Collection of Lame Jokes

[Ibix]

Do you know why you never see elephants hiding in trees?

Because they're really, really good at it.

 

[WWGD]

And separate entries some 20 pages appart about Deja Vu in ' Why Things Are' by J Acgenbach.

 

[WWGD]

Do you know why you never see elephants hiding in trees?

Because they're really, really good at it.

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 295741

That's because baby elephants cannot climb trees and poles, yet.

 

[WWGD]

That's because baby elephants cannot climb trees and poles, yet.

But they can take residues around poles. Or maybe around germans too?

 

[DrClaude]

Which book is that? There's the same gag with 'recursion' in Kernighan & Ritchie.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0201529831/?tag=pfamazon01-20

 

[DaveC426913]

 

[DennisN]

 

[frost_zero]

why did the anode not attend 2020 reunion party?
it was positive

 

[jtbell]

Did you know that Norwegian warships have barcodes? It's because dey Scandinavian.

If they ever get into the Baltic Sea, they'll be Finnished off.

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

If I cut the pie in 3 equal pieces with a knife, each one is 0.333 of the pie. 3(0.333) =.999 .
Where's the rest of the pie?
A: It's stuck in the knife.

 

[Ibix]

If they ever get into the Baltic Sea, they'll be Finnished off.

Yeah, that Finnish admiral is a tough customer. Any enemy ships get close to his country and Helsinki dem.

 

[Ibix]

If I cut the pie in 3 equal pieces with a knife, each one is 0.333 of the pie. 3(0.333) =.999 .
Where's the rest of the pie?
A: It's stuck in the knife.

Assuming this is a circular pie, it's a rounding error.

 

[kuruman]

If I cut the pie in 3 equal pieces with a knife, each one is 0.333 of the pie. 3(0.333) =.999 .
Where's the rest of the pie?
A: It's stuck in the knife.

Your premise is incorrect. To divide a circular pie in 3 equal pieces, each piece must be 120° or two-thirds pie. You're off by a factor of two.

 

[jtbell]

Once upon a time, a group of diplomats from various European countries were flying over the Atlantic to a conference in New York.

They heard a loud "bang", followed by an announcement from the pilot. The plane was leaking fuel, and would not be able to reach land unless one of them jumped out to reduce weight.

The British diplomat stood up, shouted "God save the Queen!" and jumped out the hatch.

A bit later, the pilot reported that the fuel loss rate had increased, and another person would have to jump out.

The Soviet diplomat stood up, shouted, "Long live Comrade Brezhnev!" and jumped out the hatch.

A bit later, the pilot reported... well, you can guess.

The Dane, the Norwegian, the Icelander, and the Finn all stood up together, shouted in unison, "Long live Nordic cooperation!", picked up the Swede, and threw him out the hatch.

 

[WWGD]

Who doesn't recognize the type:

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DaveC426913]

Who doesn't recognize the type:View attachment 295809

Yup. Friend of a friend. Was an ACKtually Guy before it was a thing.

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[frost_zero]

Who doesn't recognize the type:View attachment 295809

I don't ;-;

 

[berkeman]

Ackchyually I don't ;-;

Fixed it for you.

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 295823​

I've seen networks named 'TellmyWiFiLoveHer'.

 

[fresh_42]

I've seen networks named 'TellmyWiFiLoveHer'.

https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/collection-of-lame-jokes.25301/page-237#post-6200020

 

[WWGD]

https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/collection-of-lame-jokes.25301/page-237#post-6200020

Somewhat-related, it seems Kiss put out in the 20th Century, a song called '2000 man', intended to describe someone ahead of their time. It takes a sort of bizarre different meaning now in 2022.

 

[Hornbein]

Somewhat-related, it seems Kiss put out in the 20th Century, a song called '2000 man', intended to describe someone ahead of their time. It takes a sort of bizarre different meaning now in 2022.

I don't know about Kiss, but the Rolling Stones had the first 2000 Man.

 

[Baluncore]

Ackychually, to be pacific, for all intensive purposes, we need hydroscopic materials.
Actually, to be specific, for all intents and purposes, we need hygroscopic materials.

 

[DaveC426913]

Ackychually, to be pacific, for all intensive purposes, we need hydroscopic materials.
Actually, to be specific, for all intents and purposes, we need hygroscopic materials.

Supposably, yes.

 

[WWGD]

Supposably, yes.

You need to axe the questen.

 

[jack action]

I don't know about Kiss, but the Rolling Stones had the first 2000 Man.

Yep, Kiss made a remake of the Rolling Stones song on the Dynasty album. You can even compare both here. (Boy, there is really everything on the Internet)

 

[WWGD]

Yep, Kiss made a remake of the Rolling Stones song on the Dynasty album. You can even compare both here. (Boy, there is really everything on the Internet)

I prefer the KISS version by far. I heard Ace Frehley(sp) and his brother I.P participated in the song.