Collection of Lame Jokes

[russ_watters]

This feeling when you smell your steak on the BBQ and your mouth begins to water.

I wonder if vegetarians have the same feeling when they mow the lawn?

This made me think about what it means to give someone flowers...because I care so much I want to decapitate/kill something beautiful for them.

 

[Vanadium 50]

This made me think about what it means to give someone flowers

You mean the severed sex organs of plants?

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Hamiltonian]

 

[DennisN]

We've had a heatwave going on here for a while. Hopefully it ends soon.

 

[DennisN]

What if UFOs are just Billionaires from other planets?

Speaking of...

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[phinds]

I think it's clever that this little rover reported on by the BBC can pick up cigarette butts but what I REALLY find amazing is that it can pick up other science news. How does it DO that?

 

[phinds]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Keith_McClary]

Thursday, July 29, 2021​

 

[mfb]

Add a "Please clean up before your owner" sign at the bottom.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Back when the Boy Scouts were still an American tradition, way back when I was a kid, we scouts had huge events call Jamborees. This is where up to hundreds of troops from all over the State, or even from all over the country, would gather and set up camp for a few days to a week, to take part is a wide range of scouting events.

There were two grand traditions for new scouts. I experienced the first when told that our troop was in short supply of bacon, so I should go around and ask other troops if they have a bacon stretcher. This was used to stretch the bacon so that one piece could be made into two. Much to the surprise of my Scoutmaster, the first place I checked had a bacon stretcher, which I promptly took back to our camp. But everyone was acting weird about it. For some reason they were all snickering.

I don't think I realized that there is no such a thing as a bacon stretcher until the next day.

The other tradition to which I never did fall victim was the snipe hunt. Snipes are mysterious critters that can be seen in the trees at night if you flash your lights at them. We would send out the new Scouts to hunt for snipes in the forest at night.

 

[phinds]

This is where up to hundreds of troops from all over the State, or even from all over the country ...

Or even from all over the world (the International Jamboree)

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

And we are only just another any meal.

 

[WWGD]

And we are only just another any meal.

Or another brick in the wough ( which is the way ' wall' sounded to me in the song).

 

[fresh_42]

Or another brick in the wough ( which is the way ' wall' sounded to me in the song).

Have you ever hears "horse" in English? To me, it sounds more like "hose".

I have recently recognized that I do not like any dialects if their melody goes up at the end of the sentence. The German ones included.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[256bits]

I don't think I realized that there is no such a thing as a bacon stretcher until the next day.

Well there should be such a thing.
Great project for third year mechanical engineers.

 

[jack action]