Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[jimmy p]

Introduce the two people to each other, get them talking about make up to cover up their blemishes and sneak out.

Whilst preparing the Zoob delicacy of Purple jellyfish pie, I was arguing with a chef online as to what the main constituent of the gravy inside should be. He insisted on using an oxo cube whereas I remembered that Zoobs like the taste of animal fat

What do you do when you're caught between stock and a lard base?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Whilst preparing the Zoob delicacy of Purple jellyfish pie, I was arguing with a chef online as to what the main constituent of the gravy inside should be. He insisted on using an oxo cube whereas I remembered that Zoobs like the taste of animal fat

What do you do when you're caught between stock and a lard base?

Thanks for the pie, Jimmy. Your unfortunate tiff with the chef reminds me of the lowly ditchdigger who decided to pursue his dream of becoming a cowboy. At the first roundup, however, he found himself to be too tenderhearted to apply the hot iron to the calves flanks. His harsh boss fired him on the spot, saying "If you can't brand the meat, then get back to your ditchin'!"

In 1861, in his declining years, Electromagnetism genius Michael Fairedey discovered what was perhaps his most important discovery, which is that, if you apply a jellyfish to the left side of a person's head, a current to the right side, arrange a North-South magnetic field along the shortest dimension of the jellyfish, shine some polarized light in the person's ears, and then instruct the person to blow upon a lighted candle, the price of peas in the remote English village of Squatting by Turditch will drop by precisely tuppence a ton, no matter where in Great Britain the setup is arranged. However, the governing coucil of Squatting asked him please to stop performing the demonstration, and knowledge of this effect fell by the wayside. Later, though, mathemetician, and Fairedaey admirer, Maxwell S. Hammer, sat down and worked out a system of remarkable formulas that completely explain The Squatting Effect and all its ramifications. In light of Hammer's formula's, what do you suppose would happen if the Elders of Squatting ever relaxed the prohibition on the demonstration?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

You would Hammer a Squatting Elder of course!

But this raises the question, if a Squatting elder is Hammered, is this always an issue of peas?

 

[zoobyshoe]

But this raises the question, if a Squatting elder is Hammered, is this always an issue of peas?

M.S.Hammer covered the Squatting pea configuration in the second two of his equations. Hammered or not, the Elders, all being men, don't figure into these.


Maxwell S.Hammer, of course, is also well known for a very minor idea he once proposed, which is that if a small entity were placed in charge of the door of the Pub in Squatting on Turditch, and only opened the door inward to those who were sober, and only opened it outward to those who were hammered, then he might with no expenditure of energy, create a situation where all the sober people were inside the pub, and all the drunks, outside. This door opening and closing entity later became known as Hammer's Door Slammer. Regardless, there seemed to be a flaw in his logic. Could such a separation of the drunk and sober actually occur? Physicists often propose explanations as to why it couldn't as a mental excercize. What's yours?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

M.S.Hammer covered the Squatting pea configuration in the second two of his equations. Hammered or not, the Elders, all being men, don't figure into these.


Maxwell S.Hammer, of course, is also well known for a very minor idea he once proposed, which is that if a small entity were placed in charge of the door of the Pub in Squatting on Turditch, and only opened the door inward to those who were sober, and only opened it outward to those who were hammered, then he might with no expenditure of energy, create a situation where all the sober people were inside the pub, and all the drunks, outside. This door opening and closing entity later became known as Hammer's Door Slammer. Regardless, there seemed to be a flaw in his logic. Could such a separation of the drunk and sober actually occur? Physicists often propose explanations as to why it couldn't as a mental excercize. What's yours?

you know this is a thinly veiled reference to Max Weldemo’n - the French door opener who was often confused with being a French-Door opener, and this gets into the true roots of Jeffersonian Democracy so we won’t get into that right now…in fact I see why you were trying to avoid the issue. Let’s consider only Demo’n – generally known as the Turditch Demo’n.

As they say, Nature abhors the Turditch Demo’n. There can be little doubt however that when we speak of the Turditch Demo’n, we are talking physics – lots of physics. In fact, only by using physics can we finally expel the Turditch Demo’n. Since this clearly goes beyond the scope of this discussion, I will refer you to the famous Turditch Paper. With this I think the issue of Turditch is wiped clean.

Funny enough, Demo’n was a Star Trek fan and he often appeared in full costume. Do you know his species; one familiar from the show?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Funny enough, Demo’n was a Star Trek fan and he often appeared in full costume. Do you know his species; one familiar from the show?

All who are familiar with the fascinating footnote to the history of Physics represented by Demo'n know the anser to that quetion: Klingon, and they also know of Demo'n's eccentric habit of referring to himself when so attired, not as a Klingon, but as a Dingleberry.


Your reference to Jeffersonian Democracy opens the way to a discussion of the physics research of that other great early American, Ben Cracklin, who, perhaps a bit foolishly, launched a large kite up into a thunderstorm with a conducting line and a key attached, in the hope of creating an aerial navigation hazard that would cause a UFO to crash so he could examine it. The jar he had prepared in which to store the downed UFO, a special configuration of metal and glass invented some decades earlier in the Dutch city of Leyden, and which we now refer to as a Cracklin UFO jar was the forerunner of the modern condenser (i.e.trash compactor) and forms a part of most modern debunking operations. As history records, Cracklin succeeded in capturing a small UFO in his jar, and it is now on display for all to see at the Smithsonian. What did Cracklin discover the UFO to be?

 

[jimmy p]

Interestingly enough the UFO that Ben Cracklin managed to lure to the ground turned out to be a small tray of raspberry puddings.

A new quetion arises from this point. HOW did Cracklin tempt the UFO to earth?

 

[zoobyshoe]

A new quetion arises from this point. HOW did Cracklin tempt the UFO to earth?

That's what the key was for: it was the key to his hotel room.

Cracklin's discovery that the upper atmosphere is highly charged with raspberry pudding was nearly simultaneously made and documented by a Russian researcher, who, while he had the forsight to write his findings down, made the error of consuming the evidence, and lost his place in the history books. Physics is, in fact, full of these strange near- simultaneous discoveries by separate people not in communication with each other, and the story of how history comes to favor the discovery of one over the other is fascinating. Can you think of any others?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Absolutely - consider the similarity of Newton disovering the Choculus and writing down his formulae on a Hershey bar which he absent-mindedly consumed later. Leibniz, however, was forever counting calories and wrote his theories down on vellum. Still, both have received credit for the invention of these methods.

can you think of any others?

 

[jimmy p]

There was the calamitous event where Ampere tested the conductivity of cucumbers in ethanoic acid. It was quite a pickle. Or when Rutherford followed up his famous quotation "it was like firing a shell at a sheet of paper and watching it bounce back". Quite explosive results.

Seeing as we are on the subject of scientific experiments, what is the best antivenom for weird purple jellyfish stings?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Seeing as we are on the subject of scientific experiments, what is the best antivenom for weird purple jellyfish stings?

Hmmm. I think I see what you're getting at here: inventor Thomas Headison's 36,457 unsuccessful attempts to find the weird, purple jellyfish antivenin by process of elimination. Many people feel that he was psychologically blocked from attaining his goal because sweating is one of the main symptoms of the sting, and Headison, as is well known, was fond of perspiration. Regardless, his efforts were rendered moot when one of his hired men, a bright, young immigrant from Serbia, sat down and calculated the constituents of the antivenin in about ten minutes of work. Headison, delighted with something new to patent, rewarded the young man by firing him. "We don't use math here at the Headison company." Headison remarked.

For five long years eccentric, obsessed inventor Charles "One Trick Pony" Goodmonth toiled to find a way to harness the flexibility, and waterproof qualities, of the weird, purple jellyfish into a material that would be of practical use in our everyday lives. He spent hours everyday poking at jellyfish and watching them jiggle, his mind inflamed with dreams of what they could be made into, while his poor family nearly starved to death. Then one day in 1839 he accidently dropped a weird, purple jellyfish onto a hot stove where there was a puddle of spilled sulphur. The two united into the substance he had been seeking all these long years. Picking up a bit of the flexible putty, he went to the mirror and molded it onto his ears, sculpting them into points. "Vulcanization!" he cried.

Name some other Star Trek characters who are based on real life personages from the history of Jellitivity.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Obvious metaphor: Tribbles = Jellyfish

Why do virtually all Chinese physicists reject the Theory of Jellativity? Which do you think is more difficult for them - the concept, or the pronounciation of Weird Purple Jellyfish?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Why do virtually all Chinese physicists reject the Theory of Jellativity? Which do you think is more difficult for them - the concept, or the pronounciation of Weird Purple Jellyfish?

As the great Cantonese physics teacher, Richard Chineynman said "Wha? You think I no can say `Weah poopo jerryfish?'"

In general the Chinese resistence to Jellytivity is more based on their objections to playing with your food than anything else.

Speaking of Chineynman, is it true he is so respected here that a person can post the most absurd, idiotic quetion but as long as they mention his name, experts mentors, and supermentors will line up to respond?

 

[BoulderHead]

Why do virtually all Chinese physicists reject the Theory of Jellativity?

Because it’s deliciousness was proven to be inconsistent…

Which do you think is more difficult for them - the concept, or the pronounciation of Weird Purple Jellyfish?

Sorry, that makes two questions, muwahaha!

What’s the difference between a purple jellyfish and a Portugese Man-O-War ?

[edit; oops, Zooby beat me out, scratch my question]

 

[zoobyshoe]

[edit; oops, Zooby beat me out, scratch my question]

Boulderhead and family:
Address:http://www.so-utah.com/capitol/goblin/homepage.html

 

[zoobyshoe]

Speaking of Chineynman, is it true he is so respected here that a person can post the most absurd, idiotic quetion but as long as they mention his name, experts mentors, and supermentors will line up to respond?

 

[BoulderHead]

Speaking of Chineynman, is it true he is so respected here that a person can post the most absurd, idiotic quetion but as long as they mention his name, experts mentors, and supermentors will line up to respond?

I dunno, but I am aquainted with a Chineyman who sell 'dollar chicken' from his shop window.

BoulderHead going for a swim;
http://thailandforvisitors.com/south/samui/sights/fullsize/grandpool.jpg

What does it mean when the palm of your hand itches?

 

[zoobyshoe]

What does it mean when the palm of your hand itches?

1st symptom of the 36 hour zoobonic plague. To be followed by fever, chills, headache, projectile vomiting (ballistic), projectile vomiting (non-ballistic), and, projectile vomiting (relativistic).


What is this "QED" by Richard Chineynman I hear so much about? What is that, anyway?

 

[BoulderHead]

What is this "QED" by Richard Chineynman I hear so much about? What is that, anyway?

I don't know either but hope someone will shed some Light on the Matter.


Very distant relative;
http://www.msss.com/mars_images/moc/extended_may2001/face/face_e03-824_proc_i.gif


Is a strange theory better than no theory at all?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Very distant relative;
http://www.msss.com/mars_images/moc/extended_may2001/face/face_e03-824_proc_i.gif
Poor guy's caught between a pocked and a scarred face.

Is a strange theory better than no theory at all?

Strangely, I have a theory about that: it seems to me that a man wthout a theory is caught in the same predicament as a horse without moose antlers; you can lead him to water, but he will have no flying squirrel companions.


Speaking of mars, squirrels, moose, horses and water, there was a time, not so log ago, when a man used to be able to pick up a newspaper for 35 cents, take it home, pop it in the microwave, and feed on it for a week like some giant, wingless, paperwasp. Now everything's becoming more and more electronic, and a guy can't hardly find a real newpaper anymore. What do you suggest?


P.S. Boulderhead dressed as President Kennedy for Halloween:

Address:http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Delphi/8338/Faces/labels/JFK.html

 

[Math Is Hard]

Have you tried placing your paper on the George Foreman grill? dee- licious!

What I am really wondering about is if the transit of Venus tomorrow morning is astrologically auspicious for takers of mid-term exams tomorrow night?

 

[BoulderHead]

What I am really wondering about is if the transit of Venus tomorrow morning is astrologically auspicious for takers of mid-term exams tomorrow night?

I thought about that to the point it felt my head would explode;
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Delphi/8338/Faces/labels/Pompador.html
...and finally concluded that so long as the takers don’t catch a glimpse of her heavenly body they shouldn't be distracted from the exam.

But what will happen to the test scores if students should glimpse seventh planet from the Sun instead?

 

[jimmy p]

They would get the same marks as pupils that glimpsed at a full moon.

What would happen if a full moon eclispsed Uranus?

 

[zoobyshoe]

What would happen if a full moon eclispsed Uranus?

Eclisped? Then: a diet and speech therapy.


What if nothing at all in particular is visible due to a transient high concentration of raspberry pudding charges in the upper atmosphere?

 

[jimmy p]

Eclisped? Then: a diet and speech therapy.


What if nothing at all in particular is visible due to a transient high concentration of raspberry pudding charges in the upper atmosphere?

Well then we wouldn't have to look at anything through rose tinted sunglasses.

How would a "silver lining" on a cloud be determined if everything in the atmosphere looks raspberry pudding coloured?

 

[zoobyshoe]

How would a "silver lining" on a cloud be determined if everything in the atmosphere looks raspberry pudding coloured?

This would require the use of an AgAplex S3400 silver lining detector, a large, heavy piece of equipment which only exists at present in permanent installation form (non-portable), and which costs in excess of $15,000 in electricity each time they simply flick it on.


Speaking of silver, eclispes, electricity, pudding and sunglasses: it used to be that a guy could go out and for $20 dollars buy enough gas to bring home and run his reverse gravity, double zero point, perpetual unipolar permanent magnet free energy generating machine for a full two weeks. Now he can barely get enough free energy out of it to last a day for $20. Any suggestions?

 

[jimmy p]

Speaking of silver, eclispes, electricity, pudding and sunglasses: it used to be that a guy could go out and for $20 dollars buy enough gas to bring home and run his reverse gravity, double zero point, perpetual unipolar permanent magnet free energy generating machine for a full two weeks. Now he can barely get enough free energy out of it to last a day for $20. Any suggestions?

Well, I have heard of recent experiments headed by the great scientist Ned Whitting who are trying to reap the benefits of the energy in raspberry puddings. At the moment, there are setbacks as the fuel required to power the projectiles needed to collect the raspberry puddings costs more than the amount of energy the raspberry puddings produce.

In light of the recent experiments, Ned Whitting has asked on many science-based websites if they can suggest a suitable fuel for his raspberry pudding collections. What are the best weather conditions for sending airplanes into the sky bearing in mind that raspberry pudding storms cause serious damage to planes with diabetic pilots?

 

[zoobyshoe]

What are the best weather conditions for sending airplanes into the sky bearing in mind that raspberry pudding storms cause serious damage to planes with diabetic pilots?

Actually, I think the matter of windshield wipers is a more pressing concern in this endeavor.


Why not simply erect a very tall tower upon which Ned Whitting can perch with a bucket to catch the raspberry pudding, and pour it through a funnel into a pipe that will convey it down to a storage recepticle at the bottom?

 

[jimmy p]

Why not simply erect a very tall tower upon which Ned Whitting can perch with a bucket to catch the raspberry pudding, and pour it through a funnel into a pipe that will convey it down to a storage recepticle at the bottom?

They tried that before. Unfortunately a blockage occurred in the pipe running down to the ground, which caused the pudding-pipe to topple. However the staple building blocks for the tower were matchsticks.

Due to this occurence, the team decided that it would be best not to make a tower, until a decent resource could be found. Instead they are planning on using a Dilithium pudding-pump to extract the valuable energy. What is the main problem with this method of extraction?

 

[Gokul43201]

Instead they are planning on using a Dilithium pudding-pump to extract the valuable energy. What is the main problem with this method of extraction?

If the dilithium pump parameters are not carefully monitored, the dilithium could go active, causing the entire pump housing to be propelled away at warp speed.

But then, would it be such a bad thing for pudding to boldly go where no dessert has gone before ?

 

[zoobyshoe]

But then, would it be such a bad thing for pudding to boldly go where no dessert has gone before ?

Goodness, it could be a calamity! What if the pudding projectile plopped down on a planet that was inhabitd by an underdeveloped species, not sufficiently advanced to grasp the ramifications of this sweet treat? It would be a violation of the Prime Directive.


Speaking of sweets, calamities, species, pumps, and energy, time was when a guy could go out and but a large bag of potato chips for about a dollar, bring 'em home, and feed 'em to his pet giraffe-necked, loggerhead-flippered, amphibious mutant tree sloth, and everyone was happy. Now the price of chips has gone up to 3 or 4 dollars a bag, and the average giraffe-necked, loggerhead-flippered, amphibious mutant tree sloth owner can hardly afford his pet anymore. Any suggestions?

 

[BoulderHead]

Speaking of sweets, calamities, species, pumps, and energy, time was when a guy could go out and but a large bag of potato chips for about a dollar, bring 'em home, and feed 'em to his pet giraffe-necked, loggerhead-flippered, amphibious mutant tree sloth, and everyone was happy. Now the price of chips has gone up to 3 or 4 dollars a bag, and the average giraffe-necked, loggerhead-flippered, amphibious mutant tree sloth owner can hardly afford his pet anymore. Any suggestions?

Only one; Leave it on the front porch of a house located in a wealthy neighborhood, ring the doorbell, then run quickly back to the car...

How would this leave you feeling if the price of chips were suddenly to drop and you just couldn't stop thinking about that bratty little child who opened the door owning your giraffe-necked, loggerhead-flippered, amphibious mutant tree sloth?

 

[zoobyshoe]

How would this leave you feeling if the price of chips were suddenly to drop and you just couldn't stop thinking about that bratty little child who opened the door owning your giraffe-necked, loggerhead-flippered, amphibious mutant tree sloth?

Well, leaving it there was my decision, and choice so there would be no one left to blame in my mind but that bratty little kid.

Grampa Boulderhead, Founder of the Clan:
Address:http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Delphi/8338/Faces/labels/Wilson.html

Speking of brats, blame, giraffes, turtles, and amphibians, used to be a guy could go out and pick up a couple of flashlight batteries for $1.50, bring 'em home, crack 'em open with a hammer, smear the black stuff inside all over his body, and run up and down the stairs shouting "I'm Johnny-Cake Johnny! That's who I am! I'm Johnny-Cake Johnny!", and everyone was happy. Now, a couple of batteries will set you back 4-5 bucks, and who can afford that? Any suggestions?

 

[BoulderHead]

Speking of brats, blame, giraffes, turtles, and amphibians, used to be a guy could go out and pick up a couple of flashlight batteries for $1.50, bring 'em home, crack 'em open with a hammer, smear the black stuff inside all over his body, and run up and down the stairs shouting "I'm Johnny-Cake Johnny! That's who I am! I'm Johnny-Cake Johnny!", and everyone was happy. Now, a couple of batteries will set you back 4-5 bucks, and who can afford that? Any suggestions?

Only one; purchase the non-alkaline types because hammering little dents into them (I prefer biting) will actually put some life back into the things.



BoulderHead out with 'the boys';


Note; I will need to remove this link after a few minutes, hehe.


Are public restroom vending machines good for avoiding anything?

 

[zoobyshoe]

BoulderHead out with 'the boys';
http://www.bitoffun.com/images/wei-Hard_as_a_Rock.jpg

Note; I will need to remove this link after a few minutes, hehe.

Why? Can't keep it up?

hehehehehe

Are public restroom vending machines good for avoiding anything?

Bar owners frequently avoid having their legs broken by placing those machines in their bathrooms, yes.


Recently, while practising the ancient art of dowsing, I succeeded in finding no fewer than 14 pairs of old dowsing rods. Any explanations?





Boulderhead trying to be surreptitious:
Address:http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Delphi/8338/Faces/labels/Grafton.html