Collection of Science Jokes P2

Ibix · Jun 14, 2023

Definitely need that "groan" reaction...

BillTre · Jun 15, 2023

Many jokes were made of this:

davenn · Jun 15, 2023

One day, Einstein has to speak at an important science conference.
On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:
"I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"
The driver agrees: "You're right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place."
"That's a great idea!" says Einstein. "Let's switch places then!"
So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.
But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won't be able to respond.
So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question.
The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.
There is a long palpable pause…
Then driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says:
"𝐒𝐢𝐫, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈'𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞.”

Tom.G · Jun 16, 2023

Arrgh! The punch line is in Unicode which doesn't display here!

Ibix · Jun 16, 2023

Tom.G said:

Arrgh! The punch line is in Unicode which doesn't display here!

"Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I'm going to let my driver reply to it for me."

jack action · Jun 16, 2023

jack action · Jun 16, 2023

Borg · Jun 17, 2023

From a class in orbital mechanics:

If you're not a little bit eccentric you're just going in circles.

davenn · Jun 19, 2023

phinds · Jun 23, 2023

Tom.G · Jun 23, 2023

... and about to be a dead weight!

Swamp Thing · Jun 23, 2023

Nice title : "This invention got Tesla inducted into the Hall of Fame!"

jack action · Jun 26, 2023

BillTre · Jun 26, 2023

Screenshot 2023-06-26 at 10.41.40 AM.png

jack action · Jul 2, 2023

jack action · Jul 4, 2023

For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.

The first kingdom was quite rich and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires' polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons.

The second kingdom was not so wealthy and sent only 10 knights, each with 2 squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires' polished armor and prepared dinner.

The third kingdom was very poor and only sent one elderly knight with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a looped rope, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight's armor.

The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought.

The battle raged well into the late hours, but when the dust finally settled, a solitary figure limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious.

And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.