Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

I don't know what you're saying. Assuming that you don't understand about the life cycle of anadromous fish ...

This was (funny?) remark about evolution, not about fish migrations.

 

[Mark44]

This was (funny?) remark about evolution, not about fish migrations.

The reference to evolution was too obscure for me to pick up...

 

[Ibix]

This was (funny?) remark about evolution, not about fish migrations.

Quoting the late great Sir PTerry from memory:

The sergeant gave the officer a look that had been handed down from NCO to NCO since one proto-amphibian had ordered another, lower ranking, proto-amphibian to muster a squad of newts and take that beach!

 

[DrGreg]

After about 20 minutes, the man's Doctor came into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor.
Angrily, the man answered, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"
After a pause, the doctor confessed... "Not with a Daffodil."

Here's the same joke in Carry On Nurse (1959), followed by a cross-reference in Carry On Doctor (1968).

 

[davenn]

Here's the same joke in Carry On Nurse (1959), followed by a cross-reference in Carry On Doctor (1968).

haha very good :)

 

[Charles Link]

This was (funny?) remark about evolution, not about fish migrations.

Hi @fresh_42 I just gave you a "like" to your response so I could say I gave you "like" # 3000. Congratulations! And no, this response really doesn't belong in the Lame joke section, but that was the easiest posting of yours to respond to. :) :) :)

 

[davenn]

Hahaha

 

[Ibix]

Hahaha

View attachment 211182

thank u please send me ur bank details and passwordz so i cn transfer the 19.95

 

[davenn]

thank u please send me ur bank details and passwordz so i cn transfer the 19.95

hahaha yup, when hell freezes over

 

[Ibix]

hahaha yup, when hell freezes over

Yeah, I don't think I've got the skills to make it as a con artist.

 

[davenn]

 

[Tom.G]

thank u please send me ur bank details and passwordz so i cn transfer the 19.95

hahaha yup, when hell freezes over

Pre-requisite met. Hand 'em over.

 

[davenn]

Pre-requisite met. Hand 'em over.

View attachment 211254

hahahaha

 

[ISamson]

Why did the electron cross the road?

Because it was being attracted by the ion.

 

[DrGreg]

Why did the electron cross the road?

Because it was being attracted by the ion.

Sorry, I don't get this. What's the connection between "road" and "ion"?

Nevertheless, I asked the ion if this story was true and she said "Yes".

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm positive."

 

[mfb]

... so the electron didn't reach it yet?

Don't trust the ion, especially not when it is neutral. Atoms make up everything.

 

[fresh_42]

By the way: Is there an Apple patent for switches?

Spoiler

i-on
i-off

 

[DrClaude]

Why did the electron cross the road? It didn't, it tunneled through

 

[ISamson]

Why is space-time curved?

Because it got curved.
Very lame, right?

 

[davenn]

 

[Borg]

View attachment 211304

I've always had trouble with statistics like that.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

I've always had trouble with statistics like that.

Simple: one of the 3 was pregnant ...

 

[mfb]

It is one of the 107% of statistics that are made up.

 

[jtbell]

I wonder if this retail chain is going to rename itself Toys R Bust.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2017/09/19/toys-r-us-files-bankruptcy/678069001/

 

[mfb]

Bust R Us

 

[ISamson]

"Mummy, can I have some π?"

 

[Stavros Kiri]

A crowded bus starts accelerating on a downhill road. Soon the passengers realize that a funny old little guy is running behind the bus, jogging, ambitiously trying to catch up with its fast increasing speed!
Everyone is laughing, having a good time ...
One of the passengers in the back rolls down a side window and sais to the old man:
"Hey little old man, why are you running chasing our bus?! We statred peeing from laughing up here! ..."
(Old man:) "Oh you haven't seen anything yet! ... Soon you'll do a lot worse ... because I'm the driver! ..."

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 211540

That reminds me of something I learned yesterday: what do you call a grilled cheese sandwich in (French -speaking) Quebec?

Grilled cheese.

"Sandwich au fromage fondant" never took off.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-41323915

 

[fresh_42]

That reminds me of something I learned yesterday: what do you call a grilled cheese sandwich in (French -speaking) Quebec?

Grilled cheese.

"Sandwich au fromage fondant" never took off.

That's because the crap on a grilled cheese sandwich doesn't deserve the name fromage. And additionally fromage fondant is a totally different thing, ask the Swiss! But a Fendant matches perfectly to it

https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raclette

 

[davenn]

"Sandwich au fromage fondant" never took off.

not surprised ... it's quite a mouthful

 

[DrGreg]

The Isley Brothers sang a song about all the different types of cheeses: "Some are bries".

 

[Stavros Kiri]

"Mummy, can I have some π?"

"Sure χν !"

 

[ISamson]

Sure χ ν !

What is χ ν? What does it mean?