Collection of Lame Jokes

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Swamp Thing]

Notice that the typical call center icon

looks a lot like the horror/scream icon?

 

[fresh_42]

(Not that it matters but the caption says: That explains it all.)

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

Musk is moving X and SpaceX to Texas and not one reporter could come up with the headline "All the Exes and going to Texas" ?

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 348575

I guess the choice depends on whether you want your dog to be able to hide in plain sight on your furniture.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 348598​

I posted this on FB and it was immediately removed as spam because I used the link, not the photo. I did now use the photo on a second try: I'm excited to see whether I'll get into FB jail for it.

 

[BillTre]

Cross-over Event:

 

[fresh_42]

 

[phinds]

You are not going to BELIEVE the pizza that slices from this this go on.

 

[fresh_42]

You are not going to BELIEVE the pizza that slices from this this go on.

View attachment 348604

Mortadella on pizza? That's worse than caper, artichoke, and anchovies combined!

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 348597​

... and now imagine another Carrington event!

 

[phinds]

 

[Borg]

 

[dwarde]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 348627

I understood that @BillTre has planned to visit @phinds but is now considering whether he can afford it.

 

[BillTre]

View attachment 348627

Sometimes I make ironic responses like this.
Enjoy!

 

[fresh_42]

 

[dwarde]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

The wife of a lawyer asked her husband,”Would you explain a puzzling question that has been agitating my mind for some time now?”

Husband: Okay darling, what's the question?

Wife: Why is it that the wife has to cook meals for the husband everyday?

The lawyer thought over the question for some time and replied:

According to the Geneva Convention, every prisoner of war has to be fed balanced diet by their captors at least twice a day.

 

[davenn]

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, 'What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!'

The doctor chimed in, 'I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!'

The priest said, 'Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him.'

He said, 'Hello, George! what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?'

The greens keeper replied, 'Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.'

The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, 'That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.'

The doctor said, 'Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them.'

The engineer said, 'Why can't they play at night?'

 

[WWGD]

 

[berkeman]

 

[Orodruin]

 

[davenn]

View attachment 348720

I only posted that one a day ago look back on this same page

 

[WWGD]

I only posted that one a day ago look back on this same page

I bet a good chunk of the total are repeats.