Collection of Lame Jokes

[dextercioby]

 

[phinds]

View attachment 313152

Reminds me of the story told by Jeanne Robertson about the time she sent her husband (whom she calls "left brain") to the store with a numbered grocery list.

He came home with
1 dozen eggs
2 gallons of milk
3 boxes of cheerios
4 packages of bacon
.
.
.
etc

 

[Swamp Thing]

Reminds me of the story told by Jeanne Robertson about the time she sent her husband (whom she calls "left brain") to the store with a numbered grocery list.

He came home with
1 dozen eggs
2 gallons of milk
3 boxes of cheerios
4 packages of bacon
.
.
.
etc

How about:
◯ dozen eggs
◯ gallons of milk
◯ boxes of cheerios
◯ packages of bacon

 

[DrClaude]

Reminds me of the story told by Jeanne Robertson about the time she sent her husband (whom she calls "left brain") to the store with a numbered grocery list.

He came home with
1 dozen eggs
2 gallons of milk
3 boxes of cheerios
4 packages of bacon
.
.
.
etc

I don't get how the numbers can be anything but multipliers here. @Swamp Thing's list illustrates this, as it makes no sense to write

◯ dozen eggs
◯ gallons of milk
◯ boxes of cheerios
◯ packages of bacon

 

[Swamp Thing]

I don't get how the numbers can be anything but multipliers here. @Swamp Thing's list illustrates this, as it makes no sense to write

I think we are to understand that the actual list looked like

1 eggs
2 milk
3 cheerios
4 bacon

And the list in phinds' post is what the guy came home with. Presumably, he filled in the units for each quantity according to his best judgement.

And the premise of my own feeble joke is that if it was a list with circle bullets, he would have come home with zero of each item.

 

[Orodruin]

And the premise of my own feeble joke is that if it was a list with circle bullets, he would have come home with zero of each item.

... or simply never have left ...

 

[Swamp Thing]

... or simply never have left ...

Depends on how left-brained he was.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[BillTre]

 

[Orodruin]

View attachment 313168

My first thought is Jar-Jar Binks in tree form.

 

[Ibix]

My first thought is Jar-Jar Binks in tree form.

Old, but related.

 

[strangerep]

[what the hell is that...]

I wouldn't have thought it possible that any Ent, no matter how disturbingly disfigured, could fail to get a part in The Two Towers.

 

[nuuskur]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[pinball1970]

Old, but related.

I would say more thingy

 

[nuuskur]

but everybody knows Australia is fake so the above is just a fun drawing.

 

[JT Smith]

Old, but related.

 

[nuuskur]

is that Lord of the flies?

 

[malawi_glenn]

Pearson textbooks be like:

I think the only pearson textbook I enjoy is Munkres Topology...

Idea for dinner?

 

[Orodruin]

I think the only pearson textbook I enjoy is Munkres Topology...

Idea for dinner?
View attachment 313220

What about bird flu?

 

[malawi_glenn]

What about bird flu?

Salmon flu

 

[Bystander]

Salmon flu

Are we going to get into a "Steve Martin Rubberheads" routine here?

 

[phinds]

 

[strangerep]

[...] but everybody knows Australia is fake so the above is just a fun drawing.

Well, the cat vomiting out Tasmania as a fur ball is not an entirely fictitious metaphor.

 

[fresh_42]

Well, the cat vomiting out Tasmania as a fur ball is not an entirely fictitious metaphor.

I like Simon Baker.

 

[strangerep]

I like Simon Baker.

Well, yes, but he left the place of his birth quite early in his life.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[Ibix]

Reminds me of "Blink", one of the two creepiest Dr Who episodes ever.

 

[phinds]

 

[pinball1970]

I think the only pearson textbook I enjoy is Munkres Topology...

Idea for dinner?
View attachment 313220

I thought it was salmon too!

Mind you it was a word I had never heard before and I think I was about 8.

 

[fresh_42]

"You cannot name your son Yellower!"
"Why not? Yours is Oliver."

 

[256bits]

"You cannot name your son Yellower!"
"Why not? Yours is Oliver."

I cannot catch the theme.
does it have something to do with hex code #9D8F65

 

[Ibix]

I cannot catch the theme.
does it have something to do with hex code #9D8F65

Oliver might be interpreted as "more olive", and olive is indeed a colour.