Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[zoobyshoe]

How do you do that fancy card-shuffling trick?

In reading this quetion I was strangely fascinated by your employment of the adjective "fancy". It's not a complex or unusual word, but stands out for being on the verge of going out of fashion. Anyway, before proceeding I consulted the dictionary to refamiliarize myself with its shades of meaning, but in the course of that I noticed, and became fascinated by, the word, fantod which I'd never heard before:

Main Entry: fan·tod
Pronunciation: 'fan-"täd
Function: noun
Etymology: perhaps alteration of English dialect fantique, fanteeg, perhaps blend of fantastic and fatigue
1 plural a : a state of irritability and tension b : FIDGETS
2 : an emotional outburst : FIT

Now, I thought that was interesting because I recently had the misfortune of being on the receiving end of a fantod (definition #2) when I was cornered in a dark thread by a lunatic who screeched: "You keep avoiding the questions. Your posts are filled with half-lies and quasi-sensical propaganda. You are only capable of presenting your skewed, slanted, segregated, superstitious views."

So, to address your quetion, I'm not allowed to tell you how it's done, but I can keep making the card you played show up, over and over, indefinitely, first in your pocket, then in your beer bottle, then in your shoe, and so forth.

Which brings us, logically, to how the mayor and butcher got shuffled next to each other, despite their mutual dislike.

Anyone see now how it was done?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Which brings us, logically, to how the mayor and butcher got shuffled next to each other, despite their mutual dislike.

Anyone see now how it was done?

For many years, scientists believed that bakers were evolutionary descendents of butchers. Bakers assumed themselves genetically superior and the butchers naturally resented it. It wasn't until 1973 that the drunken archeologist, Philogenous Phloi stumbled into a deep pit on a night time digging expedition, and accidentally discovered the remains of an early hominid alongside tools for carving meat, slicing bread, and melting beef tallow. This Phloidian slip revealed that the butcher, baker, and candlestick maker all evolved from a common ancestor.

I bet you didn't know it is a misdemeanor to mark mustaches on mischievious minors in Montana, did you?

 

[zoobyshoe]

I bet you didn't know it is a misdemeanor to mark mustaches on mischievious minors in Montana, did you?

I did know, yes, having found out the hard way. However, in my defense, let me place before the court this photographic evidence that the Montanese minors mentioned were mostly matured by the moustches, making them mannish, much modifying their minority mannerisms:

------------------

That may be the first time a stupid anser was accompanied by an illustrative photograph.

Should we stop now before it becomes a habit?

 

[tribdog]

Should we stop now before it becomes a habit?

http://imageigloo.com/images/9623yes.jpg

Is it too late?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Is it too late?

I would say so. The trend seems to have gone global:

and victims are getting younger:
http://ginoruberto.5u.com/E-Gino's%20Birthday%20Picture%20with%20Mustache.JPG

Should we ban the sale of eyeliner pencils?

 

[Yonoz]

I would say so. The trend seems to have gone global:

and victims are getting younger:
http://ginoruberto.5u.com/E-Gino's%20Birthday%20Picture%20with%20Mustache.JPG

Should we ban the sale of eyeliner pencils?

Absolutely not. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/624272.stm" !

How many pencils fit on a lorry?

 

[zoobyshoe]

How many pencils fit on a lorry?

It's funny you should ask that quetion because just the other day when I was staring up at a structure known as the "Space Needle" in the city of Seattle, Washington, U.S.A. I was violently accosted by a sort of crazed, mad cow disease sufferer who got all up in my face shouting "Say, you're a zoobie, aren't you? How many brush shelters could you fit on the space needle?"

"Well", I said, "At least one. I see someone has built one up there already."

"What the hell're you talkin' about?" he queried. "Where?"

"Right up there." I pointed indistinctly in the general direction of the tower.

"I don't see it."

"Well, squint and study it meticulously. Remember: essentially, you're looking for a haystack in a needle."
------------------

Recently when looking through a bookstack for a beatle, I found the following bit of book copied in my own hand on a piece of paper:

"Paris, France, 1839. Turmoil, riots, inflamed mobs surging through the streets with torches and clubs chanting "Kill the monster! Kill the Monster!" Slowly they make their way toward the studio of Monsieur Daguerre, inventor of the first viable photographic process, intent on burning his demon laboratory and pulling him to the guillotene for a traditional French execution.

These are the artists of Paris and his photographic technology has put them out of work, rendered them moot, reduced weeks of work to a few seconds. They must squelch it or starve. If photography catches on the painters and etchers of the world will go extinct..."

-The Great 1839 Photography Riots
by Claude de la Mouche
Cheval Jaune, publisher, Paris, 1839
Illustrated with daguerreotypes by Daguerre

I can't for the life of me remember these riots and whether or not the mobs were able to rid the world of the scourge of photography.

How did it turn out?

 

[scott1]

How did it turn out?

Simple your ancentors are form France and they still had realtives in france. When your ancentors realtives sent them news articles about it and they kept it.Why was Monsieur Daguerre called a monster?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Why was Monsieur Daguerre called a monster?

Simple your ancentors are form France and they still had realtives in france. When your ancentors realtives sent them news articles about it and they kept it.

Recently, when I was hard at work on my new painting Portrait of a Zoobie Painting a Scene from the Great Photography Riots of 1839 or Night Of The Fantod, I was dismayed to discover I was out of the necessary color Fantod Purple. Jumping up from my canvas, I rushed out into the street, ran left, took the first subway, emerged from the earth, and joined the throngs of other artists on their way to the studio of Monsieur Daguerre to burn it to the ground and save our livelihood. As we slowly snaked our way through the streets of Paris' left bank, the sound of our chanting proceeded us and echoed through the allys and sewers, where operatic phantoms gnawed the score of Tchaikovski's Sylvania and crazed, mad cow disease suffering loiterers waited for the next stranger to accost.

Up ahead somewhere, Daguerre was erecting his tripod ready to catch our image in one last fanatical act of photographism before he was decapitated. Brushes held pointing forward like swords and our palettes serving as shields we advanced like so many insectile, absinthe disorganized, bubble bursters and flowed on the riverine current of history toward the final showdown between art and photography that settled the matter once and for all, and whose story is known to every schoolchild.

Who was it won again?

 

[turbo]

Who was it won again?

The impressionists won as everyone knows. Daguerre's process was very slow, requiring that people sitting for portraits rest their skulls in braces and assume a frozen expression to get a sharp portrait. The mad oncoming rush of painters was captured as a vague, fatalistic blur against a tack-sharp street scene, but this tour de force was unappreciated by the contemporary French critics. They assumed that the blur and lack of definition was what drew them to the image, without appreciating the dichotomy between subject and foreground. This set back the appreciation of photography as art for over a century (at least in France) and even now Photoshop contains filters to blur and otherwise contaminate nice images to make them look like heavily-daubed paintings made by near-sighted Frenchmen. You are a Philistine!

Who was Daguerre's type?

 

[Pythagorean]

The impressionists won as everyone knows. Daguerre's process was very slow, requiring that people sitting for portraits rest their skulls in braces and assume a frozen expression to get a sharp portrait. The mad oncoming rush of painters was captured as a vague, fatalistic blur against a tack-sharp street scene, but this tour de force was unappreciated by the contemporary French critics. They assumed that the blur and lack of definition was what drew them to the image, without appreciating the dichotomy between subject and foreground. This set back the appreciation of photography as art for over a century (at least in France) and even now Photoshop contains filters to blur and otherwise contaminate nice images to make them look like heavily-daubed paintings made by near-sighted Frenchmen.

Who was Daguerre's type?

http://www.daguerre.org/opendag4.html

is this a stupid question?

 

[turbo]

http://www.daguerre.org/opendag4.html

is this a stupid question?

Ah, you have linked to a tinted ambrotype, in which a glass photograhic image is hand-colored and is mounted over a dark background. I don't think your stupid "quetion" is sufficiently stupid to warrant a reply from this august body. You may submit another or risk approbation. Of course, given your location and isolation, you may welcome a visit by MIH to get beaten to a pulp with a salmon. (frozen if she doesn't get a favorable first impression) I am still on friendly terms with MIH, but only because I have forgiven her for the tough love, and I didn't end up with too many fractures. You should pray that she uses a fresh river-caught Atlantic Salmon and not a frozen Chum or King. She's got a wicked swing

Can Carole King be your chum?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Can Carole King be your chum?

It's a fishy quetion that suggests the image of salmon struggling upstream searching for an elusive musical connection that they won't find. What they are sure to find, though, is a Starbuck's. Outside they will see four people sitting around a table playing an interesting new board game. One player is quite chummy, and hums. That, therefore, is Carole King. Another player is squinting at the board giving the impression he can't quite make it out. That, therefore, is Monet. The third player is making his move, a risky one that might elicit approbation. The fourth player is doodling a sketch of the whole scene from a point of view outside his own body, in which he, himself is depicted sketching the scene, and in which they are all observed by the salmon staring up from the river. He, therefore, is M.C. Escher.

When Escher's turn comes he shakes the dice and rolls them out onto the board. The rolling motion resolves into swimming and the dice have become two little spotted salmon swimming along a river printed on the game board. They swim to the edge of the board, off onto the table, drop to the ground, and swim to the river proper, where they join the school of observing salmon.

"I have the impression that's not allowed," says Monet. The risker rolls out the rule book, and Carole King conscientiously consults. Meanwhile the salmon swim away, not quite certain what just happened.

Why is approbation risky?

 

[turbo]

Why is approbation risky?

Consider the source and the irreparable damage that such approbation might cause, should it become public knowledge. If one cannot manage to offend just about everyone at once, one's communicative abilities are called into question, since none of us here are actually "normal" enough to be acceptable company. It's funny that you brought Monet into this, since his insipid daubings are unfit even for wallpaper. Carole King wrote "Up on the Roof" in a vain attempt to lure him there so she could push him off and produce an abstract technicolor installation a la Jackson Pollock. Her scheme failed, and she fell into a morass of tapestries, herbal teas, and scented candles.

Did bitter arch-rival Judy Collins ever go to Marrakesh?

 

[Yonoz]

Did bitter arch-rival Judy Collins ever go to Marrakesh?

She did not as she was wanted by Marrakeesh-Kebab - the national security service - for alleged peadophilia. Peas are considered taboo in Marrakesh.
She did, however, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walk_to_Canossa#Historical_impact", where she did meet Otto von Bismarck. They had managed to hold a brief debate on the rights of future generation before King George V showed up and crippled Bismarck. Collins managed to get away on her Moovie. She was pursued by the flying Scotland Yard, but the Moovie's large wheels proved superior to her pursuers' biodiesel-powered pencil-laden lorries - which we discussed previously.
If this forum's moderator is named Evo, is the General Discussion forum on theologyforums.com moderated by Creatio?

 

[turbo]

If this forum's moderator is named Evo, is the General Discussion forum on theologyforums.com moderated by Creatio?

The moderator is nice, but since Harley has switched from the Evo to the Twin-Cam engines, she is a bit dated. That's not a bad thing, because if I got a killer deal on a Shovelhead or a Knucklehead, I'd pick it up in a heartbeat, but a guy can only take on one or two projects at a time. You've got to know your limits.

Is carbon dating any less risky than computer dating?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Is carbon dating any less risky than computer dating?

For a woman: no. Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

That reminds me of the young lady who was out on a date with a MacIntosh one evening at a nice restaurant. The computer let her order first, being a gentleman, and she indulged herself in ordering a healthy amount of comestibles. When his turn came he said, "Nothing for me but a plug into some 120 volt AC. This made the young lady feel gratuitously porcine, and she later exacted revenge by "accidently" spilling her wine onto his keyboard, pretty much destroying it.

Had they both only read "Macs are from Orchards, Women are from Venus" this computer/female misunderstand might never have arisen for they would both have understood that she'd have been better off with a lump of coal to stare at and think "If I just put enough frickin' pressure on him long enough he could turn into a diamond some day!"
----
I forgot to mention in an earlier post on the subject that the board game being played at Starbuck's was called "SalmonElla". The goal is to acquire ten points by giving food poisoning to as many of your opponents as possible. In addition to Ella, the Salmon, primary carrier of the pesky bacteria, characters include, a prince who must try to eat her before midnight when she's been laying out unrefridgerated on a platter at the Grand Ball just too long, and the Wicked Step Women, who cannot eat her before smoking her over the embers in their big fireplace. Ella, the Salmon, has ways to force or trick others into eating her at unsafe times, but she has to be careful when to play these cards since the poisoning can be transferred back to her by anyone secretly holding a card for that purpose. Poisoning someone else gets you a point and an extra turn. getting poisoned means you forfeit a point and a lose a turn. First player to make ten points wins.

Is it true there's a similar game called "Canned Spinach" or something?

 

[star.torturer]

there could be, but as this is sposed to be a stupid (ly long) answere, I am going to say ofcourse,

is it true that therres a moon around me, yse that s what i said?

 

[zoobyshoe]

is it true that therres a moon around me, yse that s what i said?

yse therres a moon around me? I am going to spose so ofcourse.

Recently when I was opening a can of spinch a 16 year old cloud of compressed, noxious gas sprayed into my face as soon as I broke through the steel with the can opener. The cloud whirled and spun, dazzling me, and then resolved itself into form of Popeye the Sailor, who then said "Ya gots three wishes. Whad'll it be?"

This, I realized, was one of the legendary Jinn; strange, uncovenanted spirits which had been captured and sealed in tins like this by Sulyman, the Great, and thrown into the ocean depths, where it was hoped they would never be found.

Now, when confronted by a wish-granting Jinn, one must be very, very careful. Like all wish-granters they specialize in granting the letter of your wish while also completely queering the pleasure or enjoyment the wish was actually intended to attain. Even noble wishes for things like world peace or a cure for cancer are twisted into mockeries by the unpleasant side effects the Jinn include in granting the wish. The Jinn are not to be trusted.

So, how do you stuff a two foot tall Popeye back into a can of spinach?

 

[Neohaven]

A blender and a heater... with a kinda big can.

Why do some guys answer 42 to anything?

 

[kant]

Woohoo, a brand new forum to post in! Just thought it didn't feel quite right without this here. So in the tradition of PF 2.0 ask a stupid "quetion" and get a stupid answer back.

So to begin... How long do you think it takes to reach a 1000 posts in this topic again?

It said that there is a corralation between penis size, and brain size. My question is: Does size matter?

 

[madcat11]

It said that there is a corralation between penis size, and brain size. My question is: Does size matter?

Matter, schmatter. Who cares what "it" said. (this being not the proper quetion either...)

By the way, who is "it"?

 

[hypatia]

Who ever I tag is "it"


Is it proper to use a blow gun when tagging from a distance?

 

[turbo]

Who ever I tag is "it"


Is it proper to use a blow gun when tagging from a distance?

As long as the dart is tipped with curare (tradition is important).

Why did the Dodge Dart?

 

[Math Is Hard]

As long as the dart is tipped with curare (tradition is important).

Why did the Dodge Dart?

It saw the Gremlin coming.

Is there really always room for Jello?

 

[turbo]

Is there really always room for Jello?

It depends on the volume of the bathtub and the displacement of the occupants (at least the parts of their bodies submerged in the Jello). Tubbing with J-Lo could save on Jello - Kate Moss could run up quite a Jello bill.

Why do desiccant packs in foods and medicines always say "Do not eat?"

 

[Mattara]

They're cooporating with wikipedia and the t-shirt creation foundation and will ultimately force all of their employees to wear this:

http://img165.imageshack.us/img165/3230/jitcrunchis1.jpg

or this:

http://img170.imageshack.us/img170/7639/jitcrunchrf7.jpg

How does this impact your life?

 

[hypatia]

Well being that they are white shirts, I will half to go buy the Clorox bleach pen...which means a trip to a store I don't like going to. A super mega-mart. Isle after isle of shiney bright lights, and holiday music playing{already}.
Will the shiney bright lights effect my S.A.D.?

 

[Mattara]

Well being that they are white shirts, I will half to go buy the Clorox bleach pen...which means a trip to a store I don't like going to. A super mega-mart. Isle after isle of shiney bright lights, and holiday music playing{already}.
Will the shiney bright lights effect my S.A.D.?

If, by S.A.D you mean Seasonal Affective Disorder, then you are absolutely correct. Research have shown that SAD is indeed affected by bright light and strong sound. That means no more LSD parties or playing UFO in the backyard with the drunken girls that couldn't catch a ride home for me.

What are some of the fundamental differences between LCD and LSD?

 

[DaxInvader]

The "C" and the "S"...

Why I'm I answering?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Why I'm I answering?

I can't explain why you're You answering because when I'm I answering it's It self evident and I'm I don't even think to wonder about it.

Regardless, or perhaps because of, this, you're You wrong. The difference between LCD (Leprechaunic Colon Disease) and LSD (Loose Sphincter Disorder) is subtle, but much more than alphabetical.

Recently when I was crawling crablike sideways through a narrow fissure in an earthquake partitioned edifice in the city of San Francisco, California, U.S.A. I slipped, unwittingly, through several unmarked perpendicular dimensions and arrived in a very cramped and under equipped, rank smelling bathroom-like structure that seemed to be constructed entirely of plastic. It was very hot. Taped to the wall was a sign that said "Stargate extras: please wash your hands with the hose you'll see to your left when you exit the porta-potty before returning to the set."

I thought it must be about the most ironic thing in the world that I had accidently traveled through an authentic stargate to arrive among people who were filming stories of a purely fictional stargate. I would have pondered this a bit more but someone who'd visited the porta-stargate before me had clearly had an LSD problem and it was desirable to vacate the place. Turning to open the door I discovered the bolt had been thrown to a locked position from the inside.

I hadn't done this, and if anyone else had they would still be there. Unless... I had displaced them upon arrival, sending them back to San Francisco.

So, did any of you suddenly find yourself standing in a large, cracked building with your trousers down around your ankles earlier today?

 

[metaquantum]

So, did any of you suddenly find yourself standing in a large, cracked building with your trousers down around your ankles earlier today?

i just can't remember!

AAARRARGGAGARHG

and why the (ugly word) would i ever click on a link that said http://www.PHYSICSforums.com ?

AAARGARGRAGRGHRGHRGGH

and why hasnt anybody shot me yet?

AGAGAHAHand why did i just ask 3 questions in a row?


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

[DaxInvader]

Ahh Viva stoopid questions..

For zoobyshoe, What would think my response would be.. when looking the name of the thread?

***

Why do you ask 3 questions in a row?? Who knows? And why?

ARGG I ASKED 3 QUESTIONS IN A ROW!

AAA

 

[turbo]

I will not answer 3 questions, nor will any other rule-abiding member of this board. Math is Hard has determined your physical location from your IP address, and will hunt you down to beat you with a 20-pound mackerel. Judging from the severity of your offense, she may be using a frozen one.

A chickadees and a whippoorwill can say their own names - why can't a tufted titmouse?

 

[Math Is Hard]

I will not answer 3 questions, nor will any other rule-abiding member of this board. Math is Hard has determined your physical location from your IP address, and will hunt you down to beat you with a 20-pound mackerel. Judging from the severity of your offense, she may be using a frozen one.

A chickadees and a whippoorwill can say their own names - why can't a tufted titmouse?

They can't stop giggling long enough to get it out.
note: how many beatings am I going to have to administer today? Geez. This is supposed to be my day off.

What does this drawing mean?

http://www.coasttocoastam.com/timages/page/Transmissions110106a1.jpg
http://www.coasttocoastam.com/gen/page1712.html?theme=light