Collection of Lame Jokes

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In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
  • #3,466
fresh_42 said:
And the only animal that wouldn't have any climatic problems at all over here, one of my absolutely well beloved dudes - they of all beasts didn't escape anywhere: Keas. :cool:

Ahh, the cheeky Kea ... known for stripping rubber surrounds and wiper blades from car. picking open backpacks etc
They are a native from my home country, New ZealandD
 
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  • #3,467
davenn said:
Ahh, the cheeky Kea ...
Sometimes I think they might be too smart to escape from the zoos: fellows at hand, food twice a day, full medical service, regular entertainment programs ...
 
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  • #3,468
There are 30 cows in a field.
28 chickens.
How many didn't?

(Need a clue? See one of my previous lame jokes.)
 
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  • #3,469
16997747_1475624349123300_1722056064550701389_n.jpg


... ohhh crap, not again !
 
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  • #3,470
16708673_1453758321309903_3822984125596169001_n.jpg
 
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  • #3,471
Caught off Fukushima, no doubt. :oldwink:
 
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  • #3,472
jtbell said:
Caught off Fukushima, no doubt. :oldwink:
Sounds definitely more like Sellafield. :cool:
 
  • #3,473
I don't want to know where the fish comes from. TMI
 
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  • #3,474
Hahaha, Fish'n'chips :D Clever.

Heard this one:
Where do animals go when their tails fall off?The retail store.

..hee ..hee.. hee..right?
 
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  • #3,475
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.You ask why I bought shoes from a drug dealer?
He was the sole supplier.
 
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  • #3,476
mfb said:
You ask why I bought shoes from a drug dealer?
He was the sole supplier.
There are lame jokes, and then there is this...
 
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  • #3,477
nuuskur said:
Where do animals go when their tails fall off?The retail store.

hahaha love it !

mfb said:
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
mfb said:
You ask why I bought shoes from a drug dealer?
He was the sole supplier.

brilliant

a good laugh from both you guys :DDDave
 
  • #3,478
nuuskur said:
Where do animals go when their tails fall off?The retail store.
And where do humans go when their hand falls off? The second hand shop.

But where do clocks go when their third hand falls off? The second hand shop.

You may need to think about that...
The 1st hand is the hour hand.
The 2nd hand is the minute hand.
The 3rd hand is the second hand.
 
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  • #3,479
DrGreg said:
And where do humans go when their hand falls off? The second hand shop.

But where do clocks go when their third hand falls off? The second hand shop.

You may need to think about that...
The 1st hand is the hour hand.
The 2nd hand is the minute hand.
The 3rd hand is the second hand.
Is that how humans and clocks meet? And I always had that question ...
 
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  • #3,480
Stavros Kiri said:
Is that how humans and clocks meet? And I always had that question ...

"Us humans' second hands are harvested from clocks, son."
 
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  • #3,481
jtbell said:
There are 30 cows in a field.
28 chickens.
How many didn't?
10? :oldbiggrin:
 
Last edited:
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  • #3,482
jtbell said:
There are 30 cows in a field.
28 chickens.
How many didn't?
I just saw this one on America's Funniest Home People!

(And thought to myself, that would never work in print...)
 
  • #3,483
There are 30 cows in a field.
28 chickens.
How many didn't?

DaveC426913 said:
I just saw this one on America's Funniest Home People!

(And thought to myself, that would never work in print...)
yeah ... it has gone over my head LOL
 
  • #3,484
Twenty ate chickens.
 
  • #3,485
DaveC426913 said:
Twenty ate chickens.
Sure? Maybe only two ate chicken.
 
  • #3,486
fresh_42 said:
Sure? Maybe only two ate chicken.
Well, that's why it's a verbal joke. :smile:
 
  • #3,487
fresh_42 said:
Sure? Maybe only two ate chicken.
That was my first thought too. But one says "twenty eight", not "two eight". :oldsmile:
 
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  • #3,488
17361547_10155240650566414_3341693997623241982_n.jpg


beware the ide's of March
 
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  • #3,489
Why would cows be eating chickens in the first place? It just doesn't make sense. What is going on around me in this world?! :confused::woot::nb)
 
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  • #3,490
collinsmark said:
Why would cows be eating chickens in the first place? It just doesn't make sense.
this is true ... when did they change from vegetarians to carnivores ... did I miss a memo or board meeting ??
 
  • #3,491
They have a secret agenda... :nb)
closed-on-sundays-still-open-for-business-the-relationship-era-blog-WljJQD-clipart.jpg
 
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  • #3,492
collinsmark said:
Why would cows be eating chickens in the first place? It just doesn't make sense. What is going on around me in this world?! :confused:

davenn said:
this is true ... when did they change from vegetarians to carnivores ... did I miss a memo or board meeting ??
Don't you know how mad cow disease spread?
 
  • #3,493
Did you ever get half way through eating a horse and then realize you really weren't that hungry after all?
 
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  • #3,494
A)
Logical Dog said:
Where does a lizard go when it tail falls off?

The retail store. : - )

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autotomy

nuuskur said:
Heard this one:
Where do animals go when their tails fall off?The retail store.

..hee ..hee.. hee..right?

... Copyright problem here ...

B)
mfb said:
You ask why I bought shoes from a drug dealer?
He was the sole supplier.
What about the rest of the shoe?
 
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  • #3,495
Stavros Kiri said:
What about the rest of the shoe?
The rest of the shoe consisted of beautiful crystal mats.
 
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  • #3,496
fresh_42 said:
The rest of the show consisted of beautiful crystal mats.
Show or shoe?
 
  • #3,497
Stavros Kiri said:
Show or shoe?
Ooops.
 
  • #3,498
fresh_42 said:
The rest of the shoe consisted of beautiful crystal mats.
You mean the magic ones that turn into dust! ... and beyond ...
Then that explains why he was tripping ...
mfb said:
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.You ask why I bought shoes from a drug dealer?
He was the sole supplier.
 
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  • #3,499
a good laugh ...

upload_2017-3-17_13-3-0.png
 
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  • #3,500
There were two brothers from Scotland. They went into the transportation industry, taking people between Glasgow and nearby small towns.

The business went very well, until one day there was a tragic accident. One of the brothers broke his neck.
 
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