Collection of Lame Jokes

[gmax137]

Those who know, know. lol...

 

[Borg]

Maybe he was just expecting a three hour cruise.

 

[davenn]

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

Cop stopped me for excessive speeding and I told him he couldn't arrest me for being a good consumer. I paid for the whole speedometer and by God I'm going to USE the whole speedometer !

Cop stopped me last night and asked whether I was in a hurry. I confirmed and said that I'm late to a
lecture about the socio-economic phenomena and their impact on global interactions through alcohol as well as on the personal consequences to private circumstances of life. He asked who in the world would hold a lecture at almost midnight. I told him, my wife.

 

[Borg]

All these police stories remind me of the time that I saw a woman get pulled over for speeding in my neighborhood. As I walked past, the officer had just gotten to her car. She rolled her window down and the first thing that she said was "I'm in a hurry". I didn't stick around for the rest of the conversation but I'll bet that was fun.

 

[Ibix]

Those who know, know. lol...

View attachment 316663

 

[dextercioby]

 

[phinds]

 

[jrmichler]

Or a really bad smell. Or the fun of shoveling it out when it fills up. Yep, BTDT. At the cottage, fortunately.

 

[Wrichik Basu]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[DaveC426913]

^{I made a thing.}

 

[256bits]

A biology joke.

What would bears do without bees?

Ans. they would become ears.

 

[256bits]

Some more corny-ness.

Bicycles fall over because they are two tired.
Cows wear bells because their horns don't work.
The horse tripped and exclaimed for help, "I can't giddy-up!"

 

[DrGreg]

A biology joke.

What would bears do without bees?

Ans. they would become ears.

Q: What's the most dangerous bee?
A: The hepatitus bee.

Corollary:
Q: What's the most dangerous sea?
A: (work that one out for yourself)

 

[DennisN]

 

[256bits]

Q: What's the most dangerous sea?
A: (work that one out for yourself)

Le question est difficile a conprendre.

 

[fresh_42]

Le question est difficile a conprendre.

But only because you haven't defined "dangerous". I find all seas dangerous.

 

[256bits]

There once was a wise C letter
Who thought to show them better
So he/she argued the point
And cleared out the joint
And the C-difficiile got all the cheddar.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 316788

Diane Barrows: Hey, a girl's bear's got to have her standards.

 

[Borg]

People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian", well nobody's laughing now.

 

[Borg]

I knew someone who worked for a road crew. I refused to believe that he was stealing on the job but when I visited his house, all the signs were there.

 

[Borg]

 

[DennisN]

Can you bear a couple of more jokes on the topic?

 

[fresh_42]

Congratulations! It's a forklift!​

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[bland]

This is not a joke, but it's pretty lame so it goes here...

I was just mulling over that a pound of feathers is heavier than a pound of gold, but an ounce of gold is heavier than an ounce of feathers.

 

[bland]

OK what did the woman say when a steam roller ran over her cat.

 

[davenn]

 

[dextercioby]