Collection of Lame Jokes

[DaveC426913]

View attachment 313607

I don't get it.

Oh. It's because he's a scientist, not a homeless crazy.

 

[DennisN]

 

[Ibix]

I don't get it.

Oh. It's because he's a scientist, not a homeless crazy.

Well, he's a scientist, anyway...

 

[jbriggs444]

You just have to sing it like Shatner.

Since the entire construct amounts to four measures of rest, there should not be a lot of Shatner singing going on. Thank goodness.

 

[pinball1970]

View attachment 313607

I thought it was a Dr which would still work. A Dr in the UK NHS was my next thought.
That would work too

 

[Steve4Physics]

What do we want?
More rights for the elderly.
When do we want it?
Want what?

 

[nuuskur]

 

[phinds]

 

[Orodruin]

View attachment 313614

Technically this would be the equivalent of wearing styrofoam boots for a human too. They neither sink or fly, giving access to either medium. They should use helium balloons.

 

[Borg]

I'm reminded of the Weird News story a few months ago where a woman fell into an open cesspool trying to retrieve her cellphone. In her case, she decided to swim with the feces.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[DennisN]

 

[gmax137]

View attachment 313216

Sorry, brings this to mind

 

[BillTre]

 

[Mayhem]

When physicists use hieroglyphics to explain the secrets of the universe, they win a Nobel prize. When I do it, I'm suddenly "having a psychotic episode" and "a potential danger to myself and others". The hypocrisy.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 313845

My guess.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 313866

I still know how to use it.

I meanwhile get a tennis elbow when I have to scroll my birthyear.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[BillTre]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

I do not understand why people are afraid of sharks. I mean, you hear it by the music if one comes.

 

[Baluncore]

I do not understand why people are afraid of sharks.

A dive buddy can halve your chances of being taken by a big shark.

 

[jtbell]

You don't need to be able to swim faster than a shark... just faster than your dive buddy.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]