Collection of Lame Jokes

[BillTre]

 

[artis]

View attachment 299943

Well now the phrase " I come from the land down under" gets a new meaning doesn't it ?

 

[BillTre]

Apparently this is the same ship that was told to "Go F**h yourself!".

 

[Borg]

Apparently this is the same ship that was told to "Go F**h yourself!".

I guess that Ukraine got tired of waiting for that to happen and took care of it themselves.

 

[artis]

Apparently this is the same ship that was told to "Go F**h yourself!".

Like my dad used to say, sometimes you have to wait for good things to happen...
Stuff like marriage
True love
Good job, or
A Russian ship going "south"From what I hear this was done with a Ukrainian missile (they had some serious defense bureau's back in the USSR left over to them)

 

[pinball1970]

A Wife Sends Her Software Engineer Husband to the Store.Get two cartons of milk and if they have eggs get sixLater, the husband comes back with six cartons of milk.The wife asks him why he bought six cartons of milk.He replied, "They had eggs."

 

[BillTre]

From what I hear this was done with a Ukrainian missile (they had some serious defense bureau's back in the USSR left over to them)

It was their home made (Ukrainian) Neptun anti-ship missile, a modification of a previous Russian weapon. more explosive, more rocket power. They were developing it for several years and just got the first useful products. I think it has something like a 60 mile range.
Bad weather may have helped them (two missiles) get by the ship's anti-missile defenses.
May have had electronic surveillance help from a NATO electronics plane, in finding the ship.

I have been waiting for anti-ship missiles to get those pesky Russian ships that were pummeling coastal sites. The ship was also involved in providing sophisticated radar and anti-aircraft coverage over areas of Ukraine.

 

[BillTre]

It seems the Moskva may not have sunk, but is being towed back to port.

 

[artis]

Seems like we need a dedicated Ukraine thread once more...

 

[artis]

Russia wants peace, they said it and I believe them and you should too.

1. Peace of Ukraine
2. Peace of Baltics
3. Peace of Poland
4. ...

 

[artis]

 

[artis]

 

[artis]

Russian army in Ukraine? - A special military operation

Sweden and Finland joining NATO? - A special cooperation

 

[artis]

 

[pinball1970]

Er yes guys...let's see how far we can push the mods! (Joke honest)

Anyway...A biologist a chemist and a statistician go on a deer hunt. The biologist fires 6 inches to the right of the Deers head, the Chemist 6 inches to the left.

The statistician shouts,

'we hit hit it!'

 

[pinball1970]

"So you're an exorcist, that's interesting. When you travel for an exorcism, do you get paid per diem?"

"No, I get paid per demon."

Can't lie, I had to look up Diem before I upvoted. Even though I have used the phrase Carpus Diem to sound clever at some point. Then I looked up Carpe Diem to check I said it right. I didn't.

Anyway Schrödinger gets pulled over by the police and they check his boot (trunk if you are USA)

Police officer: 'Do you realize you have a dead cat in your boot sir?'

Schrödinger: 'Well now I do!'

 

[artis]

Er yes guys...let's see how far we can push the mods! (Joke honest)

Anyway...A biologist a chemist and a statistician go on a deer hunt. The biologist fires 6 inches to the right of the Deers head, the Chemist 6 inches to the left.

The statistician shouts,

'we hit hit it!'

Plot twist,

The reason both missed is because the rifle was manufactured by a quantum physicist, the bullets from that rifle interfere with themselves and produce a probability distribution

 

[DennisN]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[artis]

View attachment 299976

Somebody should paint a fake road barrier in front of that fake tunnel

 

[artis]

Most already know the Ukrainian stamp about the soldier who flips a bird to the Russian warship

But now there is an update , the ship sank while being towed to port, therefore the updated stamp looks like this

We have to be precise...

 

[artis]

Also there is a new "CAPTCHA" ,

"Click on all squares containing Russian warship"...

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DennisN]

Also there is a new "CAPTCHA" ,

"Click on all squares containing Russian warship"...
View attachment 299996

View attachment 300019

Incredibly funny, both of them!

 

[DennisN]

 

[BillTre]

 

[artis]

View attachment 300056

On the bright side, at least the husband will never have problems remembering how they first met...

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 299976

I wonder if the police in Columbia SC have had any similar reports?

 

[artis]

Z boson just called - after 24th of February 2022 it wants it's identity changed...

In other particle physics news, the Russian army performance in Ukraine is now considered a "weak interaction"

 

[BillTre]

 

[jack action]

We will continue to have meetings until we find out why no work is getting done.

 

[BillTre]

We will continue the beatings until morale improves.

 

[Borg]

We are expanding the bureaucracy to accommodate the needs of the expanding bureaucracy.

 

[artis]

We are expanding the bureaucracy to accommodate the needs of the expanding bureaucracy.

This I'm afraid is both sad and true and funny at the same time