Collection of Lame Jokes

[Ibix]

Are you still having trouble finding toilet paper? Try your local bakery.

View attachment 261566

It's glutein free as well, according to the sign...

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[mfb]

They did practice social distancing on the way.

 

[jack action]

Spoiler: animation video

​

​

 

[Keith_McClary]

Spoiler: Animation video

​

​

I think we've had questions like that.

 

[WWGD]

Why Psychologists should avoid narrow doors in their offices. Sign:
A Smith
Psycho-
the-
Rapist

 

[256bits]

View attachment 261207

Reminds of this one.
( it has to be said with some slang and slurring )

You know a city in Alaska?
Everybody knows Juneau.
What? Do you know.
Yes, Juneau,
I asked you first.

 

[phinds]

 

[jedishrfu]

Or the Miss America pageant joke on rabbits:

Do you want to know how to catch a unique rabbit?

Yes, How?

You neak up on it

Do you want to know how to catch a tame rabbit?

The tame way you neak up on it.

 

[BillTre]

 

[strangerep]

View attachment 261697

... only "several"?

 

[Keith_McClary]

View attachment 261517

https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/prat

 

[davenn]

Harrison Ford has released a compilation of songs that are based on the Star Wars trilogy.

It's his first Solo album.

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

Harrison Ford has released a compilation of songs that are based on the Star Wars trilogy.

It's his first Solo album.

Yes, and he searched for quite a while till he found an Indie label which published it.

 

[davenn]

Question: who declared Covid-19 as a pandemic?
Answer: WHO declared Covid-19 as a pandemic

 

[nsaspook]

 

[phinds]

 

[davenn]

View attachment 261792

Ya really got to wonder about the intelligence of some of these dope huh ?

 

[phinds]

Ya really got to wonder about the intelligence of some of these dope huh ?

Nah, I've given up wondering about it. I KNOW they're dopes.

 

[mfb]

It might be very rare that there is more than one queue at the same time.

 

[phinds]

It might be very rare that there is more than one queue at the same time.

Spoilsport. Never bring logic to a joke.

(yeah, I know you were responding to our comments about the intelligence of whoever did the layout).

 

[jtbell]

Question: who declared Covid-19 as a pandemic?
Answer: WHO declared Covid-19 as a pandemic

Maxwell Smart: Who he?
The Chief: He Hoo.
Smart: Who?
The Chief: HOO.
Smart: That's what I'm asking you!

(reconstructed from dim memory... I can't find a transcript on line of "The Amazing Harry Hoo".)

 

[mfb]

Who is leading China? Hu is leading China.

 

[fresh_42]

Maxwell Smart: Who he?
The Chief: He Hoo.
Smart: Who?
The Chief: HOO.
Smart: That's what I'm asking you!

(reconstructed from dim memory... I can't find a transcript on line of "The Amazing Harry Hoo".)

Maxwell Smart: Who's that?
Policeman: That's Hoo.
Maxwell Smart: Who's who?
Policeman: He's Hoo.
Maxwell Smart: Oh, he's who. What are you talking about?

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0587575/quotes/

 

[WWGD]

We used to cough to hide a fart. After Covid, we fart to hide a cough.

 

[davenn]

Broken puppets for sale...
No strings attached.

 

[DrGreg]

Broken puppets for sale...
No strings attached.

Broken barometers for sale...
No pressure.

 

[fresh_42]

Broken wires for sale.
No shorts.

 

[mfb]

Broken clock to give away.
You'll pick it up at exactly 10:24.

 

[Ibix]

Broken clock to give away.
You'll pick it up at exactly 10:24.

AM or PM?

 

[fresh_42]

AM or PM?

PM, it's a sundial.

 

[Klystron]

Naked singularity free to a caring black hole. Or trade for a fuzzy kitten.

 

[Ibix]

PM, it's a sundial.

How did a sundial break? Did someone brake the Earth's rotation?