Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[zoobyshoe]

Yup, them is jellyfish.

 

[Math Is Hard]

How do modern conceptions of the icky goo differ from those of the classical icky goo?

The concept of icky goo has been abandoned by modern science altogether, upon the realization that jellyfish would rather float in salt water rather than goo.

Since advances in research now tell us that mass = jellyfish (as referenced by the website in my last post), should our beloved E=mc^2 theory be modified to E=jc^2, AND... if there can be a value calculated from the product of two certain values of gravity and time, such that it is precisely equal to the speed of light, should the equation be so revised such that
E = jc(gt) or ultimately
E = TJCG thereby proving that ENERGY=GOD?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Since advances in research now tell us that mass = jellyfish (as referenced by the website in my last post), should our beloved E=mc^2 theory be modified to E=jc^2, AND... if there can be a value calculated from the product of two certain values of gravity and time, such that it is precisely equal to the speed of light, should the equation be so revised such that
E = jc(gt) or ultimately
E = TJCG thereby proving that ENERGY=GOD?

Absolutely! And don't stop there. Since Energy=God, and Energy=Mass, and Mass=Jellyfish, then JELLYFISH=GOD!


Isn't that the answer that everyone whose posted in this thread has really been seeking all along?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

The concept of icky goo has been abandoned by modern science altogether, upon the realization that jellyfish would rather float in salt water rather than goo.

Since advances in research now tell us that mass = jellyfish (as referenced by the website in my last post), should our beloved E=mc^2 theory be modified to E=jc^2, AND... if there can be a value calculated from the product of two certain values of gravity and time, such that it is precisely equal to the speed of light, should the equation be so revised such that
E = jc(gt) or ultimately
E = TJCG thereby proving that ENERGY=GOD?

YES DEFINATELY especially since I read that linked page of yours and saw them Mama Branes!

What the heck is a Mama Brane? is it like a jollyfish/ (Thats 'inside' jellyfish talk for "one who laughs, at these jellyfishy pages")

 

[Math Is Hard]

I think the Mama Brane is what takes over when maternal instincts are invoked. About 100 times fiercer than the reptile brane.

Should I type slowly in case any other blondes are reading this post?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Should I type slowly in case any other blondes are reading this post?

The comprehension speed of blondes is tied to the typing speed of blondes by a simple relationship expressed in the following formula:

v^b₂ = (ç)/v^b₁

Where:

v^b₁= blonde typing velocity

v^b₂ = blonde comprehension velocity

(ç) = a constant known as the "Barbie Constant" which is a hairy and dense thing that would take 30 pages to explain.

The net result is that the slower you type the slower they comprehend.


Recently I went to the refridgerator and discovered that my jar of strawberry jelly was empty. Should I post about this in Skepticism and Debunking: was it an authentic Out-Of-Jelly-Experience?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Zoob, you need to clean out your refrigerator. It is apparent that you have built up sufficient mass in the old ice box to create a miniature black hole. Jelliton particles will be the first to disappear since they are naturally seeking the MAMA brane dwelling in the singularity.
One way to test for sure if a miniature black hole is forming in the frig: if you open the door and the light comes on, you’re probably ok, but if you open the door and all the light gets sucked out of your kitchen, then you’ve got a problem.
Hope this helps! If you clean out your frig and the problem still persists check your warranty.

What percentage of refrigerator warranties cover spontaneous black hole development?

 

[zoobyshoe]

What percentage of refrigerator warranties cover spontaneous black hole development?

Percentage? I don't know. They offered me the extended spontaneous black hole development warrantee when I bought it but I thought that was just a scam to get more money out of me.

As I ponder cleaning out my fridge I wonder if I should throw out the five dozen fried egg jellyfish I have been keeping for a zoobie feast.

Here's what they look like:
Address:http://gallery.future-i.com/diving/spain/pic:fried-egg-jelly/

Really, how much mass could five dozen of these be contributing to my problem?

 

[Rader]

Woohoo, a brand new forum to post in! Just thought it didn't feel quite right without this here. So in the tradition of PF 2.0 ask a stupid "quetion" and get a stupid answer back.

So to begin... How long do you think it takes to reach a 1000 posts in this topic again?

Sorry to inform you, so late but it already has.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Really, how much mass could five dozen of these be contributing to my problem?

Those fried egg jellies look delicious. I wouldn't keep them more than 48 hours though. They tend to spoil quickly. Egg jellies are more massive than they look, by the way.

Is there also a toast and sausage jellyfish?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Is there also a toast and sausage jellyfish?

I don't know about sausage, but there will never be a toast jellyfish, because then they'd have to come up with a jelly jellyfish to put on it, which would be a redundancy, or a double positive, snce a jellyfish is already jelly, so how can you have a jelly jellyfish any more than you can have jelly jelly or fish fish?


Since fried eggs do not mate with jellyfish in nature, the fried egg jellyfish is clearly the result of mysterious experiments perpetrated behind closed doors at area 51. What kind of demented mind do you suppose determined that it would be interesting to see if you could cross a fried egg with a jellyfish?

 

[Math Is Hard]

What kind of demented mind do you suppose determined that it would be interesting to see if you could cross a fried egg with a jellyfish?

Aha! A mind this inherently devious can only be traced back to one origin. I propose that these cruel freaks of nature were spawned by none other than the sellyfishly-inclined, late-night radio host, Art Bell, who in some drunken, hallucinatory frenzy (while tripping over the cat repeatedly in his trailer-lab) co-mingled jellyfish and fried egg DNA in hopes of finding an acceptable hangover cure.

If, by accident, Art had co-mingled his own DNA with jellyfish DNA, would that create a Bellyfish?

 

[zoobyshoe]

If, by accident, Art had co-mingled his own DNA with jellyfish DNA, would that create a Bellyfish?

That, or something equally Artyfishal.


Since the nocturnaly roving herds of weird, purple jellyfish have made it to the nevada desert should we be worried they will displace the indigenous population of wild fried eggs?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Why worry? This displacement will only serve to lower the cholesterol rate (which is considerable) of Nevada overall.

In the absense of natural predators (jellyfish) and with adequate resources, would the population of wild fried eggs grow at an exponential rate, and what effect would this have on sales of Lipitor?

 

[zoobyshoe]

In the absense of natural predators (jellyfish) and with adequate resources, would the population of wild fried eggs grow at an exponential rate, and what effect would this have on sales of Lipitor?

Because non-native, nocturnally roving herds of weird, purple jellyfish will attack and fight with the native wild fried eggs in an effort to take over the fried egg's source of brackish water it is sometimes erroneously concluded that the native Nevadan Desert Jellyfish is also in competition with the wild fried egg. This is not so, since the Native Nevadan Desert Jellyfish feeds exclusively on a species of hallucinogenic cactus found there, and is alway too high to fight anything else. Nocturnally roving herds of weird, purple jellyfish are a completely new factor in this environment and ecologists are watching the situation with white-knuckled fear. The wild fried egg population has always been kept in check, not by predators, but because so many perish when they roll over to go to sleep and pop their yoke when they are still in the tender, sunny side up stage of development.

Confusing the Native Nevadan Desert Jellyfish with the wild fried egg, kids looking for a cheap high often end up with egg on their face when they travel to the desert and lick wild fried eggs, hoping to see fantastic colors and to get a glimpse of an alternate reality. In an effort to stop these kids from trespassing on his ranch and disturbing his herds of semi-domesticated wild fried eggs, Nevada fried egg rancher Ed Wilson has resorted to pretending his ranch is an outpost of Area 51, which he patrols in an old army jeep, wearing an old army uniform, threatening to shoot any trespassers who won't immediately leave. That seems illegal to me, but my quetion is: what does he do with all the fried eggs?

 

[Math Is Hard]

my quetion is: what does he do with all the fried eggs?

Thrill-seeking students are the least of Ed Wilson's worries,as he has weekly confrontations with the Egg Liberation Front (ELF) who suspect he breeds WFE for cruel research experiments for the feds. There is also a problem of people illegally hunting these practically "tame" eggs on his property.
In fact, according to police reports, his eggs are poached virtually every morning.

If crazy, wacky Japanese Chindogu inventors will try every crazy, wacky invention, then why has no one ever invented or tried Jellyfish Sushi and would this invention respect the rules of Chindogu?

 

[zoobyshoe]

If crazy, wacky Japanese Chindogu inventors will try every crazy, wacky invention, then why has no one ever invented or tried Jellyfish Sushi and would this invention respect the rules of Chindogu?

Technically speaking, any sushi purchased at the sushi restaurant known as "Jellyfish Sushi":

Address:http://www.portlandtribune.com/archview.cgi?id=23802
would be considered "jellyfish" sushi. However, this would violate chindogu by being for sale.

The many jellyfish recipes that do exist (7,500 listings on google)

Google Search: jellyfish recipes
Address:http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&...8859-1&q=jellyfish+recipes&btnG=Google+Search

tend to suggest that any authentic jellyfish sushi would also violate chindogu by being of actual use. Rules of chindogu: International Chindogu Society
Address:http://www.chindogu.com/chindogu/tenents.html

Recently the Discovery Channel had an interesting special about the wild fried egg. One extremely poignant segment showed a pregnant wild fried egg returning to the very same sun-heated flat rock where she herself had been born to give birth to her litter. It was quite fascinating to see how she deposited each of her babies at a carefully determined distance from each other so that as they began to fry in the sun they wouldn't stick together. Then she stayed to tenderly guard them till they had matured to the sturdier sunny-side-up stage of their development where they are able to move about on their own.

In view of this heartwarming documentary footage, it doesn't seem possible that anyone could not want to stop the encroachent upon this habitat by the nocturnally roving herds of weird, purple jellyfish. Or am I just the victim of ELF propaganda?

 

[Math Is Hard]

In view of this heartwarming documentary footage, it doesn't seem possible that anyone could not want to stop the encroachent upon this habitat by the nocturnally roving herds of weird, purple jellyfish. Or am I just the victim of ELF propaganda?

This footage is an elaborate hoax created by ELF. It was all done with CG effects and stop-motion techniques. The truth is, Wild Fried Eggs come from Wild Fried Chickens.

Which leads us to the obvious quetion: Which came first, the Wild Fried Chicken or the Wild Fried Egg?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Which leads us to the obvious quetion: Which came first, the Wild Fried Chicken or the Wild Fried Egg?

No, this is a trick quetion based on a logical fallacy. The wild fried chicken like the wild fired egg gives live birth to her young.

It is well known that if you capture a wild fried chicken and hold it up to your ear its body cavity will select sounds from the environment that happen to be in the resonant frequency of the wild fried chicken in quetion. Some adults in an attempt to be whimsical, will tell children that this is the sound of the spattering deep fryer in which the chicken was fried. In fact though, poultro-biologists have discovered that the resonant frequency of a given wild fried chicken is an excellent measurement of what?

 

[Math Is Hard]

In fact though, poultro-biologists have discovered that the resonant frequency of a given wild fried chicken is an excellent measurement of what?

I think this measurement is in direct proportion to the number of Native Nevadan Desert Jellyfish one has licked before one goes frolicking through the woods putting wild fried chickens to his/her ear.

If a Wild Fried Chicken is steadily vibrated at its resonant frequency, will this cause the chicken to shatter into McNuggets?

 

[zoobyshoe]

If a Wild Fried Chicken is steadily vibrated at its resonant frequency, will this cause the chicken to shatter into McNuggets?

No, McNuggets can only be created by bombarding a wild fried chicken with high voltage french fries that have been once or twice around the big, expensive types of particle accelerators. This knocks the fried chickens down into their component McNuggets. Then McNugget physicists study the greasy spiral trails and determine what kind of McNugget each one is. So far over 100 different kinds of McNuggets have been identified and there's no end in sight.


In spite of the fact that the wild fried egg has been known to poultro-biologists since there discovery in 1985 is still hasn't been determined if the wild scrambled egg is the senescent, final stage of the wild fried egg, or if it is a separate species. Gaps in basic knowledge like this shows that wild fried egg research has always been under-funded and unappreciated by institutions of higher learning. The many fried and scrambled egg breakfasts that have been organized to raise money for this research have somehow ended up being counter-productive. How can we get the word out that the wild fried egg needs to be studied before he nocturnally roving herds of weird, purple jellyfish displace it forever into ecological niches where it may not be able to survive?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Jellyfish will take their natural dominant place in the eco-system, as their adaptive biological abilities have shown them to be superior to the evolutionary capabilities of wild fried eggs.
That in mind, how certain is it, that jellyfish will soon displace the population of carnegie hall pianists?

 

[zoobyshoe]

That in mind, how certain is it, that jellyfish will soon displace the population of carnegie hall pianists?

Although it is true that one member of one species of jellyfish native to the island lakes of Palau was recently observed playing the piano, the truth seems to be that most of them prefer the transverse flute. The ones that really seem to constitute a threat are those that have taken up conducting.

To discover the spring constant k of a jellyfish's tentacle it is only necessary to suspend the animal from the ceiling and hang a mass whose force in Newtons under the acceleration of gravity is known, measure the displacement by subtracting tentacle length ₂ from tentacle length ₁, and to plug the results into the following formula: k=F/d, where d = displacement, k = spring constant, and F = force in Newtons. What do you suppose is the best way to get a jellyfish to cooperate with this excercise?

 

[BoulderHead]

What do you suppose is the best way to get a jellyfish to cooperate with this excercise?

By appealing to its thrill for scientific discovery. If that doesn’t work, attempt to bribe by offering an honorary title.

If ice milk is artificial ice cream, what would artificial ice milk be ?

 

[hypnagogue]

If ice milk is artificial ice cream, what would artificial ice milk be ?

Artificially artificial ice cream.

What word sounds stranger when repeated in sequence than 'artificial'?

 

[Megus]

Artificially artificial ice cream.

What word sounds stranger when repeated in sequence than 'artificial'?

the strangest artificial ...

 

[motai]

Artificially artificial ice cream.

What word sounds stranger when repeated in sequence than 'artificial'?

creating creating creating creating creating creating

What would happen if someone created a crater while creating his own creatine milkshake?

 

[jimmy p]

he would create a mess.


what would happen if someone created a crater while creating his own creatine milkshake STRANGELY??

 

[zoobyshoe]

what would happen if someone created a crater while creating his own creatine milkshake STRANGELY??

It's funny you should ask that quetion because once, when I was flopping around like a landed trout, having just slid down the side of a large crater, STRANGELY, I noticed a polish aviator of my aquaintence crawling on all fours out of the airplane he had just demolished in the making of the crater, and we retired to the nearest fast food establishment for a milkshake consisting completely of authentic artificial ingredients.

Since almost every fast food establishment has now included the new completely artificially flavored weird, purple jellyfish milkshake on their menu, weird purple jellyfish everywhere have breathed a sigh of relief. Why is it no one seems concerned about the welfare of the free range herds of artificial weird, purple jellyfish who are being slaughtered by the millions merely to delight America's taste buds?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Because we are a selfish and uncaring society.

Why is it that jellyfish, like bad pennies, always turn up?

 

[hypnagogue]

Why is it that jellyfish, like bad pennies, always turn up?

Because, like bad pennies, when you see one of the floor you can't turn it down.

What attribute of pennies makes them 'pen-like'?

 

[Math Is Hard]

It's a little known fact that if you turn a penny on it's edge, and press down really hard, you can write with it. (just like a pen - only different)

why is a nickel twice as big as a dime if it's worth half as much?

 

[zoobyshoe]

why is a nickel twice as big as a dime if it's worth half as much?

The nickel is large because it is on the verge of splitting into two dimes by asexual reproduction. It's worth less, before it splits, because it is younger and less experienced.

Speaking of coins: once, when I was at work surveying some ancient ruins that were to be mapped for historical research, the ground beneath my feet suddenly gave way and I found myself sliding down an inclined shaft away from the sunlight and into a dark, cool, stale, mysterious place below. Whipping out the 2000 watt flashlight I had ordered through the Coast to Coast program, and which I always carried with me in broad daylight, because it is also a radio, I quickly flicked on my favorite station, and sat down to wait to be rescued. After an hour or so, my eyes became accustomed to the dark and I began to make out the figure of what looked like an old woman huddled against the wall of the other side of the chamber I was in. Soon it was clear she was engaged in some knitting. Later it could be discerned that she was knitting something I couldn't make out. Later, it was completely clear that what she was knitting was totally obscure.
About an hour later, she uncrossed her legs, and nudged at what looked like a heap of indeterminate properties that was on the floor of the chamber in front of her. "Penny! Penny! she said, "Wake up and try this on, now!" The heap stirred and elevated itself from the ground, and revealed itself to be a weird, purple jellyfish. She held the garment for it while it sleepily slipped it's tentacles into all the tentacle sleeves, and then she buttoned up the front. "Looks pretty good!" the old woman said. The weird, purple jellyfish just yawned. Why is it that a quarter, which is worth five times as much as a nickle, only turns up like a bad penny, when the nickles are wooden, since if you bite a doubloon to make sure it is really gold, that's a pretty penny in dental work if it turns out not to be, but if a pennywise jellyfishfoolish fool bites a jellyfish, he will have no pennies saved for a rainy day because a jellyfish saved from cold on a rainy day with a nice sweater is money in the bank?

 

[Math Is Hard]

I believe you have asked more than one quetion within that question and therefore the only suitable anser to all of the above is "because Mr. Robin Parsons has to declared it to be so and therefore it is so".

Funny that you mention jellyfish... the other day I was preparing a recipe my physics teacher had given me for kung pao jellyfish and I couldn't find quite the right pan to cook them in. I had a single burner mini-stove on hand, but my teacher insisted that authentic Chinese cookware would only produce the even-heating desired for preparing the dish.

What do you do when you're stuck between a wok and a hot plate?

 

[zoobyshoe]

What do you do when you're stuck between a wok and a hot plate?

Don't proceed to complain about your situation till you perform this test: lean way over and sniff your toes. If you can't stand your feet then get on with your bichin'.

Funny you should mention the ancient Chinese martial art of Kung Pao...the other day, as I was strolling through Chinatown, I was recognized as a zoobie and stared at everywhere I went. Pretty soon a very rough looking gentleman with a pock-marked visage, a bald head, and the tattoo of the Kung Pao monastery on his neck began, not so sureptitiously to follow me around. Being nervous, since I was out of my usual, brushy habitat, I looked for some means of shaking him off. Percieving my intent, he began to follow more and more closely, till he was right behind me. In desperation I turned and attempted to enter a bric a brac shop, but my entry was blocked by a large man, also bald, sporting a painfull looking cicatrice down his left cheek, and also bearing the Kung Pao tattoo.

What do you do when you're caught between a pocked and a scarred face?