Collection of Lame Jokes

[WWGD]

Everything was better before. Stone age, for example, no bills, no IRS, and BBQ the whole time.

But no party every day!

 

[Swamp Thing]

Everything was better before. Stone age, for example, no bills, no IRS, and BBQ the whole time.

But on the other hand, no PhysicsForums, so...

 

[Baluncore]

But on the other hand, no PhysicsForums, so...

Experiment with levers, Reinvent the wheel.

 

[OCR]

Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, And Very Little Else

That's not funny. . . .Lol. . . j/k .

.

 

[Orodruin]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[berkeman]

https://www.dadpatrol.com/bat-dad/t...rome=1&D5c=1&A5c=1&D_4_6cALL=1&D_4_6_10cALL=1

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

​

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Ibix]

They're absolutely the best, though.

(In case that's Brits-only.)

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 314314

Imagine those dogs walking around in pain. Ouch!

 

[Godot_]

Vets have to dispose of their ... droppings, too.
Also would explain the price.

On topic:

An epic end-of-the-world story:

"Begone!" said the solipsist.

 

[fresh_42]

Oktoberfest in Munich! It's a long way home.

 

[Orodruin]

Can confirm, I did 3.5 years in Munich as a postdoc. It is the only time I have been told my face looked green. (Combining a couple of Maßkrug with one of those human centrifuge theme park rides wrecks havoc on your sense of balance …)

 

[dextercioby]

Social media would have been a bad idea a while ago.

 

[jack action]

Bread is like the sun: it rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.

 

[fresh_42]

Bread is like the sun: it rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.

 

[BillTre]

 

[Orodruin]

Somehow I thought of this one …

 

[Arjan82]

Somehow I thought of this one …

This is stolen from 'Allo 'Allo!, but unfortunately I cannot find the fragment...

 

[dextercioby]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[BillTre]

 

[jack action]

When a man says he'd do
anything for a woman
he means he'd stop bullets
and kill dragons,
not clean the basement
and wash dishes.​

 

[DaveC426913]

My own creation. (Did I post this already?)

There once was a man from Felicity
Who trusted his wife implicitly
But when he told her so
She rebuked him "No longer so!
For now you have spake it explicitly!"

 

[artis]

 

[artis]

This is actually not a joke, but it just happened that the "escape" button on my keyboard "escaped" the keyboard due to a stronger than usual push upon it.

 

[Baluncore]

This is actually not a joke, ...

Tiddlywinks now reaching escape velocity, (from the keyboard).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiddlywinks

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

Took me a couple of beats to get this one:

"I had the strangest dream last night," a man was telling his psychiatrist.

"I saw my mother, but when she turned around to look at me, I noticed that she had your face. You can imagine, I found this very disturbing, and in fact, I woke up immediately, and couldn't get back to sleep. I just lay there in bed waiting for morning to come, and then I got up, drank a Coke, and came right over here for my appointment. I thought you could help me explain the meaning of this strange dream."

The psychiatrist was silent for a full minute before responding: "A Coke? You call that a breakfast?"