Collection of Lame Jokes

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[DennisN]

 

[Ibix]

for all intensive purposes,

Ackchually, I believe it's for all intense porpoises.

 

[Baluncore]

Ackchually, I believe it's for all intense porpoises.

What concerns me is antenuation in Febuary, of the vertaberries in their skellingtons.
Let's bury the evidence with an escavator.

 

[DaveC426913]

Reminds me of a Halloween costume I made years back.

I carried a small tuxedo around on a hanger that had the two legs resewn into one big leg, and the jacket had a big slit up the back.
Whenever anyone asked, I'd say:
"Its not much but it suits my porpoise."

 

[WWGD]

" One of them is adopted"

 

[berkeman]

Ackchually it looks like 3 of them could be adopted...

 

[256bits]

It's the half baked crazy uncle come over for the weekend.
Kida just love the crazy uncle and do weird antics.
Parents are not too impressed.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

Michael, " Air", Jordan is marketing everywhere:

 

[jtbell]

"Why are you sitting in front of your steak with your eyes closed?"

"Shhh... I'm meatitating."

 

[WWGD]

Close call?

 

[WWGD]

 

[DennisN]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

My dog after eating up my philosophy book:

 

[DaveC426913]

My dog after eating up my philosophy book:

 

[fresh_42]

Reminds me of one of my favorite quotations (last time I saw it, it was said from Bill Murray, but that's not for sure):

I do not trust people who do not like dogs.
But I do trust dogs if they do not like people.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

Fantom dog:

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

My grandpa told me that he got to see the Titanic and that from the beginning he told them not to get on board because he knew it was going to sink.

But no one listened and he repeatedly told them until the minute he got kicked out of the movie theater.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[sysprog]

To me it looks like pac-man about to scarf a pregnant woman.

 

[phinds]

Grim but funny:

The day after his mother-in-law disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Twillingate, Newfoundland man answered his door to find two grim-faced RCMP officers.

"We're sorry Mr. Flynn, but we have some information about your mother-in-law," said one of the officers?

"Tell me! Did you find her?!" Cedric Flynn asked. The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, Mr. Flynn said, "Give me the bad news first."

The RCMP officer said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your mother-in-law's body in the bay.""Lord sufferin' Jaysus!" exclaimed Flynn.

Swallowing hard, he asked, "What could possibly be the good news?"

The officer continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 of the best looking Atlantic lobsters that you have ever seen clinging to her. Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 1960's, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."

Stunned, Mr. Flynn demanded, "If that's the good news, then what's the great news?"

The officer replied, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ibix]

I have decided to start a political party. It will be called the sensible Party (note the capitalisation). Any parties who don't immediately copy my platform will have to admit that they don't want to implement sensible policies.

 

[WWGD]

 

[thegoldbering]

My dad was a pistol, that makes me a son of a gun...

Swear to god I didn't know this one xD!