Collection of Lame Jokes

[jtbell]

Why did the law school hire a turtle for a faculty position?

To teach tort law.

 

[Ibix]

Why did the law school hire a turtle for a faculty position?

To teach tort law.

But if it's already tort do you really need to teach it again?

 

[WWGD]

I used to think my dad was a superhero, until I realized he was just a weird guy who walked around wearing a cape.

 

[WWGD]

Why did the law school hire a turtle for a faculty position?

To teach tort law.

Tort, tart, cake, pie. Ill figure out which is which one of these days.

 

[WWGD]

I remember as an undergrad, looking for a student tenure position, aka, the Peter Pan scholarship.

 

[mjc123]

Why did the law school hire a turtle for a faculty position?

To teach tort law.

"Our schoolmaster was an old turtle. We used to call him Tortoise"
"Why did you call him Tortoise if he wasn't one?"
"We called him Tortoise because he taught us."

- Alice in Wonderland

 

[phinds]

 

[Ibix]

The time I happened to see the post above:

 

[WWGD]

So someone stole the Viagra pills Amazon had left in my porch. I feel , more than angry, impotent.

 

[DrGreg]

So someone stole the Viagra pills Amazon had left in my porch. I feel , more than angry, impotent.

Police are looking for a hardened criminal.

 

[Swamp Thing]

He's gonna get a stiff sentence.

 

[topsquark]

He's gonna get a stiff sentence.

At least that will straighten him out.

-Dan

 

[jtbell]

At least that will straighten him out.

You mean the criminal justice system can cure Peyronie's disease?

 

[phinds]

So someone stole the Viagra pills Amazon had left in my porch. I feel , more than angry, impotent.

Police are looking for a hardened criminal.

He's gonna get a stiff sentence.

At least that will straighten him out.

-Dan

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Orodruin]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jtbell]

Yogi Berra: "When you come to a fork in the road, take it!"

Me: "Nah, it's too big. I'll just take a picture of it."

Yes, the sign on the fork says, FORK IN THE ROAD.

 

[WWGD]

Yogi Berra: "When you come to a fork in the road, take it!"

Me: "Nah, it's too big. I'll just take a picture of it."

View attachment 350131

Yes, the sign on the fork says, FORK IN THE ROAD.

He must have been a big eater ;).

 

[phinds]

Yes, the sign on the fork says, FORK IN THE ROAD.

I see the fork but where's the road?

 

[jtbell]

I see the fork but where's the road?

I suppose it really should say FORK IN THE FORK IN THE ROAD...

 

[Borg]

I feel like I'm being spoon-fed the joke.

 

[Ibix]

But it's knife to have it all set out clearly.

 

[phinds]

for all of the above

 

[davenn]

 

[Ibix]

My wife said she hadn't seen the film "Gaslight".

I told her she definitely had.

Source

 

[davenn]

 

[DrGreg]

I never suspected my wife was having an affair with a roadworker, but then I saw the signs.

 

[Orodruin]

https://xkcd.com/2974