils on a Swiss Army knife without looking.

Therefore, the correct anser is: "both".


It used to be believed that jellomolds, by virtue of the "jiggly" aspect of their "jiggly/melty" duality, must be jiggles in some ubiquitous medium known as the icky goo.
However, all attempts to detect the icky goo using a fascinating set up of Smucker's jars mounted at right angles to each other on a great, solid, stone surface plate, such that the icky goo, if it actually existed, would be observable by Bill Cosby who was also mounted on the plate such that the icky goo would interfere with a bowl of Jell-o placed in front of him, failed. There was no icky goo.
Recently, however, there have been attempts to revive the notion of the icky goo. How do modern conceptions of the icky goo differ from those of the classical icky goo?

 

[Math Is Hard]

the creation of mass

..We interrupt this thread for a loosely related web reference...

Just as an aside, I have no idea what this web page is talking about, but if you scroll down to the middle of it those things look supiciously like jellyfish:

http://www.mu6.com/index.html



...We now return you to our regularly scheduled quetion...