Collection of Lame Jokes

[dextercioby]

Catality!!

 

[topsquark]

View attachment 335702

So who is the 7th dwarf?

-Dan

 

[johntpl]

Yes. They detained him in a cell at 350 F for 6 hours.

-Dan

But not before doing a cavity search…

 

[fresh_42]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[ohwilleke]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[BillTre]

 

[davenn]

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 30,000 feet, when suddenly an Eurofighter with a Tempo Mach 2 appears.

The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus, boring flight isn’t it? Now have a look here!"

He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, and then swoops down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the Airbus and asks: "Well, how was that?"

The Airbus pilot answers: "Very impressive, but watch this!"

The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly straight, at the same speed. After 15 minutes, the Airbus pilot radios, "Well, how was that?

Confused, the jet pilot asks, "What did you do?"

The Airbus pilot laughs and says: "I got up, stretched my legs, walked to the back of the aircraft to use the washroom, then got a cup of coffee and a chocolate fudge pastry."

The moral of the story is: When you’re young, speed and adrenaline seems to be great. But as you get older and wiser, you learn that comfort and peace are more important.

This is called S.O.S.: Slower, Older and Smarter.

 

[berkeman]

Not exactly a lame joke, but it still made me laugh. And it's an incredible blunder by a normally very professional organization (MotoGP).

The penultimate race is in Qatar today, with the title on the line. Because they are racing in the very hot desert and to align the broadcast better with their TV audience, they run the final race in the dark in the early evening.

But they apparently still felt the need to have the "umbrella ladies" assisting the riders on the starting grid, so they would not get overheated by the racetrack lights...

 

[davenn]

Anyone that knows me and one of my passions .....

 

[dextercioby]

 

[DrClaude]

But they still apparenly still felt the need to have the "umbrella ladies" assisting the riders on the starting grid, so they would not get overheated by the racetrack lights...

Maybe they're not there for their umbrellas?...

 

[berkeman]

Maybe they're not there for their umbrellas?...

LOL. But having thought about it overnight now, I'm guessing they are there for the advertisements on the umbrellas. MotoGP is pretty commercial (and successful as a business), so it would probably tick off the sponsors if all of their advertisements were not on display.

 

[fresh_42]

LOL. But having thought about it overnight now, I'm guessing they are there for the advertisements on the umbrellas. MotoGP is pretty commercial (and successful as a business), so it would probably tick off the sponsors if all of their advertisements were not on display.

... and then there are those sandstorms ...

 

[dextercioby]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[nuuskur]

View attachment 335774

hey I would give like half a credit for creativity :D

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 335834

It's more about holding off George Michael over here.

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

(no, I'm not like that, but I thought the joke was funny )

 

[DennisN]

It's more about holding off George Michael over here.

Oh, I know so well what you mean. Same here .

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DennisN]

Anyone that knows me and one of my passions .....

View attachment 335802

 

[nuuskur]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

Saw a bumper sticker today:

ROCK IS DEAD
long live paper and scissors

 

[dextercioby]

 

[nuuskur]

Free extra sauce for everyone, fitty is paying for it!